>>82158457 (OP)
You can't go back, anon. It's not the activities alone. It was your developing brain, the environment at the time, the era etc etc.
You can only mourn the loss and seek the deeper reasons behind why those things brought you so much joy.
>>82158457 (OP)
I realized that the reason why I was so invested in vidya as a kid was that I genuinely believed that this was something important to do. Like, IDK, other kids were playing football and genuinely think they'd be like Zidane one day or something