I wish I were outside, high and drunk, walking around. Watching people walk by until I get to a park, then lay down on the grass and watch the sky. Melt into the moment and think of nothing at all, just let my thoughts run and be twisted by whatever song is playing. Walk around some more looking all fucked up, dressed all in black, all alone in the park. Maybe I'd get a panic attack, but that's alright, at least that'd make me feel alive. Much better than at home stroking my junk or at an office doing something I really don't give a fuck about.
I love feeling like I'm going crazy with euphoria or terror. I also love sinking into nostalgia, to imagine I am young and I have friends, and there's a whole life ahead. I can almost hear the voices of all those people I thought would stick around.
I can taste it. Gulping a 4loko down after I'm done coughing my lungs out. Ready to party for a couple of hours before I'm brought back to a world that now is significantly worse than before I decided to buy a drink and some weed. I wish I never came down, but I'll always be back posting on 4chan.

I grew reallay tired of that lmao was a good run tho