Thread 82212315

>see friend for first time in years
>go out and eat with him
>the night's great and I react with vigor
>feel nothing inside

>my mom's sister dies suddenly
>sitting in the wake of her funeral
>everyone there is crying and grieving
>except me, I feel nothing

>sitting in bed trying to jerk off
>the sensation is rather dull
>peak and reach orgasm
>feel nothing but exhaustion from the orgasm

>eat good food I like
>it tastes like it's well made and everything
>feel no pleasure at all from eating

>go out drinking
>see an old amazing friend of mine
>I am ecstatic in behavior, cheerful and excited
>the alcohol masks this, but
>inside I still feel nothing

what is this affliction? if I can't feel this world, I see no reason to even be in it. It's like I'm on autopilot. It's like there's nothing really in me, just a husk walking. I don't want to live like this, even if I'm not miserable anymore, it's just emptiness.

>my pp doesn't salute women anymore
>on a whim, decide to go on a date with a faggot
>have gaynal sex in the ass
>complete ecstasy; I am reborn

>>82212315 (OP)
>laying on couch reading schizo post while coffee brews
>feel a bad feeling deep in my gut
>pressure builds more
>peak and release pressure
>stinks like shit

>>82212434
anon just wear the diaper already

>>82212315 (OP)
>achieve something i've been working on for years
>just feel relieved it's over
I feel you anon, I'm worried it'll never get better, sorry I can't give any advice but you're not alone in feeling like happiness has left your life

>>82212456
god that reminds me I had felt a lot of nothing too when I made my first lump of money on a big job. I became 15k richer and it still felt so bare and like nothing. I hate that.

>>82212315 (OP)
I know those feelings. Some upperclassman died when I was in highschool and all the students were crying over it. I just sat there wondering why people were sad. Family dog got put down and didn't feel anything. All my grandparents and my dad died, and I didn't feel anything after each either. For me, I think it's because I hate people like no other and understand that death is inevitable.

>>82212315 (OP)
>>82212691
It's called depression I know cause I had it

>>82212730
>implying I've been depressed for 21 years
No, I simply hate people and find them to be retarded and illogical. What the fuck will crying do when someone dies? Nothing, it's better to immediately move on with your life. I don't understand why people refuse to do the most logical thing in situations.

I feel you. At some point I stopped getting excited about plans coming up, a new video game or movie being released, vacations, xmas, summer...
Now there's two categories for me, things that will make me worry and things that will not. I try to dodge as much responsibilites and problems as I can.

I know how you feel. Anhedonia is a real bitch