I literally cannot stop ghosting men. it genuinely may develop into an uncontrollable reflex at this point.

Are you actually interested in them?

>>82193758 (OP)
You're probably using them as short-term entertainment, like chatbots. Many such cases.

>>82193758 (OP)
A: you are a bad person toying and wasting other people's feeling and time.
B: you self sabotaging yourself by having high standarts or to much fear to stick to one man.

What ever it is you need to stop or work harder. If you go whore go full whore if you go wife go full wife...

>>82193767
Yes i just dreamed about them today so clearly my subconscious is working in ways I don't want it to.

>>82193784
Nooooo... I want a bf but I need to be absolutely 100% certain they like me.... and are a good person... and not evil........

>>82193934
i really dont want to toy with people intentionally like i actually dont want to be a shitty person... but i cant help it. i think you are right, the fear of making "the wrong choice" is holding me back from having something serious and beautiful....

>>82193940
i cant tell you how to find a good or not evil man but you as a woman has all the tools to find ANY men you want.
Man want to be needed and being praised for there help. All you have to do is not scaming them out of there time and feelings.

>>82193966
This was. quite motivational. i needed that.

thank you anon. i hope u have a good day today

>>82193955
good first stap. knowing your flaws is the start and overcomming is the end.
Why you think you holding back?

>>82193758 (OP)
>tfw no ghoster gf

>>82193935
Are you afraid of rejection or commitment then?

>>82193982
you wellcome... solong you know what i ment with the tools.
Despide public view on the roles on men and women, women are like all female animals the "passive" one. The only thing you need to be is "fertile" looking. Aka having some redeeming body or even character features. Beliefe it or not some men are into smart women that are able to keep up with them.

>>82194001
>spooky gf is best gf!

>>82194019
>tfw no clammy skinned ghoul pale gf with weeping sores and gangly limbs that crawls around in the dark eating whatever unfortunate things get caught in her clawed hands

>>82193758 (OP)
picrel is my dream woman tying me up and raping me

>>82193758 (OP)
Vice signaling is stoopid hey everyone look how much of a bad person I am teehee

>>82193984
i am a perfectionist so i think i really want to make sure the person i pick is truly someone i can see myself dying with. im not picky (dont care abt height or money) but if im serious about someone i go HARD (id like to think) and i will go to crazy efforts to show it (get good job to pay for everything, move to diff country, etc).


>>82194005
I think rejection maybe, im a little avoidant but not afraid of commitment at all. I am an extremely obsessive person.... but someone with ungodly powerful strength has to get deep under my skin to see it.

>>82194013
yeah i know i am quite attractive and i have decent prospects, money. Im also young. im not an average fembot at all but i have all this love and no one to pour it into. it seems like all the cups are out of my reach. I do genuinely appreciate the advice though. I don't think i am a passive person at all but yes i want babies. I take care of little kids/volunteer all the time so i know i have quite the maternal instinct.

>>82194174
I love avogado's art for this reason, it conveys a level of obsession and deep attachment thats cathartically fucked up. but it resonates with me anyway. as long as it was consensual, this would be my ideal relationship.

>>82194272
yeah. this board is a cesspool. are you seriously gonna pick a fight with me instead of the slampig spammers though?

>>82194830
>if im serious about someone i go HARD (id like to think) and i will go to crazy efforts to show it (get good job to pay for everything, move to diff country, etc).
Wow you sound perf-
>but yes i want babies
Pass, next

>>82194830
>think rejection maybe, im a little avoidant but not afraid of commitment at all
Damn I feel that one in my soul. I haven't approached a single woman since my divorce but I wish like Hell I had someone to be real clingy with. Issue is that the number of women who number of women I would like and the number of women who would like an autistic divorced dad in their life is probably a fat zero and I'm afraid of burdening someone by asking them out.

You know in specific what scares you so much about getting involved with a guy? Are you afraid they'll respond negatively to you being obsessive? Did they do something to upset you that you then fixated on?

>>82194857
hey just cuz i said i WANT babies and take care of cute kids doesn't mean im actually gonna have them. If you're not anti natalist at this point, you're not reading the news.

>>82194931
nah, im not dumb. id like to think i am very good at hiding how obsessive i really am. I am the type to not message back for days but still monitor your every move in my bout of silence. I think i just fear choosing to go knee-deep with someone. Once i make that decision, where im like "Yeah this is the one" there is no backing out at all. Like i won't let that person go.. EVER.. if it would ever hypothetically get to that point.

>>82195166
>Once i make that decision, where im like "Yeah this is the one" there is no backing out at all
Well if I can offer advice, try to work on that. I overcommitted hard to my first relationship and now I'm alone and probably staying that way for a very long time, if not forever.

Sometimes it's best to know when to cut your losses.

Do you have any theories on why you ghost dudes? Anything you might want to seek help for?

>>82195166
>doesn't mean im actually gonna have them
Maybe you have a sliver of a chance with me then, I don't know. How obsessive exactly are you? Would you build a shrine out of your obsession's hair and bodily fluids? Would you mix your blood with theirs and put it in the ground so they could never leave?

>>82194830
>im serious about someone i go HARD
and yet you seen to do to much and scare then away or to little/wrongly.
odd to say this after in part admitting to toy with men to test the water.
Did you consider to just brute force it with one man that is 50% of your checklist?
also
>i have decent prospects, money
men dont care unless they slackers or scammers.
>I take care of little kids/volunteer all the time so i know i have quite the maternal instinct.
that sound like a good start to meet. Many problems nowday is the start of a relation ship.
No luck there?

>>82193758 (OP)
You're a bitch who ignores the feelings of others and thinks they're the victim the entire time. You've led on countless men by now and then ghost them, only to say it's because you're so heckin vulnerable and caring and special :'((.

>I am a whore
Surprise Suprise

Ghosting is really rough to deal with speaking from the other side. Especially when knowing a single phone call would clear everything up.

>>82193758 (OP)
what's the point of simply ghosting? you're supposed to make them suffer first in horrible ways for being filthy moids that deserve all the suffering in the world

>>82195198
I appreciate your words of wisdom anon. it seems like no one has made the right decision. i will work on it, but i worry i constantly "cut my losses" even when its unsubstantiated. I hope you find your right person. and i think the only way for me to overcome this is to find the right person, someone so precious to me that i cant possibly give up on them early.

>>82195207
i cant get into how obsessive i am without leaking my personal methods but its bad. i genuinely enjoy observing people and finding out things i shouldn't know. when i like someone. I need to know everything. But i should clarify i am not looking to date anyone rn. I gotta fix this problem of mine before i actually hurt someone else.

>>82195698
i physically CANT do the brute force method, it makes me overthink and i always end up just crashing things into the wall. i literally cant stop cutting people off. and each time i do it, i do it quicker. like an addiction...
i want to be someones mom, even if its lowk a grown man. i have a lot of care to give but.... i have overwhelming fears it will bite me back in the future.

>>82196018
Thanks for the honesty. I do agree its a really bad habit. I don't believe in therapy and i don't really think any of my IRL friends understand how i think like this. Hence this thread. I do want to fix it though. I genuinely want to stop but its sort of a pattern I can't interrupt.

>>82196066
Thanks for sharing your side. If you don't mind me asking, if someone disappeared on you for months, but then called one day suddenly, would you pick up? Would you be angry? Or more so open to an explanation?

>>82196074
No. Even though trolling retards can be kind of fun, I never want it to snowball into actual emotional trauma. That just is bad karma. I'm really trying to lead a clean life now.

>>82196287
>That just is bad karma
torturing moids is always good karma though

>>82196287
I would pick up. If I didn't it would be because I simply missed the call and would hope she didn't misinterpret that as rejection.

Her voice and how she feels matters to me. It always has. All I've ever wanted is that If there was ever an issue that we would talk if out and understand each other completely. No one is perfect and if I'm in the wrong then I want the opportunity to grow with her. I feel she would want the same with me.

>>82193758 (OP)
You really remind me of my ex.

It's important to me that she helps her word. If she says I need x number of days space (knowing that distance and silence typically leads to mispercievements, assumptions, build up of anxiety of recontact)that after x number of days she calls back. Or if she says that she will do something, then she follows through and does it or calls me and talks to me about what her difficulty she is having.

When it comes down to it, I care about her and want to work it out with her. My feelings for her and how I see her has not changed and it's been 4ish years.

Unfortunately it's muddied because someone here started feeding her lies and poison about me so they could take advantage of her.

$1 (US) that the OP has already left the thread

>>82196245
>appreciate your words of wisdom anon
It's a lesson I learned the hard way.

>constantly "cut my losses" even when its unsubstantiated
It's a hard distinction. Part of love is vulnerability, and you have to be willing to get hurt if you want to care about someone and let them care for you. But it's also discretion. Once you know someone a bit better there are going to be moments where you have to decide to end it or press on, and you have to really think about it.

Put aside social pressure. Put aside extraneous circumstances and consider "do I love this person, and does he love me back?" If you can confidently answer one way or the other and know you're right, then you know what to do. If not, then you really need to have a talk with them about the state of things and what the future looks like. So try not to bet on "just knowing" when you meet someone. These things take time and wisdom.

>hope you find your right person
I don't know if I even have hope for that any more. I appreciate it though, anon. And I wish you well in your endeavors.

>>82196335
This was super insightful, thank you for answering. You have a very kind heart. I am sorry for these unfortunate events that have come across in your life.

>>82196347
I apologize.

>>82196403
Nope. You owe me a dollar now. Send!

>>82196245
>I do agree its a really bad habit.
I didnt say that you have a bad habit I said youre a horrible person, which you are, and now youre reframing the situation again. Just a victim huh?
>I genuinely want to stop but its sort of a pattern I can't interrupt.
You can. You have free will. You simply dont see a good enough reason to stop. It feels good, you like it, and you dont really care about others enough to stop. And at the end of the day, you will seek pity on your implied uncontrollable condition because you only care about yourself.

>>82196644
>You have free will
source. do you have a source for that?
science says free will is a myth, so i'm going to need you to back this up with a source.
where is it, the source i mean?

>>82196245
>I gotta fix this problem of mine before i actually hurt someone else
Just talk to people who are fine with being ghosted until you get used to talking in general. I'll talk to you, I don't care at all. People come, people go, such is life. I've had people ghost me and come back, we just keep going like nothing happened at all.

>>82196644
If you can read you can clearly see in thread I know my actions are wrong and I want to stop it so I can be more accountable. I haven't played victim because I've over and over admitted wrongdoing. It seems like you're taking out your anger on someone who treated you similarly onto me, which is fine, but not productive. Not gonna keep replying to your accusations but I hope you receive closure.

>>82196618
I press on because I do love her. I choose her over all else and anything that tries to take us away from each other.

What if this were their 13th reason why

>>82196828
Just be careful with that mentality. I held it for a good few years, and was hurt very badly for it.

>>82196866
I do hurt badly. That hasn't stopped. But I love her and I won't give up on her. On us.

And if she opens her heart to give me a single chance to prove that I'm real then she will know that.

>>82196018
Bruh, some people on this board are so retarded
A women can do the shittiest things possible and some anons will still find a way to sympathize with her for the pussy

>>82196758
You're distancing yourself from your actions whenever possible, but sure.

>>82196908
I encourage women to do shitty things because I find it funny and I'm a complete misanthrope

>>82196245
>i literally cant stop cutting people off.
>i want to be someones mom
you notice yourself that this isnt a good combo.
Did you try to ask an AI about this? I could go armchair psychologe here and asume (most likely wrongy) that you get easly bored of people or fear that if you dont leave then quick they will leave on there terms. Being dumped hurts more then dumping others and if you ghost them they never have a chance to tell you anything (good or bad).
If you just want to have kid... burn the coal but i asume you want the classic nuclear familie right? What is your tipe of man you imagen to be good for you?

I can sympathize with you OP and am proud of you for recognizing what you are feeling and taking accountability for it. Self-sabotage is really easy to do when you have past trauma and unhealed wounds. My ex did that to me and I am also prone to cutting off the limb if I see that I have a scratch.

>>82196697
I don't think anyones fine being "ghosted" truly, some people just learn how to take it better than others. I don't want to minimize my actions in the proccess of trying to unlearn them. Thank you though anon. I admire your resilience.

>>82197345
AI? Oh fuck no. I don't wanna get psychosis. I've been thinking the best thing to do is seek out someone as mentally ill as me so the deficits are mutual.

>>82197698
Thank you. I really appreciate your comments and its reassuring to hear I'm not the only one who behaves like this, even if it isnt right.

>>82193758 (OP)
i ghost people a lot too
its just so much easier
im late to reply to someone so i feel guilty. then that guilt makes me avoid them. then poof theyre gone

>>82197853
Personally, i think 24/7 access to us through the phone, virtual communication and online dating has cooked us all.

>>82193758 (OP)
>>82197853
just more proof that giving smartphones to women was a mistake.
you were never supposed to interact with some many different men on a daily basis. before smartphones, only prostitutes interacted with the amount of men on a somewhat personal/intimate level. you're frying your own brain and you will regret it in the future.

This thread sucks, revealed all the evil people
Mean people don't deserve sympathy.

>>82198127
Theres a lot worse you can be than mean.

>>82193940
men are encouraged to be evil because kindness just means being weak and a pussy

>>82198118
I don't think this is a gendered thing. Men were supposed to see maybe three or four pairs of tits their whole life. Now the average man has probably seen a thousand. No one was supposed to have convenient 24/7 access to intimacy.

>>82198206
No.... men with hidden bad intentions terrify me. I want someone with a true good heart.

>>82193758 (OP)
Would you ghost me if we talked and hung out, OP?

>>82197812
>I don't think anyones fine being "ghosted" truly
Oh I definitely am. I like being ghosted because I usually need time alone and getting ghosted gives me that.
>I don't want to minimize my actions in the proccess of trying to unlearn them
What you need to learn is how to be comfortable with a person rather than how to not ghost someone. Ghosting is just a defense mechanism, the root cause is anxiety or whatever. Moralizing the action will only make it harder to fix because you'll end up with guilt and such which will make it more difficult to overcome the anxiety

>>82193758 (OP)
Is this another chickn thread? You've ghosted me at least 3 times over the years.

>>82196287
>>82198439
>No. Even though trolling retards can be kind of fun
>No.... men with hidden bad intentions terrify me. I want someone with a true good heart.
lol