HI chat.
Recently i went on speed dating event. I am 37m incel, never had a real date, like date date in my life.
So stumbled on such events and just decided to go. I think because i wanted to prove to myself that i can go there.
I was surprised how calm i was and how smoothly i went through without fumbling. I chickened out in my life (and recently too) from much less social pressure. But with this i decided i just need to go and "went eyes wide shut" so to speak. Completely dissociated from what i am doing feeling like i am in 3rd point of view RPG game. Its not me, i am looking at some character actions from outside. I was curious when that character would turn back. And he didn't. Exposure therapy works. 14 years ago i was true hikikomori who would faint if gets in such event. More practically just run away at approach to such place. But now i just went through. Cheated a little drank 2 shots of whisky right before event (yeah read alcohol drinkers laid more, i am a good drinker so lets put that in use huh)
Nevertheless that is completely diffident me comparing to the past. Decade of employment and talking to people slowly but surely works.
There was 15 girls, 12 men. And girls were not that bad, just one 2 (fat), 2 girls like 7, and rest are 5-6. I wouldn't recoil from fucking them i think. Before i thought it would be very bad.
I put like to 5 girls, 3 of them liked me back, and i got their phones from organizers according to rules. Interestingly that no girls that didn't get my likes liked me back. I issued likes as serious business for marriage, rejecting girls that outside of my reach by formal criteria. Like there one girl much higher than me and another of my height, not gonna work. Fitness bunny of perfect shape, i am out of shape, not gonna work. Business woman with obviously very high income, not gonna work. Something like that.
Recently i went on speed dating event. I am 37m incel, never had a real date, like date date in my life.
So stumbled on such events and just decided to go. I think because i wanted to prove to myself that i can go there.
I was surprised how calm i was and how smoothly i went through without fumbling. I chickened out in my life (and recently too) from much less social pressure. But with this i decided i just need to go and "went eyes wide shut" so to speak. Completely dissociated from what i am doing feeling like i am in 3rd point of view RPG game. Its not me, i am looking at some character actions from outside. I was curious when that character would turn back. And he didn't. Exposure therapy works. 14 years ago i was true hikikomori who would faint if gets in such event. More practically just run away at approach to such place. But now i just went through. Cheated a little drank 2 shots of whisky right before event (yeah read alcohol drinkers laid more, i am a good drinker so lets put that in use huh)
Nevertheless that is completely diffident me comparing to the past. Decade of employment and talking to people slowly but surely works.
There was 15 girls, 12 men. And girls were not that bad, just one 2 (fat), 2 girls like 7, and rest are 5-6. I wouldn't recoil from fucking them i think. Before i thought it would be very bad.
I put like to 5 girls, 3 of them liked me back, and i got their phones from organizers according to rules. Interestingly that no girls that didn't get my likes liked me back. I issued likes as serious business for marriage, rejecting girls that outside of my reach by formal criteria. Like there one girl much higher than me and another of my height, not gonna work. Fitness bunny of perfect shape, i am out of shape, not gonna work. Business woman with obviously very high income, not gonna work. Something like that.
