Thread 82098142

Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual support

It's (almost) friday :>
hang in there guys

Hello
>How are you doing today?
>Any plans for today?
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
>Why did you hurt yourself?
>Is there anything bothering you right now?

Hello
Here's a bunch of helpful links

> long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):
https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7

> first aid post cuting:
https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/

> wound care guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic

>a bpd workbook:
https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read

> bpd Information Book (anon said it's exceptionally good)
https://annas-archive.org/md5/1a4f329474320214a120a4d553c6b60c

> bdbt (dialectical behavioral therapy)
workbook is intended for BPD but can work for anyone:
https://cursosdepsicologia.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/THEDIA1.pdf

Please don't post any drastic images and if you have to, spoiler them

i love cutting myself, it makes the voice stop and then i'm alone, in front of the God of the Truth, and i understand it. life is meaningless and the only good thing i can do is killing myself

>>82098142 (OP)
>How are you doing today?
Kinda alright. Wanted to go to a concert tonight but I couldnt bring myself to go.
>Any plans for today?
Trying to get sober lol, Im absolutely shitfaced drunk rn
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
17 days ago. I relapsed after a long time of abstinence.
>Why did you hurt yourself?
My ex gf messaged me. It was her birthday and her words upset me. I tried to answer in a rational way, but after texting her back I got drunk and when she responded to my (quite reasonable) message, I got angry and said some bad things. After that everything just spiraled out of control.
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
This weekend Im supposed to go on a short trip with my dad. I doubt that my cuts will be fully healed until then, so Im really worried about how to handle this situation.

>>82098229
Hey
Are you feeling alright today?
>only good thing i can do is killing myself
untrue!

>>82098666
Hello anon
cool trips
>but I couldnt bring myself to go.
that's okay
just try to relax and have a good time anyway
>absolutely shitfaced drunk rn
I see
make sure to drink a ton of water
>spiraled out of control.
doesn't sound good
>doubt that my cuts will be fully healed until then,
can you wear long sleeves?

>>82099326
>cool trips
Oh hell yeah. As above, so below.
>I see
Oh really? Im sorry, I hope Im not to weird.
>doesn't sound good
Yes, I think tried to replace one unhealthy habit (cutting) with another one (drinking). I actually went to therapy before that happened and I really thought that I got better, but it doesnt look like it worked. Now Im feeling kinda hopeless.
can you wear long sleeves?
Sure, but the whole reason why Im going is because of a swimming comeptition. I usually go there every year because I love swimming. This relapse really happened at the worst possible time.

today really sucked, my friend probably not hates me cause I'm basically never there for him and i learned today that there's a real chance I'll have yo be put as a freshman which is 2 years behind so that's a massive delay... i just wish i was never homeschooled

>>82088544
hey cat
>they tried talking to someone so they hopefully can find some friends
yea but I didn't even try, I just was pretty much alone all day.
>like that for this whole week
okay makes sense.
>use it in the bathroom
i did that once to text my friend but i can only do that for like a second all my classes are quite far apart, and it just isn't much.
>spend all the brakes in the toilet texting
yea :/ that probably wouldn't be a good thing.
>why?
i just accidentally went to my next class instead, quite dumb.
>how does lunch work in school over there?
i guess it's just like one big room and like at 4th period some will get lunch then 5th period some others get lunch and 6th period the last people who haven't had lunch get lunch

>>82088587
>hope you'll get the hang of everything soon.
i hope so too
>it's an odd situation for them as well.
i guess, i just always feel like the weird one i can never approach people. there was this one person i was thinking about approaching but they were doing something.
>it'll be harder to catch each other that way
yea which just makes me super sad and not excited at all anymore, he's so amazing so to not talk to him sucks so bad. and i feel like a bad friend

>>82092347
just in every way really, im awful

>>82099559
>sorry, I hope Im not to weird.
on, no you got nothing to be sorry about
I just understand why you had no energy to go to that concert
>replace one unhealthy habit (cutting) with another one
it seems so
I wonder which ones worse sometimes
>thought that I got better
you probably did for a while but old habits die hard
>swimming comeptitio
that doesn't sound good then :/
how noticable are your cuts?

>>82099907
hello
>today really sucked
sorry to hear that
>basically never there for him and i
I think you're overreacting fren
it's normal to be busy and not be able to talk, I'm sure he's busy too sometimes
You're just not used to it
>which is 2 years behind
it might not happen
and of it does it might be a good thing
because without the knowledge form previous grades you may not be able to keep up
>classes are quite far apart, and it just isn't much.
how long are you breaks?
>accidentally went to my next class
heh, happens ^^
>last people who haven't had lunch get lunch
did you get any today?

>>82098142 (OP)
hey catbro!

>hang in there guys
trying

>>82099907
>my friend probably not hates me cause I'm basically never there for him
do you hate him for not being there for you?

>there's a real chance I'll have yo be put as a freshman which is 2 years behind so that's a massive delay...
it really is. :/ sorry.

>i just wish i was never homeschooled
makes sense.

>there was this one person i was thinking about approaching but they were doing something.
maybe you could ask a teacher to introduce you to other students? are there any clubs you could join?

>he's so amazing so to not talk to him sucks so bad. and i feel like a bad friend
i don't think you are and i'm sure he doesn't think so, either. you two will figure something out to make it work. don't give up.

>>82099978
>on, no you got nothing to be sorry about I just understand why you had no energy to go to that concert
Thank you
>I wonder which ones worse sometimes
Well, getting drunk is what made me loose control and relapse. There is no good unhealthy coping mechanism. I need to get better.
>you probably did for a while but old habits die hard
Yes. But what now? Therapy again? Im sure it'll help me, but once I get out of the psych ward, life will grind me down once again and I end up like this once more.
>how noticable are your cuts?
They are visible. My parents know that I used to sh so scars are probably not the problem. But they are bot fully healed yet, so the water might cause an infection.

Ive told everyone how nothing happens in my life, and that I have no reason to post. So naturally im here again because I have something to say, or maybe hear some things from here

I had to move out of my childhood house today. and in the process, I had to gather everything, which caused a lot of sadness. all the memories ive had there, it was really painful letting go. I felt at least 10% of that breakup I had again, because I remembered so many things, and I had to let go of a few too.

I dont know if I will be back in a year or 10 years. and the new place isnt nearly as good. I just now this period of my life will be hated by me in the future again

right now everything just feels disconnected, I wont feel at home for a week or more, and I will keep dreaming of that house and that atmosphere for a long time. I threw out my almost empty favorite home fragrance, because I plan on ordering a new one if I come back to that place.

>>82100450
idk why I lost the picrel but here it is

>>82100251
hey anon! sorry i didn't say hi before.

>>82100450
hey fren! good to see you.

>Ive told everyone how nothing happens in my life, and that I have no reason to post.
it's always nice to hear you're still out there, doing your thing. thanks for stopping by once in a while.

>I had to move out of my childhood house today. and in the process, I had to gather everything, which caused a lot of sadness. all the memories ive had there, it was really painful letting go.
that's a big step. of course it's sad now, but i hope having the opportunity to live your life like you want to will make up for it. give it your best shot, ok?

>I just now this period of my life will be hated by me in the future again
hope not! D: fingers crossed!

>right now everything just feels disconnected, I wont feel at home for a week or more
understandable. it'll take some time to until you have settled in.

>>82100148
>to be busy and not be able to talk
i know but it's like we don't ever talk anymore
>without the knowledge form previous grades you may not be able to keep up
true I'll be fucked either way i guess.
>how long are you breaks?
i think its like 10 minutes
>did you get any today?
i did and sat at a table with a few people and talked

>>82100159
>hate him for not being there for you?
ofc not
>ask a teacher to introduce you to other students?
idk i feel that'd be very weird :/
>any clubs you could join?
not yet soon I'll be able to
>will figure something out to make it work. don't give up.
idk I'll try to

>>82101050
>ofc not
see? so why should he hate you?

>i feel that'd be very weird :/
i suppose it would be. feels like they missed the opportunity to have a classmate show you the school.

>soon I'll be able to
what clubs are available? any fovorite?

>I'll try to
that's my gator! :>

>>82100159
heyo howbis your day going today?
feeling any better?

>>82100251
>Thank you
ur welcome ^^
>There is no good unhealthy coping mechanism. I need to get better.
that is true
>Yes. But what now? Therapy again?
if you keep going back self destructive behavior then instead of just fighting the behavior you should also find out what's making you do that
Though I know it's easy to say
>they are bot fully healed yet
I feel that after over two weeks it should be okay
how deep are they?
maybe you could find some arm sleeves for swimming? if that exists

>>82100450
Hello
thank for letting us know ur still kicking
>had to move out of my childhood house today
lots of change than
hope getting though it doesn't hurt too much
and hope you find little things to like about the new place

>>82101050
>it's like we don't ever talk anymore
what about what ur home?
how late is it over where he lives?
>I'll be fucked either way i guess.
maybe
can't know for sure
>think its like 10 minutes
your school has to be big then
>sat at a table with a few people and talked
hey good job :D

>>82098142 (OP)
>>How are you doing today?
I'm doing ok I guess, I just woke up, I hate summer >_<
>>Any plans for today?
I'll watch some more mobile fighter G gundam and maybe play some shadow of the colossus (I love that game it's one of my favorite games of all time)

>>82101465
>heyo howbis your day going today?
feeling any better?
sadly it went badly and i feel even worse. today was a one of the lowest points in recent memory. sorry i can't report anything better. wasn't going to post today, but i still did. how are you?

>>82101493
hey, d.

>I hate summer >_<
not my favorite season, either.

>I'll watch some more mobile fighter G gundam
i tried to get into gundam, but there's just much i don't know where to start. and the one time i tried i hated the protagonists of the show so much that i had to stop watching... ^^'

>play some shadow of the colossus (I love that game it's one of my favorite games of all time)
always seemed like a chill game to me. hope you have a good time. are you playing the original or the remake?

>>82101551
>went badly and i feel even worse
sorry to hear this
dif you try to call in sick?
>sorry i can't report anything better.
oh do not be sorry for that!
you better feel sorry for whoever wronged you because I might just pay them a visit >:3
>how are you?
managed to work on that project a little and played patapons
not much today
rn I'm watching a stream vod and going to sleep soon
gonna visit an optician tomorrow

>>82101551
>i tried to get into gundam, but there's just much i don't know where to start. and the one time i tried i hated the protagonists of the show so much that i had to stop watching... ^^'
I personally watched them in release order BUT I only watched stuff from the UC timeline if you're still interested I recommend you watch war in the pocket it's only six episode long (I think) and it's pretty good as for the UC timeline only the original gundam, Z gundam and char's counter attack are worth watching everything after is just more of the same and it's lame, there are some OVAs (like war in the pocket) that were really good though but everything after that was poop, mobile fighter G gundam takes place in a different timeline I like it so far it's just fun.
>always seemed like a chill game to me. hope you have a good time. are you playing the original or the remake?
I'm emulating the original, I loooove the ost of that game, I also recently replayed ico which is another game made by the same people that made sotc I love that game too! anyway here's a song from sotc that I really really like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvtEXFC0MFs

>>82101648
>sorry to hear this dif you try to call in sick?
no. i don't see the point. just a few more days to the weekend anyway.

>you better feel sorry for whoever wronged you because I might just pay them a visit >:3
only one who wronged anyone and especially me is myself. looking forward to meeting you, though.

>managed to work on that project a little and played patapons not much today
you did enough. good job.

>rn I'm watching a stream vod and going to sleep soon
which one?

>gonna visit an optician tomorrow
i should, too. my glasses are in a horrible state.

>>82101694
>if you're still interested
thanks for the recommendations. i'll check them out. o7

>I'm emulating the original
as you should. never played it, but just seeing comparisons between the original and the remake made me mad. ^^

>I loooove the ost of that game, I also recently replayed ico which is another game made by the same people that made sotc I love that game too!
it's cool you have something that brings you so much joy. and thanks for the song. i'll head to bed now, but i'll listen to it soon.

good night, everyone!

slepy tight

i hate that this was my dream and it's already ruined... and im seriously already considering just going back to the shitty homeschool and Force myself no matter what to do all the work I'd need to do, I know I'll be seviorly depressed and I'll hate life but i guess I'll at least graduate on time...

goodnight and sleep well everyone life is truly hell and there's no winning