Thread 82173081

I am tired of this. Every match I get, the girl just wants to chitchat for weeks and have "witty" conversations like we're in an episode of The Office. But if I suggest we go out? They ghost you, or unmatch instantly. I find Hinge is the worst offender of this. Those types of girls seem to flock to hinge

>>82173081 (OP)
I can't even find anyone to talk to me on hinge

>>82173097
>I can't even find anyone to talk to me on hinge
me personally, I find no value in talking to a woman who wouldn't fuck me. I would rather talk to an AI that point.

mfw you were participating in this

>>82173081 (OP)
Those are not real people. Engage in this meditation exercise with me. Look into your third eye, and out of somebody elses eyes. Your third eye is now a camera connected to a normies eyes. You are hearing the normies inner monologue. What are you seeing? What is he or she thinking? The reason this doesnt actually work is because normies arent. They dont think. Here, try asking this normie in your mind a question. Doesnt it seem like the normie could just easily answer any question? Like it just knows everything. They do, most of the planet is reading this post, which is one way to say it. Its not actually real. Thats why satan kills them in such brutal ways. He likes to show off his power over the npcs. But, it just ends up being another boring fact. Which is why satans molests us. Because, when you molest a person, it causes extreme pain.

>>82173081 (OP)
If she doesn't want to meet you, within, at MOST, the week, then she's not interested. Even having to ask her out if a bad sign since women will ask you out if they think you're hot, but you should be trying to get an in-person meeting within 24 hours of matching.

>>82173081 (OP)
>I am tired of this. Every match I get, the girl just wants to chitchat for weeks and have "witty" conversations like we're in an episode of The Office.
Not sure if bait but if you are this clueless then you had no chance with any of them regardless of what you would have said. A woman will instantly categorize you as fuckable or not the moment she sees you. They all see a friend in you and you aren't changing that. If you are in the fuckable category the woman will definitely let you know and meet you pretty much instantly.

>>82173206
I'm going to sound even more naive but why hop on these goddamn apps if you aren't looking to date/fuck? I know Hinge always doubles as a "friendship making" app but save that shit for Facebook, there are dudes who want some legit action

>>82173206
>you had no chance with any of them regardless of what you would have said. A woman will instantly categorize you as fuckable or not the moment she sees you.
I know this now. I am trying to figure out the best approach going forward. I'm settling on just being as gross and direct as possible, asking them out 1st or 2nd message, being sexual etc. That way I cut them off instantly if they just want a penpal simp

>>82173266
But it really is that sort of app. Go to tinder if you just want to fuck.

>>82173081 (OP)
>But if I suggest we go out? They ghost you, or unmatch instantly
I had a girl one time that just kept making excuses but continued to pester me over the phone, I ended ghosting her after the second refusal with no counter proposal. She was going through a divorce or some shit so maybe that was my fault for even trying.

>>82173266
To a woman, attention is as valuable as sex is to men. She's getting validation that she is attractive. So, basically, she gets what she wants out of it while giving very few men what they want out of it.

>>82173489
That's just an excuse she made. If a woman thinks you're hot, they will make a meeting and sex happen no matter what. If you look a certain way she would get up and leave her own mother's funeral for a chance to lick your ass without a moment's regret.

>>82173987
Are you on dating apps anon? How's that all going for you

>>82173081 (OP)

stop letting women use you as an emotional tampon. cut the shit right away and ask her if she wants to go out ASAP. do it organically but don't wait weeks or even days.

>>82174007
Not anymore. I'm tall, white, in decent shape, and make a ton of money but since I could only rarely get matches and even more rarely first dates (And never second ones), I correctly concluded that there is something innately repulsive about me to women.

I did spend a month or three chadfishing, though, which is how I know what women do when they think you're hot.

>>82173081 (OP)
I exclusively have shitty mirror selfies on all my dating apps for this reason. I also start conversations with a simple "hey how are you" every time. This type of behavior will filter out the women that are actually interested in you and the ones that just want to chitchat or get attention. You're right about the hinge thing though, at my peak I was going on 1-2 dates a week for about three months with different girls each time using tinder. I have been on one single hinge date, and got maybe 30 matches over the 3 years I have been on the app.

>>82174026
What is it about you that skeeves women out so much? Are you Autistic?

Got any good chadfishing stories for us?

>>82174055
Men by default are considered creepy by women. It's only when a man has certain physical traits that he is no longer considered creepy, so, it must be my looks.

>Got any good chadfishing stories for us?

The last one I remember was chatting with some girl for a few hours who reported that she was crying irl because I was so attractive because I would never want to be with someone like her.

The one that got me to quit though was some very attractive girl that must have had some demand that she be bought dinner on her profile. So I kept calling her a whore and asking what the difference between her and a whore was if they both demanded money for their company. I just kept getting nastier and nastier with her but she never unmatched me and always responded pretty much instantly.

Beyond that, the deluge of women sending ME first messages that were requests for sex, their phone numbers, or their addresses.

While chadfishing was the most important thing I've ever done because, really, how was I supposed to know how women behave around attractive men? Before chadfishing I thought women were just flighty and indifferent to men in general but chadfishing taught me that, no, it's just towards ugly men and that if you look a certain way, women are far more aggressive than men because they can get away with it.

>>82174093
Sorry, I meant while chadfishing was one of the most important things I've ever done, it ALSO mentally broke me. Everything I had been told about women was an absolute lie. That was most of a decade ago and I haven't recovered.

>>82174093
For your sake, I wish Chadfishing vids were more popular ~10 years ago, cause they're all over YouTube now and they've opened my eyes to how this shit works as well. Do you think you'll ever date?

Anon, I'm running into a lot of the same shit, for me it's been a recent trend.

2024, 2023, and 2022 were no problem when it came to meeting people, setting up dates, and getting laid. But this year has been difficult as hell.

Lots of people wanting pen pals, attention, and the odd chick just looking for a fun experience at my expense; camping and shit like that while barely knowing me.

I don't know if it's my age bracket, 28 turning 29 soon, or simply a slump this year for connections, or even the demographics in my region. I really don't know what it is, but it is happening.

The only solution out of this is really other apps, or meeting people through communities/events/random public interactions. I'm really only seeing serious success out in public, but I live in rural area so I don't leave often.

I don't know, anyone else got ideas?

>>82173081 (OP)
Hinge is the only dating app that has height as a requirement. So naturally whores so on there to fuck 6 ft + chads and waste everyone elses time

>>82174143
I would love to date again but unless I get the courage to start blasting roids and get plastic surgery, probably not. Besides, it is apparently creepy for guys in their 30s to date women in their 20s now and since I am absolutely never going to be someone's stepdad, that means I am shit out of luck. My only real dream is to sock enough money away to vanish somewhere into the wilderness and not have to have a job. Not because I want to be isolated but because I don't like being reminded of what I could never have.

>>82174157
It is simply the market. As regulations decrease in a market, there are more losers but the fewer winners tend to win bigger. This means more women for Chad and fewer for all other men. You see this trend in economics all the time, so, you are just not measuring up as competition for women grows more fierce.

>>82174206
Do women get this feature for free? It says I have to pay for it on all the apps I'm on. But I've long since thought women are getting extra features just to keep them on the app longer. I can't imagine a (decent) woman paying for Hinge+ or extra Tinder features. But I can see them getting ways to limit the amount of likes and notifications from undesirable men. It's overloading for them.

>>82174093
I think you make a great point here about how readily people with throw themselves at a very attractive man, but you're not seeing the forest, just a single tree. I know, you saw the way your chadfishing went, it's real.

The demographics in the majority of these apps are scaled grossly towards men, there are like 5 to 12 guys per women, and already most women don't use online dating apps. So it's a small sliver of ladies on there that your using for your point, it's not enough people to paint all women, even within your region.

Trust me, most women aren't like this, but the ones obsessed with status or looks, sure, you saw it, but they aren't everyone.

Dating apps aren't here to help us, so don't let that colour your entire perspective.

>>82174299
From what I can tell from looking it up they can see your height for free as part of your profile. Do men have to pay for it? Fucked up if true

>>82174323
I know they can see heights for free, but I wonder if they can actually limit the people who match with them to be, say, 6ft minimum. That way their matches will always be at least that tall.

>>82174241
I don't get how regulations and economics work in this idea here, but Its not chad getting all the ladies, necessarily.

The demographics on these apps are skewed heavily towards men, so there are very few women on here, and then you have the sheer volume of likes women receive being another issue.

Let's say you are trying to find your match just through people that liked you alone, you're going to have to wade through 1000's and evaluate each one, but most people aren't even going to move through a big chunk of that in any reasonable time.

You are more likely to get buried in the mountain then even be seen.

Couple that with the sliver of women that are on these apps, it's a sliver of a silver within your own region alone too, so it's a real small collection of people. Most folks are not out chasing Chad or Stacy in public irl, nor are they bending over backwards for them.

But yeah, it's obvious very attractive guys, or folks with manufactured profiles will do well, but it's not the larger reality when you're meeting people in everyday.

A pretty face only last so long, and personality is way more important, why else do you think you see all these assholes, thumb looking mother fuckers with pretty ladies when you're out? Because they talk to them, because they interact with them at some event, it's not just looks.

>>82174308
No, I was seeing the forest because here are my two experiences. Tell me which one you think seems better:

1. Women never express any sort of attraction for me when they see how I really look.

2. Women throw themselves at me when they think I look like some random hot dude.

No matter how you cut it, #2 is better. No woman ever expressed interest in me like they did when I was Chadfishing. Ever. I can see how dating would be fun if it wasn't an entirely unequal interaction like it is for most men. The best way I can describe dating for men who aren't Chad is like trying to find a low wage job. Every employer can treat you like shit (and will) because they've got 500 resumes on their desk to replace you if you don't like it. You have no leverage. And, besides, MOST women use online dating at some point. There are fewer of them on there because the average woman doesn't need to be on there long. The average American woman who is like 5'4" and 170 lbs makes a profile and within a day or two she's got a few tall dudes with six packs on her roster, so she deletes her profile.

>Trust me, most women aren't like this, but the ones obsessed with status or looks, sure, you saw it, but they aren't everyone.

If that were the case, then I would have experienced female interest at some point in my life. I didn't. So I have zero reason to trust you. Dating apps aren't here to help us BUT tinder is an objective measurement of your attractiveness to the opposite sex because it removes every other variable in the equation. A woman doesn't have to worry about physical danger by rejecting you on Tinder. There is no social cost to doing so because she's doing it privately. She can't really see your income or anything like that. It's a simple "Is this guy physically attractive or not?"

Tinder may not be here to help us but it IS helpful to know how women think of you, and you can't really do that without using it.

>>82173206
>Not sure if bait but if you are this clueless then you had no chance with any of them regardless of what you would have said. A woman will instantly categorize you as fuckable or not the moment she sees you. They all see a friend in you and you aren't changing that. If you are in the fuckable category the woman will definitely let you know and meet you pretty much instantly.
As an average looking guy, you will blow your chances with a girl if you come off too strongly. Your chances are already low to begin with. The chitchat stage should just be a test if she keeps responding to you, no matter how boring you are.

>>82174393
>I don't get how regulations and economics work in this idea here, but Its not chad getting all the ladies, necessarily.

Because sex is a commodity like any other. We can even put monetary prices on it. What do you think prostitution is? Since it's a commodity, why would market forces behave any differently with it versus any other commodity? Chad absolutely is getting the women, at least for sex. Women may have to settle for relationships with non-Chads later but, frankly, I think the men still lose out in that case.

>why else do you think you see all these assholes, thumb looking mother fuckers with pretty ladies when you're out?

I could go on dates with 10/10s as much as I wanted... so long as I am willing to pay. If I'm not willing to pay then those women don't want to interact with me in any way. So it doesn't matter if I want to talk to them.

>>82174393
>Because they talk to them
It's not really that simple either, usually these guys are gregarious and have a lot of friends and women want to "share" in their social clout. You aren't going to sell someone a car they don't want no matter how personable you are.

>>82174428
Anon, you are using your experiences from strictly Tinder to build your entire position here, Tinder is a very small collection of people and not statistically big enough to really build any analysis. This is some serious confirmation bias.

Like I said which you failed to account for, these folks are a silver of your community, and they are getting mountains of likes/messages. I look at my friends inboxes and it's completely unmanageable for them, you are more likely to be buried in it. And then they are experiencing their own fatigue with shit matches, awful messages, and then they even take breaks from it.

Couple this with the fact we have no idea what your profile even looks like, how well composed your photos are, we are entirely reliant on your own anecdotal reporting.

Seriously, go look around a college campus, go visit a bar, walk around a major city and you are going to see women and men of varying attractiveness with partners who are gorgeous, look like thumbs, down to swamp hags.

Fuck man, I've seen dumpster tier men pull absolute baddies because they tried, and these guys had no money, but could string together a bit of conversation, and went out into the world to meet people.

Heck, I've worked with some fine men who are the spitting image of greek statues with woman who are surprisingly average compared to themselves.

Most people are not motivated by strictly selfish interest in looks or status. Seriously, get out there and talk to folks, make small talk, join a club, go to events that interest you.

But don't do it with the sole purpose of getting a date, anyone will smell that a mile way. Make some good conversation wherever you are, and if the vibe is right, shoot your shot, but if their isn't any chemistry in the conversation don't bother and move on to the next opportunity.

I won't discount your personal experience with women showing you interest, but dating apps are not here in our favour and have their own internal rankings

>>82174710
>Anon, you are using your experiences from strictly Tinder to build your entire position here

No, I am using my experiences from Tinder AND real life.

>not statistically big enough to really build any analysis.

Why not? A brief search yielded that Tinder has almost 8 million active users in the US. That's not a small sliver of people.

>you are more likely to be buried in it. And then they are experiencing their own fatigue with shit matches, awful messages, and then they even take breaks from it.

Oh boo hoo lol. Rich people have it so hard!!!

>Couple this with the fact we have no idea what your profile even looks like, how well composed your photos are

Do you need to? You should be able to tell with my results that I am not attractive to women. If I was, then why do women not treat me like they treat attractive men?

>But don't do it with the sole purpose of getting a date, anyone will smell that a mile way. Make some good conversation wherever you are, and if the vibe is right, shoot your shot, but if their isn't any chemistry in the conversation don't bother and move on to the next opportunity.

Already tried. Guess how many dates I got out of it. The answer is zero. I used to be a fairly social person when I was younger. Women didn't seem any more interested in me then than they do now.

>I won't discount your personal experience with women showing you interest, but dating apps are not here in our favour and have their own internal rankings

No, dating apps are perfectly fine. They work for attractive men and they work for women. They don't work for guys who no one really wants anyways.

>>82174469
Seriously, share in their social clout? What is this, highschool? The world is way too large for that to matter.

Man, most people are average, how else do you think your mom and pop shot you out?

But I hear you, no one is going to buy a car if they aren't interested, and you shouldn't rely on building a good rapor to build romantic interest, though it happens occasionally.

Work on your small talk skills, build some hobbies that get you exposed to others, become a regular somewhere local, do trivia night at the pub, attend events that you like and talk to people.

Trust me, the world outside these apps is pretty forgiving.

Be a Canadian for a minute and take a couple shots at the net, strike out a bunch, but you'll score a few goals.

Looks are important, let's never ignore that, but there are a few things we can do to help ourselves. A good haircut, a bit of fitness, and social skills past just being a boiled lobster. Seriously, when I am out and about, I talk to every mother fucker, I stumble on my words, I make mistakes, but it gets easier and sometimes theirs an opportunity to ask a girl out.

Don't let tinder or apps be the sole definer of your self worth and understanding of the world, because it's only a narrow slice at the end of the day.

And trust me, the terminally online are the only ones saying not to approach in public, but who are they other than morons who don't interact with the general public.

>>82174758
Get outside more, talk to more people, and build some people skills. There are things we can't control for like being bald, having scars, or being a bit meh in the looks department. But we can tweak that with a fresh outfit, and a bit of fitness.

Regardless of that, I'm sorry, I don't know you well enough to really make any other suggestions, and I can't make a serious analysis without it.

But average ladies are struggling just like you out in the world, I've been on a night out with a group ladies that are all ranging from a solid 7 to a solid 9, and even with being their wingman, a lot of the guys I talked to already had girlfriends, or just weren't that interested in them.

It's a game of odds. Sure, they're drowning in matches, Mr le rich people reference, but it's the sheer volume that's the killer, doesn't mean they are quality matches or likes either. Seriously, people at large are not as shallow as you think.

And women aren't some amorphous blob that are a hive mind, there are over 340 million Americans, a far cry from 8 million users spread across the 4th largest country on earth. Not exactly a great pool to use, especially in your 100 mile radius, it's only a sliver of people in your area that are even using these apps.

Hell, not everyone on these apps is even sincerely using it for dating. Lots are using it for validation, improving their social media following, then you have bits/catfishes which narrows down the pool already. It's just not a large enough clump of people to use for washing whole demographics like you are.

From the sounds of it though, you don't sound like a fun person to be around. You're consistently negative, you used to be social, and you're defining everyone based largely around your commentary on dating apps. You sound terminally online.

Go outside and be part of your community, the odds are in your favour.

>>82174710
Dude, stop. Who are you kidding?

>I look at my friends inboxes and it's completely unmanageable for them, you are more likely to be buried in it.
That's a reflection of real life. Women can have their pick of the litter in the apps and in real life, and they'll pick based on physical attractiveness. Next time you go outside, observe young couples, particularly the guys, and compare them to the those young guys walking through the street alone. That's what you ironically recommend, but have you actually done so yourself?You'll quickly notice the difference in height and looks between guys who're with girls and the guys who're alone. Older couples do not count, because stability becomes more important with age than attraction.

>Most people are not motivated by strictly selfish interest in looks or status.
That is extremely naive.

The main thing is this: dating apps are NOT divorced from real life. The women there are not from Mars, they walk through the city like everyone else. Dating apps are a reflection of real life dynamics.

Think of it like this: a doe pick the stag with the biggest antlers, peahens pick the peacocks with the most extravagant tailfeathers. Humans are no different, the primitive instincts still drive us. Appearance always comes first, personality comes second.

>>82173081 (OP)
This was my hinge experience a few years back, a lot of joking back and forth seemingly good conversation with interest and then instant ghosting. They want attention

>>82175005
Your entire position is based on the assumption that dating apps are a mirror to real-life, your entire view is structured from a screen with a sliver of your region even on your apps.

You're relying on the results from apps that are designed to build sales, and matches, not connections. These organisations do not measure success from relationship outcomes. They are here to keep you on the product dude, it's entirely confirmation bias.

And yeah, I do go out, I go to my buddies weddings, i see my colleagues partner's, I've lived abroad and traveled. And you know what, some of them married women who I thought were not up to their looks, and some women married men that left me scratching my head, but it's way more nuanced than looks and status alone.

Looks and personality go hand in hand, we all make compromises when it comes to partner selection. Men are not lining up at women's doors for them to swipe left or right on them, bitches have to go out and talk to people too.

>>82173081 (OP)
My problem with Hinge is that the girls will lie about being single moms or having a boyfriend or being extremely obese, moreso compared to Bumble. Like they KNOW these things are deal breakers and then they just think I would say "Oh you marked yourself as not having children, but in actuality you do! Golly I will still give you my time and money so I can get a whiff of your rancid beaten up pussy."

Imagine constantly having a bombshell in the chamber like i have by being a 34 year old kissless virgin who never had a gf while working as a beloved massage therapist for now 7+ years.
And by every passing year, especially as i will look alittle better by losing weight and improving some other things to come, the bombshell just keeps getting bigger.

At any point in any conversation i could spill it all and just destroy someones worldview or many peoples worldview at the same time with so little effort as just simply stating the truth, like i do here online.
Thats disregarding the fact that i already fake a more loud, extroverted personality when im outside my house.
I have explained this to my family that i feel bit sorry i dont have the energy to express myself like i do at work for example. Even though those at work deserve my enthusiasm, love and friendliness much less than my family.

They have accepted it though which im happy about since they atleast get the real me when im with them. I have stated that i do love them even if I dont express myself that much.
All in the name of preserving energy to use at my work as to be liked, for the purpose of pleasing customer, for the purpose of pleasing the boss, for the purpose of keeping my job.

With great power comes great responsibility.
I have never seen a vagina IRL and I never will.

>>82174453
>I could go on dates with 10/10s as much as I wanted... so long as I am willing to pay.

Nigga, the world is not that transactional, you, just like everyone other motherfucker wants to be understood, wants to be cared for, wants to feel seen. Why else do you think chicks flash their tits on periscope, stickman, Omegle, or date assholes? Because someone talked to them and paid them attention. Fuck dude, go to any con, and you'll see pretty average guys following around absolutely baddies in cosplay.

Datings apps are a slim margin of people and are not representative of most folks, and it's obvious no one here works with the public because you'll are acting like women are a hive mind.

You got to approach these problems like the armed forces, we are taking multiple approaches here numbnuts.

You got to hit yourself first with things you can reasonable set up like outfits, hair cuts, attitude, and skills.

Then you have to actually be outside, you have to talk to people, and you have to go places where you are going to meet people, and if you can score a few friends, maybe they'll introduce you to people they know.

>>82174093
wow, of course some communist lesbian tranx gay faggot retard already made an entry on wiktionary with this word:
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Chadfishing

>>82175117
Research and real life observations back this up, what more do you want? It is not only dating apps, it's everything. People tell you to look at couples outside, but that only proves the value of appearance above all. People tell you about their unattractive acquaintance who has no problems dating, but will not mention the caveats that tend to be always there.

Research (that comes both outside and inside dating apps) backs up the value of attractiveness above all, real life backs up the value of attractiveness above all, dating apps back up the value of attractiveness above all. What more do you want?

Do your friends get a lot of matches because of their great personalities or because they're pretty young women? Why are men thought of as shallow while women are not, despite that across the animal kingdom, females are the selectors and they select by looks?

>women married men that left me scratching my head
Tell me this: how many men do you find physically attractive from those you see day-to-day? It's not many at all, right? The same is not true for guys. For you, attractive men are rare, and that makes them all the more valuable and desirable, while unattractive men are common and undesirable. A note I'd like to make here is that I never hear comments like this from guys about women in relationships. Another thing is that being in a relationship doesn't have to mean more than your partner tolerating you. It does not imply true desire, which personality cannot invoke and which is reserved for those genetically blessed.

>Looks and personality go hand in hand
Looks and the perception of personality go hand in hand, that is true. When a person looks good, they're assigned all sorts of positive personality traits, while the opposite is true for ugly people. It's the "halo effect", or "pretty privilege", and it's well documented by research.

>>82173081 (OP)
Lol stop wasting time with that. I message them like a handful of times and then ask them out within like a day. If they're actually interested they will agree quickly.

>>82174393
>I don't get how regulations and economics work in this idea here, but Its not chad getting all the ladies, necessarily.
This is true. You have to keep in mind that dating apps are like 80% men, possibly more depending on your demographic. And women get hit on in person as well. They can be as picky as they want, even based on arbitrary standards like proximity or hobbies. There are a lot of reasons a chick wouldn't be interested in a guy besides the guy being too ugly or boring (although that's also possible)

>>82175154
Hey, I get you, similar situation but close to 37, anyways, not same job but instead a nerd programmer, at least looking Ok for my age and altogether more on the side of handsome.
Develop some hobby or hobbies or activities (should take 2-3 weeks to stick): running, gym, reading/studying whatever you prefer, go to learn to dance just to be in physical touch and see some tits from close distance, etc. And don't stop the activities so they keep you busy and in a positive loop where your whole demeanor and confidence feed each other and you just go through life feeling more and more powerful. Just try few months.
Also, stuff like this: >>82175267 , that is, approach it as some sort of enterprise that will need some systematic effort and push, from easier stuff to heavier artillery.
Also, just psychopathymaxx: having not so much else to lose, just go ballistic in the spirit of that book "the subtle art of not giving a fuck", essentially the chadfishing of the previous comments but not over text/profile but in real life, just lie and pretend to be whatever you think is some chad-like behaviour

>>82175002
>From the sounds of it though, you don't sound like a fun person to be around. You're consistently negative,

Yeah. And I became that way after I tried dating women. I wasn't always this way. But I think becoming that way once you realize that generally speaking most of what you were told about the world and everything you were told about women was a self-serving lie.

>>82175267
>He apparently doesn't know what prostitutes are lol

>Then you have to actually be outside, you have to talk to people, and you have to go places where you are going to meet people, and if you can score a few friends, maybe they'll introduce you to people they know.

No they won't because the only people who want to hang around guys who don't get women are guys who don't get women and women who are looking for orbiters.

>>82175435
>Also, just psychopathymaxx: having not so much else to lose, just go ballistic in the spirit of that book "the subtle art of not giving a fuck", essentially the chadfishing of the previous comments but not over text/profile but in real life, just lie and pretend to be whatever you think is some chad-like behaviour

Doesn't work. I tried to induce psychopathy in myself by spending months watching hours and hours of stuff on liveleak to remove any sort of empathy I had for anyone. Didn't work.

>>82174428
You said you are tall, white and I assume pretty normal looking.

I have the same problem, it's still not easy even though I don't have any particularly bad traits.

But what is it that these "hot" "chadfishing" profiles have that make it so easy? Incredibly ripped? A certain look?
If it's that easy for your fake profile it must be incredibly attractive in some way. What is it?

>>82175610
Their facial structures, they are ripped, likely they have better hair. But I think the facial structure is the main component. Women melt for a strong jawline.

I think the facial structure is important but your overall body structure and your physique are also requirements, too. A woman will never be attracted to you unless you have broad shoulders and a six pack.

>I have the same problem, it's still not easy even though I don't have any particularly bad traits.

Consider this. EVERY woman on there has access to men who, not only have "no particularly bad traits" but have all of the required good traits. So why would they settle for you when a dumpy 170 pound American girl can hook up with dudes who should be modeling in Milan?

>>82175610
>But what is it that these "hot" "chadfishing" profiles have that make it so easy?
These guys are model-tier face-wise. Sharp jawlines, hunter eyes, great skin, broad shoulders. Being ripped doesn't matter if you don't have the face, but it does boost your attractiveness if you do pass the looks threshold, and the guys used do tend to be lean.

>>82175361
Brother, if attractiveness was the sole factor in dating success, all the socially awkward fucks with autism and gorgeous faces/bodies would be swimming with ladies and never be single again.

Also, research backs this up? Yeah, if you cherry pick your studies and rely on the tiny demographics of dating apps to make an assessment then totally, but all you're engaging in is confirmation bias.

An attractive captain autismo isn't swimming in ladies. Again, and you keep doing this, you are using dating apps exclusively to evaluate the world and showing how terminally online you are, do you even have friends that are women? Women on dating apps are not all women, they are a sliver, a wafer thin mint if you will.

Of course some people are immensely shallow, lots of people are, men and women alike are equally capable of that.

But women and men are not some amorphous blob that you can wash in whatever colour you like. Motherfucker, women have been flashing their titties online and dating losers the world over because someone payed them mind and attention. Looks certainly help, but it doesn't sound like you even bother talking to people in public, let alone women outside of apps.

And to be honest, my friends, they're okay looking. They struggled the most with having quality matches, sure there are numbers, but it doesn't mean the person on the other end is a good fit or conversationalist. Some are also immensely attractive which helps in getting those likes even quicker, but these ladies still have a check list just like everyone else and have things they like or dislike. Attractiveness isn't a one size fits all.

Past attractiveness you need chemistry, you need shared values, shared interests, and and a connection. Otherwise sitting pretty and staring at each other isn't going to do much for you. Sure, being pretty helps you get laid, but not everyone is out here exclusively looking to shag, and this assumption is murdering your premise more.

>>82175467
You got hurt, and I am sorry for that, sounds like you've had a real hard time. I wouldn't blame anyone for building a negative perception after repeated negative interactions and disappointment.

You met some shitty people, got your heart broken maybe got abused, I hear you. That's why you take a break and sort it.

But that's what therapy is for, and talking shit out.

Then you get right back into the game when you're ready. But all you're doing is moping, complaining, and being miserable. Who wants to deal with that? I don't want a fixer upper, and neither does she.

Also, buddy, we are talking about dating, not prostitutes, if you want to monger, that's a whole different topic. Completely irrelevant.

>No they won't because the only people who want to hang around guys who don't get women are guys who don't get women and women who are looking for orbiters.

Then go join a club, a sports team, and meet people. Make some connections, get out there consistently and eventually you'll have a few acquaintances that might turn out into an invite. Or maybe after a DND or rugby session you might grab a couple of drinks with the crew, who knows. But if you don't go out and fix that chip on your shoulder, nothing will change.

>>82175435
This is what I am trying to beat into these obtuse fuckers, they are sitting in here moping, but you gotta get out there and do things.

>>82175935
Talking shit out doesn't change the fact that I can't get laid just like it won't fix anyone who is miserable because they're poor. I've gone to therapy. My problem is I don't get laid. The therapist can't help with that. Maybe things would be better if I got laid or maybe they wouldn't, but I know for sure that not getting laid will make me miserable.

>Then you get right back into the game when you're ready. But all you're doing is moping, complaining, and being miserable. Who wants to deal with that? I don't want a fixer upper, and neither does she.

No one does, but no one wanted me before that either. The only difference is that now no one bothers trying to take advantage of me so, really, being a bitter asshole has its upsides.

>Also, buddy, we are talking about dating, not prostitutes, if you want to monger, that's a whole different topic. Completely irrelevant.

You said women weren't transactional but clearly they are. Women themselves don't deny it because they love to talk about how men don't make enough money for them now. I don't want to monger. I want a woman to be genuinely sexually attracted to me. I don't want her to put up with sex because I've got money or because I've got a decent personality. Nowadays, I want to be attractive so I can treat women like women treat most men: by using and discarding them until I decide otherwise. You can't have an equal relationship with a woman until she is as replaceable to you as you are to her.

>Then go join a club, a sports team, and meet people.

Again, did that but didn't result in dates or sex. Nothing will change if I don't do something else, you're right, but nothing changed when I did all of that. This means that not doing so is not my problem.

>>82175657
So basically the top 1% or .1% of guys haha.

I mean a lot of girls are still fuckable for other guys it just takes way more work and trial/error

>>82175644
>A woman will never be attracted to you unless you have broad shoulders and a six pack.

Brother, muscles and abs in general look great, but they aren't talking, they aren't approaching, you are. It helps to be in shape, but I don't see too many swimsuit models walking around, they are a rare breed.

Women and men alike are not that shallow to strictly require muscles and abs for dating. If you're average, great, that'll help, if you have a nice body, that'll help too.

But if your personality is dog shit, you aren't getting past the next few hurdles.

>170 pound American girl can hook up with dudes who should be modeling in Milan?

Eh, I think you're giving the dating pool way too much credit, man. Most people, men and women aren't holding out for a supermodel. Looks matter, sure, but connection, timing, and compatibility count for more than you're making it sound.

>>82175841
> all the socially awkward fucks with autism and gorgeous faces/bodies would be swimming with ladies and never be single again.
That is true, you gotta pass the minimal social skills threshold as a guy, which a lot of guys with autism do not pass. But they're a relatively small minority compared to the general pool of men.

>Yeah, if you cherry pick your studies and rely on the tiny demographics of dating apps to make an assessment then totally
There is no cherrypicking. Please, provide me a study that proves me wrong. There is a wealth of research proving that looks > everything else, but I've never seen someone provide a convincing study that says personality is more important than looks. At best, you're gonna show me stated preference, which is not the same as revealed preferences.

>An attractive captain autismo isn't swimming in ladies.
I sorta concur. It depends on how his autism affects him. Some autistic guys are just a little quirky to the general public and do fine, but it isn't nearly all. Autism can absolutely neglect the value of your face and height, but that doesn't mean your attractiveness doesn't benefit you still.

>Of course some people are immensely shallow
But when it comes to relationships, most people are shallow. Physical attraction is what separates a friend from a partner.

>But women and men are not some amorphous blob that you can wash in whatever colour you like.
There are some large trends. In general, for example, people can agree what is conventionally attractive, and those that are conventionally attractive do very well in the dating world (given that they're not severely autistic if men).

>And to be honest, my friends, they're okay looking.
And that's the thing, most guys find even okay looking women attractive. Swap an average guy for their female equivalent and they instantly become desirable. It's just easier to be attractive as a woman.

I'd like to respond to more, but the post is near the limit already

>>82176129
Women absolutely approach men but not if you don't have abs, broad shoulders, a strong jawline, and so on. If they don't approach you then why do you think they are at all attracted to you?

>Women and men alike are not that shallow to strictly require muscles and abs for dating.

Of course not. But if you want the woman to actually want to have sex with you rather than to have sex with you because she wants something else and the sex is the cost she has to pay, they are required.

>But if your personality is dog shit, you aren't getting past the next few hurdles.

Why would I want to date someone who isn't sexually attracted to me?

>Most people, men and women aren't holding out for a supermodel.

Most men aren't, no, because the market will swiftly show them it isn't going to happen. Women, on the other hand, get to sleep with these dudes all the time.

>>82176058
>so I can treat women like women treat most men: by using and discarding them until I decide otherwise. You can't have an equal relationship with a woman until she is as replaceable to you as you are to her.

Brother, you have some seriously unhealthy ideas and perceptions about reality that are completely false.

You need to talk to more women and get off the internet. You are waay too online. Women are not like that, some are, you can usually spot those types pretty quick though.

But there is very little between men and women outside of physical appearance. Women just like you and me all have hobbies and interests. They want to be understood, loved, cared for, feel attractive, and seen just like you do.

They aren't some brutal hive mind of shallow users.

You need to work out these negative thoughts loops and ideas longer in therapy to really shatter these wild assumptions.

what is the point of using dating apps if you're not good looking?
no matter how much time and effort you put into winning over a woman, the one who ends up stealing her attention is a handsome guy who doesn't even care about her

>>82176200
>Brother, you have some seriously unhealthy ideas and perceptions about reality that are completely false.

That's what women did to me and based on what I saw watching people, that's what they do to others. But what I said is true: you can't have an equal relationship with a woman unless you can replace her as easily as she can replace you. It's what the zoomers call "a power dynamic". It's no different than how low wage jobs treat their employees. The employer can replace the employee easily but the reverse is not true, so the employer can and will treat the employee badly.

If I'm going to have a relationship with a woman, it will be an equal one. I have no desire to be under some woman's power.

>You need to talk to more women and get off the internet.

Again, I became this way only after I tried dating women. It was not something I just developed out of nowhere. I believed women were different than they were until I interacted with them which quickly corrected my ideas about them.

>But there is very little between men and women outside of physical appearance. Women just like you and me all have hobbies and interests. They want to be understood, loved, cared for, feel attractive, and seen just like you do.

Okay, what's your point? They can want to be understood, loved, cared for, and so on but also be absurdly shallow people who behave in instinctively transactional ways. Men, if they aren't the same way, SHOULD be the same way. We should demand women treat us well. We should demand women do things for our benefit if they want us to do things for their benefit. We should hold them accountable for the bad things they do to people.

>>82176230
A few things used to work for me, but it's been a while, and it seems the apps have only gotten worse, and with onlyfans hoes it's only gotten harder

I used to do a few and just glance over profiles and send messages about something in their profile or make a joke, or at least show I have a sense of humor after a few texts then try for a meetup.

Worked alright, but it seems a lot of these apps won't even let you send a message anymore unless you match which sucks

>>82175154
Are you only interested in women of your own race?
If you're interested in Asian women or Latinas, you could have a girlfriend tomorrow. You're a good-looking white dude, and I've seen countless vlogs of uglier white guys dating beautiful women in South Korea or Japan.

>>82176275
this isn't much different from the future in spielberg's ai
in the dating market, almost everything is already quite predictable
if you're average or even below average in appearance, you have no standing in the online dating market
you're just a nobody, even in cyberspace

>>82176263
I've been in the same shoes as you have. I've been mistreated by women, I've been physically abused by a women, I've been cheated on by women, I've been ignored by women.

And it sucks, but those are just random individuals, they don't make up the whole. And assuming that those few bad interactions mean that all women are like that is completely absurd.

Sounds like you kept deliberately chasing after shitty people, or you got a bad draw. You need to reassess what you're after, and recognise that they are not everyone.

Women and men are the same beast, we are all sums of unique experiences, and different upbringings.

The reason you are single is because of your unhealthy ideas, your consistent negativity, and you're resignation in society.

Instead of getting back up again, putting in the work, and pressing forward, you decided to die in the fucking trench.

And instead of doing something about your position, you're simply going to blame the people that hurt you, and assume wrongly that 50% of the population is some kind of hive mind.

Get out and interact with more people, and seriously work through your struggles with a therapist instead of just internalizing all of this and projecting this twisted reality. It's obvious that you sit all day online and consume the same negative shit that only reconfirms your biases.

>>82176389
That's why you got to take a multifaceted approach. You got to work online, and in real life meeting people.

Whether you're part of a social club, joining a sports team, going to the same pub, visiting the same coffee shop, these are all opportunities to interact with people and maybe make a few friends that might invite you out to meet their friends who likely have ladies in their life that would like to join.

i got 1 like it was from some uggo ham beast
too old for this shit , just want a plain girl as waifu material

>>82176482
This is true, but at the same time it's so hard to find girls who are out by themselves, and in an approachable position.

I mean I guess you could go up to anyone and ask for their number and hope for the best.

But it seems like a struggle just to find a girl to chat with now, unless you get lucky but to play the numbers game it has to happen often.

>>82176453
>And it sucks, but those are just random individuals, they don't make up the whole. And assuming that those few bad interactions mean that all women are like that is completely absurd.

All? No. But enough of them are that it's best to assume they all are until proven otherwise. Also importantly, I realized that they don't treat ALL men like this, just ones they do not find sexually attractive. So, I'm waiting for a woman to treat me like they did when I was chadfishing. I expect I will be waiting a while but that's the only way you can tell if a woman actually is attracted to you.

>The reason you are single is because of your unhealthy ideas, your consistent negativity, and you're resignation in society.

So how do you explain that I was celibate before I had any of that?

>Instead of getting back up again, putting in the work, and pressing forward, you decided to die in the fucking trench.

My goal is now to educate other men to the realities of women and how they think of us. Society is based on the lie towards men: "If you behave and make money and be a good person then women will be attracted to you." and "Female attraction does not work like male attraction because women are attracted to things like kindness, character, and intelligence."

Without that lie, it all falls apart and, since it's a lie, it should fall apart. I want men to know what I wish people would have told me when I was young. If they had sat me down and told me, "Anon, you're ugly so it's likely no woman will ever want to do anything with you" then I would never have bothered with things like a career.

>And instead of doing something about your position

The only thing left to try that I haven't already to improve my position are steroids and plastic surgery, and I haven't worked my way up to that yet.

>>82175154
>At any point in any conversation i could spill it all and just destroy someones worldview or many peoples worldview at the same time with so little effort as just simply stating the truth, like i do here online.

That edge certainly isn't going to help you. Sounds a hell of a lot more like somebody feigning intellectual badassery because they know how to string together a few scathing insults.

In all honesty, you got the looks dude, but faking who you are out in public and wearing a mask isn't doing you favours. If you're going on dates, your fake persona is going to fall apart real quick after a few weeks.

You could probably stitch together a few good photos, write a decent bio, and have some success online. But your personality has got to line up with that in person.

As long as you aren't some edgy condescending person all the time like you sound, you could probably have some decent success out in public from a variety of opportunities.

>>82176535
My goal is now to educate other men to the realities of women and how they think of us.

With a basis built on never having had a girlfriend, having no female friends, and not interacting with the general public.

So all you're going to do is just continually reinforce these negative ideas that you keep consuming online, and letting a few bad interactions colour your world perspective.

You don't see women as unique individuals, you see them as this amorphous blob, like they're a colony of ants

>Told me, "Anon, you're ugly so it's likely no woman will ever want to do anything with you" then I would never have bothered with things like a career.

I don't know who you were in the past, I don't know what you look like, I have to take your word for it. But what I do know is that right now in the present you are miserable and everyone's going to see it.

Yeah maybe you are ugly, maybe the cards are stacked against you, but there are ugly thumb, looking motherfuckers dating beautiful ladies and average ladies all over.

The least you could do for yourself is to actually build a personality that people want to be around, do things that bring you joy, and try to take care of yourself physically so at least you get a leg up, maybe dress a little nice.

But from everything you've said here, you don't do a goddamn thing, you reinforce the same negative ideas by sitting online all day, you aren't part of any teams or any social groups and you aren't interacting with the public in any way. Who wants to be with some terminally online loser who also looks like a thumb.

The least you could do is be the best self that you can be and throw away these ridiculous assumptions on 50% of people.

>>82176507
Groups are really scary, but I've gone up a few times, maybe with a little liquid courage and you know what her friends told me I was bold and brave. I felt pretty good.

But I chatted her up as best I could, and ended up getting her number and a kiss on the cheek. All I did was introduce myself, complimented her on something that I liked about her, I usually try to do something that she's chosen unlike things that you're born with, and asked her about what she's into and kept the conversation flowing.

And sometimes I hit up one of the girls in the group and let them know that I think their friend is really cute and I'd love to talk with her. Some girls will gladly be your wingman, and others will be gorlock the destroyer.

You're right though about the opportunity to approach, the context of the situation really matters. I don't think gyms are really the best place for it or clubs because of the loud music.

But keep working at it, you'll never know until you try.

I found the best opportunities were at conventions, karaoke nights, and festivals. Because unless you're working at a coffee shop or having to regularly go through the city on foot, your opportunity isn't too great otherwise.

If you can, get one of your buddies to come with you, always good to have a wingman.

Just a few days ago, there was this group of girls that were across my buddy's campsite, and I really wanted to talk with them, so I looked around and found them at the beer tent listening to music, and introduced myself to them. My buddy being there was a big help to add some noise to the conversation, but as your friends wandered off to go do something else and my buddy did too, one of them stayed by to talk with me and I asked her for her discord to game sometime. I don't know if she has a boyfriend or not, and I don't know if her friends are single, but this is an opportunity and maybe she can introduce me to her friends.

Carpe diem!

>>82176642
>With a basis built on never having had a girlfriend, having no female friends, and not interacting with the general public.

Yes. And? If you know what people don't like then you, logically, must know what they do like.

>So all you're going to do is just continually reinforce these negative ideas that you keep consuming online, and letting a few bad interactions colour your world perspective.

Nearly 40 years of life is not a "few" bad interactions. I can think of one woman in my life with whom I do not regret ever interacting. That's it.

>You don't see women as unique individuals, you see them as this amorphous blob, like they're a colony of ants

It doesn't matter. I used to but women still didn't want me. Even better? I could be a complete dickhead but women DID want me when they thought I looked a certain way, so, that can't be the problem. But, really, people's actions and thoughts CAN be generalized. It's called statistics.

>The least you could do for yourself is to actually build a personality that people want to be around,

I had one in the past. I had friends (even female ones). Women didn't want me for anything beyond that, though, so I was still quite depressed over it.

>Who wants to be with some terminally online loser who also looks like a thumb.

Again, no one does. But no one wants to be with a person who tries to be decent, social, and upbeat but who also looks like I do. If they did then they would have but they didn't. So if my shitty personality now didn't make any difference how is it the problem? Do you understand the basics of the scientific method?

>>82176855
>Do you understand the basics of the scientific method?

I have a bachelor's of science in computing and mathematics. Statistics is one of my favourite fields of study.

But what you're doing has nothing to do with science, what you're describing has nothing to do with science.

Your position is based off of confirmation bias, tiny slivers of the people using dating apps, and making assumptions about 50% of the population. You also have no meaningful data collection.

>But no one wants to be with a person who tries to be decent, social, and upbeat but who also looks like I do. If they did then they would have but they didn't. So if my shitty personality now didn't make any difference how is it the problem?

All I have is your word, considering that you've decided to resign and hang your hat, that says a lot more about you than what you're saying about others.


>But no one wants to be with a person who tries to be decent, social, and upbeat but who also looks like I do. If they did then they would have but they didn't. So if my shitty personality now didn't make any difference how is it the problem?

Showing up online as a supermodel, matching with women who that supermodel would typically not match with, being a dick to vulnerable people, and basing everything off of that tiny interaction isn't science and neither is it meaningful data collection.

Lots of people are thirsty, lots of people want to fuck, and if their dream boat showed up and wanted to fuck them, most people would probably leap and be willing to put up with some shit.

You see the same behaviour in awful relationships where people stay despite how shitty it is.

At the end of the day, you weren't doing yourself any favours, and I doubt that the kind of person you were back then was somebody people would want to be around. Considering your 40 years old and not meaningfully involved in your own community or society at large, you probably weren't then either.

You need therapy.

>>82177018
>But what you're doing has nothing to do with science, what you're describing has nothing to do with science.

You change a variable and see what happens. That's pretty basic. If you change a variable and nothing happens then you can generally conclude that variable had nothing to do with the outcome.

>Showing up online as a supermodel, matching with women who that supermodel would typically not match with, being a dick to vulnerable people, and basing everything off of that tiny interaction isn't science and neither is it meaningful data collection.

Oh no those women had a man be nasty to them on the internet. So terrible.

>Lots of people are thirsty, lots of people want to fuck, and if their dream boat showed up and wanted to fuck them, most people would probably leap and be willing to put up with some shit.

You're right. The problem is people like you seem intent on claiming women are different. Female sexuality is exactly like male sexuality, except for one difference: while most men find most women sexually attractive, women find almost no men sexually attractive. But both men and women behave the same around people they do find sexually attractive.

>At the end of the day, you weren't doing yourself any favours, and I doubt that the kind of person you were back then was somebody people would want to be around.

If people didn't want to be around me then why were people around me, willingly? That makes no sense. I was absolutely involved in the wider communities I lived in back then. I believed in stuff like charity and being kind to people. But women showed me that it's better to look out only for yourself, so, that's what I did.

Besides, you seem to have internalized the just world fallacy. Bad things happen to good people all the time. Bad things happen for any or no reason.

>You need therapy.

Therapy won't result in women finding me sexually attractive. If it did then why haven't they?

this bro just posting walls of text now
just give up clown nobody reading that hsit

>>82173206
Yes but some people don't want to just fuck.
I don't want a fuckbuddy I want a relationship.

OP, try to specify a date that's not going to be ending in sex or whatever.
Also a number of women are anxious neurotic wrecks and the idea of meeting IRL before they're ready makes them spazz out.