Thread 82239700

I've been suicidal for so long, I have come completely apathetic to everything. I care for nothing, I do nothing, It's as if I am a dead man walking

>>82239700 (OP)
Your life is a page in a book. It can be filled with whatever you choose- be it success or apathy or misery. But remember that you made those choices. And you had better make peace with them before you an hero

same tbqhwy lad
i wish i liked things other than bedrotting

>>82239737
dumb nigga his life was determined from birth. some are destined to be losers to be laughed at.

>>82239764
Predestination is cope for niggas that don't want responsibility

>>82239700 (OP)
>dead man walking
Mmmmmmmmmm badd ass. Wouldn't wanna mess with you.

>>82239700 (OP)
>I care for nothing
Sounds to me you're attention whoring, so you do care about something

>>82239780
it is true. you were predestined to sick dicks with your butt for instance.

>>82239700 (OP)
Welcome to the club
>>82239737
What an annoying holier than thou idiot. This isn't a book, it's a videogame, and if you're not interesting enough you're not the main character

I'm not even suicidal anymore because I realized I don't have the willpower for that after over of a decade of suicidal thoughts, it was just an escapist fantasy. I just feel nothing.

>>82239818
A videogame is a resettable simulation where actions are inconsequential. Life is more like a book.

i have blunting of my emotions right now and disinterest, anhedonia sexually and for activities that are normally enjoyable. something like fps i have to be relaxed and keep my interest focused on in order to build up the chemicals in my brain it produces in order to feel good which takes a few matches or more. ordinarily id be having fun pretty quick. lot of people go through depression episodes once or twice in their life. there's ways to traverse it and normally clinical depression alleviates on its own without medication. i dont know if thats whats going on with you op but i have had grapples with depression for a lot of my adult life and its not easy, sometimes its uncertain and i have to keep my eye on the prize so to speak which isnt always such a battle its just persisting and not giving up as they say. im very determined to beat this and the medication makes it a little easier until i find somethign that helps me to live a more fulfilling experience in my case

>>82239818
MY LIFE IS LIKE A VIDEOGAME
TRYING HARD 2 BEAT THE STAGE

>>82239845
Lmfao same. I bought the rope and everything, i was gonna hang myself but then as i was setting everything up i knew i couldn't do it. I threw the rope away.

Im a fuckin pussy loser

>>82239866
Is writing down your words on paper really any better when I can just burn the book?
>You can copy and distribute a book
You can do the same for a game.

My point is you're not writing your own story entirely, people like you that act like you are the only one responsible for everything that happens to you really are the worst

>>82239881
Not my point. My point is that if you're seen as an NPC, there's no point into trying.

Maybe an oceans a better analogy. You can steer the boat but you can't control the waves, you can only work around them.

>>82239866
it's a roguelike

>>82239700 (OP)
Dubs checked, have you grown careless in your actions? I've noticed I barely watch where I'm walked, always hitting things at knee or shin level. I work with handheld gasoline powered equipment, sometimes cuts my jeans or hits my boot because I'm just like on autopilot and if it hits me it hits me oh well. I don't wear gloves so I'm constantly getting stung by ants and poked with thorns. I had a thorn go under my nail last Saturday. I roll my sleeves up so the sun cooks my forearms and I get little cuts and scratches on my hands and arms from rubbing up against plants all day.

>>82239700 (OP)
Same, I go to work get home snort pills nod off repeat, I dont enjoy anything anymore

>>82239700 (OP)
same. i lost my will years ago.

i am the same way. i wonder if at this point i am too far gone and i need to kill myself

>>82240484
Not op but yeah, never thought Itd get to this point

kys whiteboi

either fix it or kill yourself then. don't be a drain on others by existing miserably

>>82239700 (OP)
I wouldn't necessarily say I am suicidal but after what happened last year at a lamb of god concert. I feel a lot different than I was before the show. Like I don't care about anything anymore...I don' know if its because of my age I began to realize it. I don't drink nor smoke or do any types of drugs. I'll probably see you on the other side OP.