I've been thinking about suicide nearly every day since I was 12, I've come close to killing myself multiple times since then. I haven't had a friend in 6 years & I have nobody to talk to.

I don't think this is normal & I think its a bit unfair.

>>82083590 (OP)
well what do you want ME to do about it huh

>>82083590 (OP)
Try getting drunk and on stimulants first to lower your impulse control anf buy the nessesary ingredients and visualize and edge daily and just do it when the urge to kill or die swells that's what I plan to do

>>82083673
hey don't do this
>>82083590 (OP)
It's not fair, it's childhood circumstances and brain chemistry you had no control over. It doesn't sound helpful but if you're this type of suicidal person-- I've felt the same way since around the same age OP-- then it will probably be pretty lifelong or at least a strong constant in your 20s. You gotta carve out your "thing", pick something and get good at it and self-worth will come naturally secondary.