Thread 82190041

genuine OCD like the real kind not quirky personality trait is the worst mental illness i hate being alive so much i hate existing i hate having sensory feelings

>>82190041 (OP)
>quirky
>>82190041 (OP)
>existing

oh, deal with it. find an outlet.

t. also have ocd

>>82190041 (OP)
high dose SSRIs can help with OCD, particularly fluoxetine. I understand you may be worried about going on SSRIs but they are generally a safe medication and any side effects are probably better than living with OCD.

>>82190055
i haven't tried fluoxetine but 3 others for extended periods and they all hit me like bricks my head felt like cement it was really unpleasant

>>82190091
you're supposed to start low and go slow, but regular pain killers should help with headaches. they go away after a week or two.

>>82190120
i don't rlly mean headaches and i ramped up my doses properly like doctor and later psychiatrist said
it's the feeling of not being myself, like a zombie. its distressing to me

>>82190041 (OP)
I find it goes awful with lonliness. I have a vivid imagination, it basically turned into psychosis. But when I brought more people into my life, that brought in more reality, really made me better!

>>82190041 (OP)
You're probably right. Can't be easy having a brain that fucks with you like that.

>>82190041 (OP)
I wonder if normies constantly feel as clean as I do after I compulsively wash my hands.

>>82190041 (OP)
I have OCD too, anon. It used to be a lot more extreme though... I'm sure it's different for everyone, but in my particular case, I was able to reduce how much anxiety my triggers gave me through what essentially boiled down to my own D.I.Y exposure therapy.

If you want to try, we could talk about it... and I could maybe give you some tips on how to potentially help yourself.

I have OCD too, anon. It used to be a lot more extreme though... I'm sure it's different for everyone, but in my particular case, I was able to reduce how much anxiety my triggers gave me through what essentially boiled down to my own D.I.Y exposure therapy.

If you want to try, we could talk about it... and I could maybe give you some tips on how to potentially help yourself.
I'm not a therapist or anything... but mine used to be quite bad (maybe not as bad as yours) but I found some success in my attempts to fix it a little.

TMS might help a lot if ur treatment resistant

>>82190041 (OP)
oh boohoo, i'm a schizo with BPD
>mood swings on the hourly, one hour i'm ecstatic and the next i'm experiencing suicide ideation and visceral visuals in bed
>talk with the fictive in my head as self-therapy, can't go outside to talk to a real one bc trust issues
>can't hold a single friendship, have zero friends both irl and online
>anytime i DO manage to make a friend, i obsess and cling over them and stalk their accounts for information
>either that or i just literally don't know how to talk or start a conversation, as i don't interact with humans much outside of online anonymous posts
>every friendship i've had in the past 3 years have ended explosively after days/weeks of obsessing and e-sex attempts cause me to feel jealous and worthless when not reciprocated or acknowledged
>feel like everyone has faulted me
>then the next hour i'm happy and feeling fine again
i'm also not on any meds, as a matter of fact i have an addictive personality
this also runs in the family
my only solace is taking care of my body, i'm at least not overweight or unattractive
but i also don't eat much so