>>82116786 (OP)
Consider the idea that maybe you grew up with a wrong idealized Disney-like idea of love and real companionship and love hardly exists if at all. On the other hand i am a virgin and dunno, maybe you got to experience it and it miss what you had, without details hard to say. Just giving my 2 cents and i wish you all the best Anon.
>>82116786 (OP)
It doesn't. Never does. If you can, try to keep busy. I fall in that hole a lot still, but friends and a good job have made a world of difference for me. Remember that no matter how bad things look there will be a way out, whether you have to wait for the opening or make one.
Try to take care of yourself, man. It's a rough ass world.