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Thread 82245103

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Anonymous No.82245103 >>82245132 >>82245158 >>82245209 >>82245230 >>82245763 >>82245801 >>82245807 >>82247233
hey anon. are you okay? you can vent here if you want! what's something that makes you happy?
Anonymousse No.82245132 >>82245751
>>82245103 (OP)
Hope you're doing well, anon

>what's something that makes you happy?
Vidya... food... typical stuff you'd expect a channer to enjoy lol
>vent here if you want!
My recent problems are too personal to vent about, even under the veil of anonymity
Anonymous No.82245158 >>82245176 >>82245364
>>82245103 (OP)
>>are you okay?
Not really. I've got two years before I'm thirty and officially a failure. I have to get in shape and a degree and a better job and an apartment. It's really overwhelming.
>>what's something that makes you happy?
Dogs. I wish I had the money and space to get one, because they are the best pets
Anonymousse No.82245176 >>82245194
>>82245158
Anon, 30 being a deadline is an arbitrary thing you've construct in your mind. Rather than attempting to do a billion things all at once before you hit 30 and failing, pace yourself.
If you want to have a successful bit of growth, you need to do it at your own pace...
Anonymous No.82245194 >>82245212
>>82245176
I can't trust myself to do something at my own pace because I'm lazy. It's how I ended up here. So setting a hard limit will define whether or not I am a failure. If I work hard and do it, I can say to myself that I'm not a failure and just a late bloomer. But if I do as I've always done, then that will be proof I'm just a sack of shit and probably give me the last push to an hero. Either way, I will change and be something beyond this
Anonymous No.82245209 >>82245364
>>82245103 (OP)
>what's something that makes you happy?
Machine guns. Haven't touched one in over a year though.

I might cry

>are you okay
No, but I don't think I ever was, you know? So it'll be fine.
Anonymousse No.82245212 >>82245267
>>82245194
Okay, let's say you are lazy... setting a deadline at 30 still feels like a bad idea.
You can't force yourself to have that many things work out perfectly without issue in less than a year.

Focus on your education and making sure you're set up for the future. It's okay if you can't get in shape as quickly as you'd want to.
Anonymous No.82245230 >>82245364
>>82245103 (OP)
hi hutao anon, im alright but yeahhhhh
>what's something that makes you happy?
eating tasty stuff
Anonymous No.82245267
>>82245212
I never said they'd work perfectly. I said I had to do them. Will I be a Greek statue by 30? Not without roids, but I'll certainly be in better shape if not my starting goal in two years. By online maxing I can speed run a degree as they're just certifications for jobs anyway. Already working on my credit for an apartment but I'll need a better job. Thus the getting in shape and degree. It all has to come together, and while not perfectly I can force it to some extent
Anonymous No.82245364 >>82245410 >>82245608
>>82245158
>Not really
like another anon said, there's no universal deadlines when it comes to trying to be better. i dont think it's a bad thing to set yourself one however, it believe it helps with motivation. but not hitting doesn't make you a failure. it just means you need more time. i know everything can feel overwhelming and it's hard to make that feeling go away, but do try to be a bit kinder on yourself. try your best, and keep in mind the cute puppy you could get if you manage to put your life back on track! also, do you have a favourite dog breed? i think dachshunds look very cute and silly.
>>82245209
that's a mean machine gun
hmm, can't you get a softair one or do you guys not have that there?
>I don't think I ever was, you know?
yeah i get it anon. guess all we can do is get used to being this way. though if i may ask, when do you think you started feeling not okay? was it after childhood/teen or during that too? i get it if you'd rather not share it though.
>>82245230
hi anon! whats got you feeling bothered hmm?
what have you been up to?
>eating tasty stuff
me too heh! if you could only eat one food/dish for all your life, which would it be?
Anonymous No.82245410 >>82245751
>>82245364
>can't you get a softair one or do you guys not have that there?
I think I can. But I want the recoil. The smell of gunpowder and the muzzle flash. I want to see chunks come off of the target again.

>was it after childhood/teen or during that too?
First time I threatened to kill myself was at 6, so I really, honestly don't think I ever was okay.

It'll be alright. I'm just going to redirect that energy into beating world elites to death with a hammer and doing a suicide by cop
Anonymous No.82245608 >>82245751
>>82245364
I like big dogs more. If I could, I'd get a female wolf dog. Males will always try to challenge me for dominance, and while I can handle that when they're small, it gets dangerous when they get fully grown. Better to have a good girl who appreciates me than a little shit I have to intimidate or whack into submission
Anonymous No.82245751 >>82245805
>>82245132
my bad i forgor to answer before
>Hope you're doing well, anon
im not, but thanks anyway!
>Vidya... food...
i mean that makes sense yeah. what kind of vidya do you play? and whats your favourite food?
>My recent problems are too personal to vent about
hmm, i see, though you just make me more curious this way. i get it though, i hope you can get them fixed soon anon.
>>82245410
>But I want the recoil
then better save up for that trip to the shooting range anon. do you like any other guns or just MGs? im a huge fan of revolvers personally
>honestly don't think I ever was okay.
i understand, sorry you've had to deal with this for all your life. i also started thinking about dying relatively young, happiness feels so alien to me i'd probably feel like something isn't right when i feel it.
>redirect that energy into beating world elites to death with a hammer
i got nothing to say except ultra mega based! and please officer i'm not affiliated with this anon leave me be
>>82245608
>I like big dogs more
like saint bernards n such? or just any big dawgs?
>wolf dogs
those always look cool as heck. i've seen a few in the mountains, and they genuinely looked like wolves though much smaller. whats your opinion on dogs like chihuahuas?
Anonymous No.82245763 >>82246001
>>82245103 (OP)
>what's something that makes you happy
Watching people die.
Anonymous No.82245801
>>82245103 (OP)
>hey anon
hihi
>are you okay?
still touch starved and depressed but im okaaay ig
>what's something that makes you happy?
fucking jewish nigger society has fucked the dating meta, fucking niggers also god i really hope isreal get glassed already fucking mossad ruined america
>what's something that makes you happy?
as of late ive been enjoying putting a hand full of pixels down on wplace, building kotori from Blue Archive, little by little
Anonymous No.82245805 >>82246001
>>82245751
>like any other guns
Of course I do. Only guns I don't like are things that a really obsolete, like muzzle loaders. Also not a fan of lever guns, for some reason. But I like rifles, shotties, handguns and everything else. Revolvers can be fun, but I prefer double actions over singles.

What kind of revolvers do you like?

>happiness feels so alien to me
I'm sure something makes you happy, anon. You've already said you like food, and you obviously like Hu-Tao.

But yeah. Long term happiness eludes me too. Thought I might have it when I got married but that all crumbled to shit. Seems like every time I get something I think is nice, it turns out it wasn't what I wanted at all. Or it just doesn't last.
Anonymous No.82245807 >>82246001
>>82245103 (OP)
>hey anon
hihi
>are you okay?
still touch starved and depressed but im okaaay ig
>you can vent here if you want!
fucking jewish nigger society has fucked the dating meta, fucking niggers also god i really hope isreal get glassed already fucking mossad ruined america
>what's something that makes you happy?
as of late ive been enjoying putting a hand full of pixels down on wplace, building kotori from Blue Archive, little by little
Anonymous No.82246001 >>82246061 >>82246348 >>82246463
>>82245763
even if it's people you care about?
>>82245805
>I like rifles, shotties, handguns and everything else.
do you know the honey badger gun? it's probably my favourite rifle ever. looks awesome and sounds awesome. kinda wish i could shoot it someday. i like lever guns cause im a big fan of cowboys and the wild west, (reason why i like revolvers too)
>What kind of revolvers do you like?
colts ofc! nothing beats the looks of those.
>I'm sure something makes you happy
yes, i know. perhaps i haven't explained myself well; im sure i do feel happiness from time to time. it's just that i dont even notice when i do. i dont know how happiness is supposed to feel, i dont know how to recognize it. i never really think "wow im really happy right now!" it's almost as if i dont actually feel anything, it seems to me i only feel bad feelings because they're the ones i've felt for so long in my life and know nothing else. it's hard to explain.
>Long term happiness eludes me too
if it's even real... sorry to hear about your marriage anon. it's always saddening to know these things happen. i hope we'll both find something nice that will brings us happiness some day.
>>82245807
>hihi
hello!"!""!1
>still touch starved and depressed but im okaaay ig
you and me both anon, it is what it is. have a virtual hug!
>society
personally not a fan of how shit everything is right now either
>building kotori from Blue Archive
oh she's cute. how long do you think it will take to complete her? i was thinking of making a chibi hu tao somewhere too. im really bad at drawing stuff though.
Anonymous No.82246061 >>82246690
>>82246001
>have a virtual hug!
zhankya zhankya
>how long do you think it will take to complete her?
uhhh prob a week at this rate the process for bigger art pieces is very time-consuming solo
>bad at drawing stuff
pixel art is easy even if ur not copying, just think it as quick building in minecraft and just slab shit till u get a nice shape or an idea
Anonymous No.82246348
>>82246001
No, just random people.
Anonymous No.82246463 >>82246690
>>82246001
>honey badger
They're tight, .300 blackout is a mean cartridge. I really want to get my hands on a bolt-action 8.6 blackout with a suppressor. They're supposed to be whisper quiet. And if I can train up to hit something out to 800 yards with it then I can really give some Hell to some people I really don't like and be gone before anyone gets a direction on me.

>colts ofc! nothing beats the looks of those.
God made man. Samuel Colt made us equal. Patrician taste, anon.
>dont know how happiness is supposed to feel, i dont know how to recognize it
Ennui? Just can't feel things correctly any more, like life has lost its color? I get that a lot. It's gotten slightly better in recent years.

>hope we'll both find something nice that will brings us happiness some day.
One day I will. May have to die first, but I think I've punched my ticket for the nicer place. At least I hope so.

I hope this life will give you joys and comforts though. You seem like a chill dude, and I appreciate... well anyone that isn't a dick to me.
Anonymous No.82246504 >>82246690
i have no desire to game but i really want to, it makes no sense
Anonymous No.82246521 >>82246690 >>82246746
im fucking scared cus i hear like police sirens from outside and i think that they are after me but like the sirens have just stopped while i was typing this so thats a relief
Anonymous No.82246690 >>82246796 >>82246910
>>82246061
>picrel
that seems to be coming out pretty well! good work anone
>uhhh prob a week at this rate
oh wow thas a lot of placing. perhaps you could get some other anons to help? though i guess if you're building it close to your house it may get you unintentionally doxed...
>pixel art is easy even if ur not copying
you underestimate my stupidity, anon. hmmm... though i guess i could try making something a bit easier, like hu tao's flower branch. wish there was a site to make a template in or something like that.
>>82246463
>bolt-action 8.6 blackout
now that looks really cool. i dont dislike suppressors but i like seeing the muzzle flashes and hearing the sound of guns shooting. though i guess irl almost everyone uses suppressors nowdays. what's a handgun you like?
>Just can't feel things correctly any more, like life has lost its color?
yes, something to that extent. i still get to see the nice colours from time to time, it's just getting harder and harder with time i think.
>my ticket for the nicer place
im sure you've got your ticket as long as you keep being good and true to yourself anon. anything seems better than this earth, anyways... but thanks for the kind words. it's always great to talk with nice anons!
>>82246504
hmm, do you get instantly bored when you open a game or something of that extent? perhaps you just need something new to play.
>>82246521
if your conscience is clean you got nothing to worry about anon
Anonymous No.82246746 >>82247933
>>82246521
*knock knock knock*
We are looking for a wanted black person, have you seen him?
We have robot dogs and helicopters looking for him.
Anonymous No.82246796 >>82247142
>>82246690
>perhaps you just need something new to play.
doubt it. i have a bunch of games i have never played
Anonymous No.82246910 >>82247142
>>82246690
>like seeing the muzzle flashes and hearing the sound of guns shooting
Oh absolutely. That's one of the reasons I like MGs so much. But things are purpose built, you know?

>what's a handgun you like?
My favorite thus far is the Glock 40. 10mm, 6 inch barrel. They're made for self protection against bears, but certain loads go through Kevlar body armor.

>still get to see the nice colours from time to time
I did as well. They were just very dull, I suppose. They're making their way back though.

>thanks for the kind words
Any time, anon. I try to be good to those I meet
Anonymous No.82247142 >>82247540
>>82246796
then it's just your brain telling you to do something different i guess. it's not unusual for me to feel like playing something but ending up staring at my steam library for 20 minutes instead
>>82246910
>But things are purpose built, you know?
would you have liked being a sniper too then?
>Glock 40
can't argue with that it's a nice gun, looks neat too. didnt know they were made for bears specifically... i like 1911 pistols. my grandpa had a replica of one of those and i used to stare at it as a kid lole. i like berettas too and i have a "toy" one that shoots plastic bullets (though they hurt like hell and it's the gun itself isnt made of plastic)
>They're making their way back though.
thats nice! i miss being a kid and seeing everything coloured so brightly. the world itself is also turning grayer, which sucks...
Anonymous No.82247233 >>82247491
>>82245103 (OP)
a once believer followed the stead of many along the sands of a scorching desert, wilting,
sick and ill from a life and a no life of hardships and non hardships. a frail body wimping along the dunes,
searching for something perhaps to cure them, perhaps to end them, they do not know as no one does.

the sick creature continued and has continued for years, for millennia, or for mere minutes, that does not matter.
the steps, the endless trail of footsteps is only there so long as the prideful winds allow it and the envious rains permit it. there's a cry in the distance.

with every step the sutures on their body burst and burst again. this stitched up puppet, lazily and sloppily put back together by fools
who thought themselves as gods must now walk barefoot, callouses and blisters forming on their soles only for the purpose of somehow living.

but why?

a ripple in the vast ocean of sand perhaps for the first time in the history of forever stranded time like a sailor atop the sea, and suddenly,
the dunes, the mirages, the blisters, the stitches, and the pain all disappeared for a split second, only to come back biting harder than ever.

a creature followed closer and closer to a monolith, carved in a marbled black stone in the middle of an unknown nowhere.
the steps burnt, their skin bled and pulsated, their heart was giving up, their mind had given up.

and so it reached. it's here, the apex, the summit, the crux of one's life and one's death. and so the creature collapsed,
shriveled up into a fetal position and let the blistering sands burn every inch of its body for it didn't matter anymore, as they had made it.

days, weeks, years passed and every day the wounds kept shoddily healing and reappearing at every instance.
stranded now on a pool of dried blood pus urine and feces stood this thing at the steps of a monolith, its joints calcified, its skin now fused to the ground.
and so it finally understood:

god chokes, but never strangles.
Anonymous No.82247491 >>82247899
>>82247233
very haunting story anon, nevertheless wonderfully written. thank you for sharing it. are you the one who wrote it anon?
this creature... has it felt any regret for following the path towards what it believed was salvation? was the pain endured worth what it was searching for?
and the monolith, is it what the creature was looking for? perhaps merely an illusion of what it needed? hmm, i think a lot of things in this story can be looked at differently depending on who reads it. this ocean of sand seems like the place where everyone finds themselves in eventually. the ripple could be a strain of light in what seemed to be the darkest place on has been in. could it be that maybe the creature was merely seeking a purpose to make it's death worth something? everything it has endured to make dying something worth doing. who knows.
Anonymous No.82247540 >>82248295
>>82247142
>would you have liked being a sniper too then?
You bet I would have. I actually got to train with our snipers once, and I got to fire the Barret. That was a thing of beauty

>like 1911 pistols.
They're popular, and for good reason. I just don't like the reduced capacity on them.

>like berettas too
Also solid. They fit my hand really well and I like their irons.
Anonymous No.82247899 >>82248295
>>82247491
curious how you mirror the once believer. expecting answers, expecting meaning, reason, resolution, moral, justice.

god whispers but never answers.
Anonymous No.82247933
>>82246746
im suprised you didnt use george floyd for this
Anonymous No.82248295 >>82249552
>>82247899
isn't the believer supposed to be us anyways? least thats what i got from the tale. god sure is a meanie also. only makes everyone suffer
>>82247540
>I actually got to train with our snipers once
oh that sounds cool. what sort of stuff did they make you do? other than uhm, shooting targets from far away that is.
>I just don't like the reduced capacity on them.
honestly i always go for looks rather than everything else when ti comes to things. i do like berettas shotties too
Anonymous No.82249552
>>82248295
>what sort of stuff did they make you do
All we did was shoot stuff from far away, actually. Snipers do a lot more than that though, obviously.

Something cool we learned though was the mil relation formula, which is a math equation used to estimate the distance (and therefore ballistic drop) for a target