Thread 82209670

me sometimes i fantazize about killing myself and blaming it on someone that wronged me in the past just to make them feel bad. they probably wouldn't give a shit though

I daydream about restarting my life from age 4 with all the memories i have

>>82209670 (OP)
I'd never do that because the kind of people I want to hurt would laugh about it instead.

>>82209670 (OP)
>what are your delusions
sometimes i picture myself married to a girl i love and who actually loves me, who never leaves me be for too long and who spoils me as much as i'd spoil her
and i imagine us in all kinds of romantic or funny scenarios, all the way from our times as friends through our couple life, then as parents, until we're old wrinkly people

>>82209697
who are your enemies?

At the end of the day, I still think things might get better, sadly.

>>82209702
do you have a tulpa by any chance

>>82209670 (OP)
i dont know what my delusions are, isn't that WHY they're called delusions? because if i knew i was delusional about something i'd stop it immediately and realign myself with whats true

>>82209711
no, but i have vivid dreams and a rich imagination
pair those with a desire for companionship and you get why i torture myself like that

>>82209670 (OP)
Living as a neet forever and having an extremely hot yandere partner that spoils my fat neet ass

>>82209670 (OP)
i have primarily 3
>me dying
>me living a dream life
>imaginary world that i created, with dragons and shit
Depends on the period i think about one more than the others. The saddest one is the second one

>>82209670 (OP)
I want to slay mercilessly every single one of the pedophile, satanic elite who deliberately target me to ruin my life!

>>82209670 (OP)
it's faggy, but i spend a lot of time daydreaming about explaining why i'm an incel and how over it is for me to friends/family. i guess i'm an attentionfag to some degree, but at least i hold back irl.

>>82209702
hahaha, this is so fucking brutal. i'm on the same page as you. isn't it funny how our greatest cope/delusion/daydream, that we know we will never attain no matter how much we want it, is just something normal fags get, just by being normal fags? it's so prepostorous.

>>82209704
some guy perpetually living on 9000 layers of irony and a thoroughly medicated schizophrenic who only liked me before his diagnosis

>>82209670 (OP)
people are gambling on everything I do
>is he going to piss or poop in the toilet rn?
>how many breaths is he going to take in the next minute?
>let's give him stomach pains and see if he cries

>>82209767
a lot of the normalfags don't live out this kind of life, for better or worse
too many failed marriages and devastating breakups going on out there, a normalfag's life is another kind of hell entirely
i'm not sure if it's worse to fantasize about something so unlikely to happen or to try and fail catastrophically like a lot of them do

usually me saving people i used to care about or being in a loving relationship with a girl i used to love. I try not to because i get scared people will read my mind

>>82209753
Have you tried blogposting?

>>82209777
That's not a delusion, though. That one's real. One of the other guys lost everything.

>>82209670 (OP)
Either I go back in time to about 2012 and convince my ex to not go into the chairforce, thus she wouldn't be my ex anymore, she wouldnt have been raped, she wouldn't be a single mother, she wouldn't be fat, she wouldn't be disabled, she guarded a shack in Wyoming for 2 years until she realized she was pregnant then go honorably discharged so shes considered a "veteran". The other option I fantasize about is murder suicide with her. I need help...

>>82209753
that hits so damn close, its scary o__o

I am very close to divinity yet the closer I get, the more isolated I become, as people are generally unwilling to hear or see the truth of their lives as it would bring them great discomfort - even if their actions continue to destroy the world.

In the end, all I can do is watch. I do not attach myself to the outcome.

>>82209743
just imagine slaughter those entitled fuckers who think they are untouchable and soooo superior, or make them eat their own guts just before slit their throats LOL. that would be really sick dont you think so