Thread 82085730

hi anon. how are you today? everything hurts, but it's okay. we can get through it! is there any place you'd really like to visit sometime?

>>82085730 (OP)
hi anon. how are you today?
eh its a "meh" day. Didn't do anything and now that the day is slowly ending i don't feel like starting anything anyways. Gotta sleep and wake up earlier i think.

>everything hurts, but it's okay
did something in particular happen or is it just one of those unexplainable attacks on ones mind? Regardless of cause it will probably just work out in the end.

>is there any place you'd really like to visit sometime?
yeah my grandparents in ukraine. I can't and didn't visit them since this thing started.
Grandpa is stoic like always but my grandma is not taking it really well so i wanna see her especially.

>>82085730 (OP)
i hope the pain settles down anon, whatever the cause may be. ive been ok today, i feel very empty today and everything feels very derealized. but is what it is. i played mc with some friends which was fun and made progress on my block mod, tho i wasted it all on a meme item. better than nothing ig

>>82085838
>everything feels very derealized
That sounds concerning

>>82085908
Sorry forgot the name, silly me

>>82085908
i dont think its anything to worry about i get it alot

>>82085730 (OP)
>how are you today
I am extremely frustrated. Fucking home repair guys canceled on me due to a mold problem I thought they could take care of. Now I need to reschedule everything and also deal with the expense of getting the mold cleared by a separate company.

Man I wish I could just fuckin kill myself.

>there any place you'd really like to visit sometime?
Alaska, I think. I like the cold, and I hear the night sky is fantastic up there.

>>82085810
>Gotta sleep and wake up earlier i think.
yeah, honestly i think waking up at a decent hour in the morning in the best habit one can have. it feels like you have so much more time to do things, and it doesnt feel like you've already wasted half the day when you wake up. thank you for the pierogi also! i wanna try and make them sometime they seem tasty.
>did something in particular happen
i guess there was a trigger yeah but i'd rather not go into details. it just, sucks. but yeah. eventually things will stop hurting one way or another.
>yeah my grandparents
oh i see, i hope they're safe and sound anon. are they not letting anyone in the country or are they in some kind of restricted area? i really dont keep up with the news much. hope you can see them soon
>>82085838
>i feel very empty today and everything feels very derealized
sorry you feel that way anon. is the derealization because you want to escape the bad feelings? or does it just happen? it'll pass soon regardless, ganbare!
also meme items are a great thing to work on too if you ask me. so good job!
>>82086025
>of getting the mold cleared by a separate company.
well that sucks. never thought mold could be such a bother. hopefully it wont be too expensive. do you need to repair your ceiling or something?
>Man I wish I could just fuckin kill myself.
you and me both anon, but unfortunately we are stuck here for now. so lets try our best
>Alaska
oh that would be such a nice place to stargaze! and perhaps you could see the auroras too? though im not too sure about that. cold always beats warm imo too

>>82086171
>sorry you feel that way anon. is the derealization because you want to escape the bad feelings? or does it just happen?
its a cope for general loneliness and everything feeling pointless i suppose. it will pass tho, so ganbare it is.
>also meme items are a great thing to work on too if you ask me. so good job!
i guess, lol. thanks

>>82086171
>you need to repair your ceiling or something?
Whole damn bathroom. Had a leak in the upstairs, inside the wall, caved in the ceiling downstairs and ran down the fuckin walls too. Just got the house too. I have shit luck I swear.

>unfortunately we are stuck here for now.
No kidding. My number will run up eventually. Trying to go down in a gunfight, but we'll see what happens.

>>82086171
>and perhaps you could see the auroras too?
Yeah, I hear the Aurora Borealis is magical up there.

>cold always beats warm imo too
Oh yeah. I'm a chubby hairy white dude, heat takes me right out. Used to be in Georgia and I wanted to die every time I walked outside.

Anyhow, what's new with you? Anything cool or especially uncool happen as of late?

>>82086171
>oh i see, i hope they're safe and sound anon.
they are surprisingly well. The healthcare in the area was already sorta meh before the war but after the nearby hospitals were bombed the local one is just overworked. As i said granpa is just stoic or doesn't want to show fear, he is a hardcore patriot after all, but my grandma has a softer mindset. Told me yesterday over the phone that even their cat and dog beg to be let inside when the sirens go or when something is flying in the area. Keeps talking about how she can differentiate what is up above from the sound alone so its getting to her too. But ignoring the mental stress the war has been surprisingly uneventful there. Well besides them receiving a pack of noodles and and an ice tea which they don't need as they only eat organic stuff. Having a big garden/mini farm is beneficial too.
>are they not letting anyone in the country or are they in some kind of restricted area?
Im also sorta confused but what i could gather from the lady that renewed my passport and from my mother the ukranian military considers people with ukranian blood valid people to pull to the front. This is disregarding that i don't have a single ukranian document and that i was not born there. Also my home country wouldn't do anything against it if i were enlisted so that is why im stuck here and can't visit them. Safely at least. I mean even if i were taken to the military i wouldn't be much use. Im not considered fit for service where i live but i guess they wouldn't care haha.
>hope you can see them soon
Thanks. Yeah as soon as this is over I'll go there. Have been visiting them every year but one(i think right after my birth) since i was born before the war. Pretty nice place ignoring the usual third world politics these countries have.

>>82086287
>Whole damn bathroom
damn that's really unlucky. it is what it is i guess... least you'll have a shiny new bathroom once everything is fixed!
>Trying to go down in a gunfight
hm, why that? do you prefer going out with a bang rather than quietly?
>Aurora Borealis
i've heard some guy had it in his kitchen...
>I wanted to die every time I walked outside.
i have no idea why im so weak to heat honestly, perhaps because i was born in a cold month, but anything over 30 degrees absolutely kills me. which is funny because the average temperature of a kitchen is 30 degrees and i'll have to work in them in the future (assuming i dont die)
>Anything cool or especially uncool happen
not really. most of the time im at home playing guitar or hitting my dumb boxing bag. i guess something cool happened but i dont want to talk about it because it makes me want to kill myself whenever i think about it. but thanks for asking.
>>82086358
>when the sirens go or when something is flying in the area
that must be so scary. always having to worry you might get bombed next, man im sorry they have to go through this anon. i really hope all this nonsensical violence ends soon.
>Having a big garden/mini farm is beneficial too.
yeah that must be a huge help. i wanna have one too if i manage to buy a house. vegetables dont get any fresher than that!
>Im not considered fit for service where i live
is it because of mental issues? but yeah, at least you're safe. hm, i dont think that the ukrianian military can forcefully enlist you considering you havent been born there, so in that regard you should be fine. i sincerely hope you can see your family soon anon
>Pretty nice place ignoring the usual third world politics these countries have
what would you usually do there? just hang out with family or something else too?

>>82085730 (OP)
>hi anon.
hello
>how are you today?
alive
>everything hurts, but it's okay. we can get through it!
i have to
> is there any place you'd really like to visit sometime?
utah salt flats, at night, when the snow has melted.
it would like like a mirror of the stars themselves.
i would want to see it at least once.

>>82085730 (OP)
>is there any place you'd really like to visit sometime?

I sometimes look at different countries online but idk. I sometimes think about Japan but I"m going to be surronded by people who don't look like me, and speak a different language and it's going to intimidate me I know. I remember i ran into a japanese person in my town and he still gave me the stink eye for staring at him. I can only imagine how much they're going to fucking hate me in Japan, maybe not worth.

>>82086614
>least you'll have a shiny new bathroom once everything is fixed!
Let's pray that it be so.

>do you prefer going out with a bang rather than quietly
Family has a history of Alzheimers. I'm in my mid 20s and due to various injuries I'm in a constant low grade pain. Not too bad right now - I can't still run, jump and roll. But it's gonna get worse. I don't feel like wasting away. And there's a lot of bad people in the world.

>heard some guy had it in his kitchen...
His hamburgers taste exactly like the ones at my local fast food joint.

>anything over 30 degrees absolutely kills me
I did not consider that you were talking about Celsius for a moment and I got real confused.

You do get used to heat after awhile. I managed three and a half years in Georgia without a heatstroke despite all the dumb shit I had to do. I still hated it though.

>hitting my dumb boxing bag
You do any real boy boxing or do you just have the bag to goof around with? I started with a heavy bag, then got into sparring with my idiot friends for a bit. Haven't done actual lessons though.

>guess something cool happened but i dont want to talk about it because it makes me want to kill myself
That sounds like it is in the decidedly uncool category. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. I have had plenty of those moments over the years.

>>82086636
>alive
so it seems! im glad you are!
>utah salt flats
wooowa i didnt even know a place like that existed. so damn cool! thats a great choice anon i hope you can get to see it at least once! im sure the night sky there would look amazing.
>>82086655
double dubs checkd
>and it's going to intimidate me I know
travelling is always scary, but it's worth all the effort in my opinion. there are soooo many beatiful things in this world and it would be a shame to never get to see any. so, dont let some random people stop you from doing what you want! who cares if they hate you. you're there and they can't do anything about it. you're free to do whatever you think makes you happy anon
>>82086787
>I don't feel like wasting away
i understand. my mindset has always been that its better to burn out than to fade away. i just hope you can get to enjoy life a bit before you have to leave.
>His hamburgers taste exactly like the ones at my local fast food joint
must be a coincidence... also that picrel is cursed.
>talking about Celsius
and i forgor ameriburgers use the overdramatic version of temperatures desu
i really do hope i get used to it, it's just painful.
>any real boy boxing
i've had a few lessons so i know the basics punches and stances n such. i'd like to get a bit more serious about it but my current life situation doesn't let me.
>sparring with friends
so you guys just hit each other for fun huh?
>decidedly uncool category
its uh, complicated. but a lot of things that would make one happy do the opposite for me.

>>82086824
>hope you can get to enjoy life a bit before you have to leave.
It'd be nice. Feels like every time I think I have something nice it bites me in the ass though.

>that picrel is cursed
Oh yeah it is, but I love collecting cursed shit.

>overdramatic version of temperatures desu
Listen here, YUROPOOR
I will absolutely cede that Celsius is more accurate and has its place within a lot of engineering and scientific applications, but the imperial system is ergonomic and works great for every day applications when one does not have access to precision measurement tools.
>Celsius
Water freezes at zero, boils at 100
>Farenheit
It's too cold to go outside at zero, you should drink extra water and wear shorts at 100. It encompasses the normal temperature range

>current life situation doesn't let me.
I ain't got the time or money to put into learning martial arts that I wish I had. Wanna learn a full course of MMA, would help me at my job I'm looking to get too.

>you guys just hit each other for fun huh?
Skindeed. Gloves, mouthguards, floor pads, try not to give each other concussions. We did BJJ and boxing.

>lot of things that would make one happy do the opposite for me
That's fair, I guess. I find myself miserable when I should be happy pretty often.

>>82086891
>Feels like every time I think I have something nice it bites me in the ass
yeah i get it everytime something good happens to me i always expect something equally bad to happen
>would help me at my job I'm looking to get too
looking to be a security guard or something like that? mma is pretty cool, i've watched some pro fights. i think i just prefer boxing more though
>try not to give each other concussions
well i guess beating eachother up and trusting the other not to give you a skull fracture and without getting angry at eachother goes to show you guys are great friends!
>I find myself miserable when I should be happy pretty often
i wonder why it's like that. i wonder why i even bother doing things if when something good happens i want to die all the same.
sorry for the dry answers but im not feeling really great at the moment and i kind of just want to turn into ash.

>>82087285
>always expect something equally bad to happen
It's just paranoia. Ignore the real and present patterns in your life.

>looking to be a security guard or something like that?
Currently am security. Trying to break into Law Enforcement. Hoping to make SWAT someday.

>goes to show you guys are great friends!
Used to be. Shit happens.

>not feeling really great at the moment and i kind of just want to turn into ash.
I fully understand that. Don't know what screws are loose in me but something is very wrong unfortunately.

>>82085730 (OP)
You don't ask another grown man how his day is going or he is feeling. You want to hold hands, kiss, and get married? I'm a grown ass man. Fuck outta here with this "how are you feeling?" nonsense.

uwaaah
baka's head hurts
>is there any place you'd really like to visit sometime?
yeah! There is!

>>82085730 (OP)
>but it's okay. we can get through it!
no its not. no i cant.

>>82086614
>vegetables dont get any fresher than that!
yeah the food my grandma makes just tastes different. I can't really enjoy the food she makes if its made with store bought ingredients. The standard is just that high.
Not just vegetables too mind you. They have chickens and my grandpa fishes and a long time ago they had basically a small zoo there with the animals they were raising. Sorta hard to imagine anyone living like that in the modern first world. Im really envious.
>hope you can see them soon
i really don't know. The draft officers are desperate and the secretary(?) when i was renewing documents quite literately told me that im on my own if something happens. My passport would be practically null and void, no support from my home country.
And in addition my grandparents just don't want me going there in general while there is a war going on. The city they live in is of no military significance but there is still plenty of activity in the air.
So waiting for the all clear it is.
>i really hope all this nonsensical violence ends soon
This may just turn into an forever war. I really don't know when it will be over. The front is the same as a year ago from what i have seen.
Thanks for the optimism however. The first three days really did look just as bleek but somehow it worked out as well as it could. Who knows.
>is it because of mental issues?
that and my body wouldn't keep up long. I guess that being a Robot has its perks sometimes.
>just hang out with family or something else too?
yeah basically. Plenty of stuff to do at their home but there is also a nice river, you can fish, a flooded quarry with insanly clear water to dive in, and generally housework and tech stuff with my grandpa. I was also in crimea just before it also got taken. Also a nice place, very pretty.
Sitting here at home is not that nice in comparison i think but at least i don't need to worry about finding someone to take care of my cats. Also grandmas pierogi!

>>82088121
>I can't really enjoy the food she make
i mean more the kinda food she makes. Not her literately making it with store bought stuff.
any imitation i try to make just doesn't work even if everything goes according to plan.

>>82085730 (OP)
how come you always make these threads at around 4 pm utc0? do you come home at that time or is it just habit?

>>82085730 (OP)
>hi anon. how are you today?
Good. I ate more then one meal today like you said and now I feel sick T_T
>everything hurts, but it's okay. we can get through it!
Why are you in pain, anon? Hope you'll feel better soon
>is there any place you'd really like to visit sometime?
Always wanted to visit Japan but ig most weebs do hehe

>>82087410
>It's just paranoia
i know, but it just feels like its something inescapable. i can't help but worry each time. especially if someone is the "good thing" happening to me, then i just think they're trying to deceive me or something.
>Hoping to make SWAT someday.
oh, i remember you anon! how is your dnd game going?
>Used to be
i see. hopefully you'll find new great friends.
>>82087609
get some aspirin anon
where would you like to go?
>>82087954
i know it doesnt seem like it but, try to believe
>>82088121
>yeah the food my grandma makes
heh its always that way with grandma's cooking. i dont have a grandma but for me its my aunt. she makes such great ribs and she also has a pretty big garden where she grows vegetables.
>waiting for the all clear
hm, i see. that sucks. having to wait without being able to do anything. hope it will all be over soon. i dont think it will turn into something like isreal and palestine simply because it's in europe and it affects a lot more nations. eventually something will happen
>has its perks sometimes
yeah thats true! im also safe mostly because if someone handed me a gun i would shoot myself in the same instant.
>nice river, you can fish, a flooded quarry
oh that seems really nice. i'd love to go to a place like that and disconnect from the city and everything. maybe turn into a plant if i can manage that.
>Also grandmas pierogi!
ahhh! im so envious!!
>>82088152
i've noticed that when i make them sooner not a lot of anons answer, and if i do them too late then i fall asleep too early and cant talk with everyone much.
>>82088247
>I ate more then one meal today like you said
oh that sucks. what did you eat? uhm, im glad you listened to my advice though! ...perhaps next time it wont make you sick
>Why
it's just loneliness and hopelessness getting the better of me. i kind of just want to die when i feel this way
>Japan
wellll can't blame you anon. such a lovely place. there's so much more than just anime stuff though.

>>82088547
>what did you eat?
Another pizza and dried mango
>it's just loneliness and hopelessness getting the better of me
I see. We all have bouts of loneliness, anon. You'll get through it, I'm sure!
>there's so much more than just anime stuff though
True, I love the culture and astetic of Japan. I'd like to go to an onsen.

>>82088547
>i know
I was being facetious. I think patterns do emerge with these kinds of things.

>remember you anon! how is your dnd game going
You know, I thought we had talked before. I have trouble remembering things sometimes. D&D is going fine. Made one of my guys get his limbs chopped off in a torture game show so I could force him to get cyberware.

>hopefully you'll find new great friends.
Indeed

>>82088675
>Another pizza and dried mango
pizzars are awesome. which topping? i didnt eat much today. a peach. i love peaches
>You'll get through it, I'm sure!
i know, but then it's just gonna come back and i have to get through it again. and again, and again, and again, and again...
>I'd like to go to an onsen.
oh i'd love to try one too. they seem so relaxing. i'd also love to check out those temples in the middle of the mountains and try all the cool tech they got
>>82089043
>I think patterns do emerge with these kinds of things
care to elaborate?
>I have trouble remembering things sometimes
you and me both anon. chopping someone's arm off sounds very metal, i approve. the machine gods are pleased

>>82089195
>which topping
Bacon, my usual
>i love peaches
Had peach juice today, peaches are nice.
>have to get through it again
Things will get better for sure. I went through simillar stuff, it does get better.
>those temples in the middle of the mountains and try all the cool tech they got
For sure. I'd also like to see the sakura blooming

i kinda feel like my head might explode because of all the thoughts running through it so fast.

>>82089407
>Bacon, my usual
can't say i've seen that here but honestly i wouldn't mind giving it a try myself! would you choose pizzas over burgers?
>Had peach juice today
yummu! i wish i wasn't so lazy and ate more fruits. but more often than not having to cut them seems like the hardest thing ever and i prefer to just starve instead
>Things will get better for sure
i really dont know. i don't think things get better. i think people just learn to live with the bad and stop caring so much. i dont really want to be that way.
>sakura blooming
ahh! that would be so awesome. i love cherry trees, but i think my favourite tree might be the weeping willow. we got a lot of those where i live and its great sitting under one just doing nothing.

>>82090046
>feel like my head might explode
Fr benzos can help with that. I'm not trying to push drugs on you, it just that it worked wonders for me.
>would you choose pizzas over burgers?
Arggg idk. Pizza?
>people just learn to live with the bad
You gotta stop squirming before you can break free
>its great sitting under one just doing nothing
Sounds lovely. Do you have a special spot for that?

>>82090046
>i dont really want to be that way.
and what do you want? to fix it all? you're buckling under your own weight and yet you dare think you can stand straight up again without dropping it? your own ignorance will be your end

>>82089195
>care to elaborate?
I legitimately believe that when good things happen, bad things tend to follow.

>the machine gods are pleased
Funny that you mention that, one of the guys in a campaign I play in but don't run is trying to become a tech priest