Thread 82262644

How close are you to suicide?

Im at my lowest. Only close friend is my mom and i could never. Thats my homie same music taste and everything i love that women

how close is the nearest plug?

to be honest, im so impulsive that it could happen literally any day but im also so spaced out and retarded that it probably wont happen on any particular day

as much as i want to do it i want it to be a spectacle so unless i get a shotgun or find someone willing to disembowel me after death then its not happening

>>82262644 (OP)

I'm not suicidal, Officer, and never will be. I would never want to kill myself.

Not very, death will come for me eventually. I love my mother too much to do that to her.

with a good mom or father you never would. as you get older you realize those motherfuckers are just like you, dealing with the same shit same hell why even put them through the hell of killing yourself, if i died by naturally id still feel horrible

I'm not close to suicide at all, but I do have some ridiculous thoughts around suicide. I'm currently trying to find a job, and the amount of fake listings, data grifting, HR reps not knowing shit is enough to make me snap. But I don't want to hurt myself or people around me. I would rather hurt HR people. Here is my plan:

>Draft letter to every single HR/Hiring rep that rejected me after interviewing me, or otherwise ghosted me
>Find out personal information about every single one of them, including relatives, past accounts, anything I can get my hands on. Perhaps even pay people to dig up info if I feel like it
>Letter describes how I am planning on committing suicide, describing how I will do it, how it's their fault, how they are personally responsible, and start naming some info about them ("How will your child live with her mother being a murderer?", "Does your husband know [incriminating]")
>Find where each and every HR/Hiring rep lives so I can properly mail them this letter
>Send mail to each of them with no return address
I want to inflict as much psychic damage on every single HR department that I can that has lead me on, wasted my time, and otherwise disrespected me. They will know my pain.

>>82262644 (OP)
A lot closer than I've been in a long time
I cry every day
It feels like this is never gonna end
Still have some hope left though
No plan yet
But I've been there before and I know it's not far off

>>82262644 (OP)
Too angry to an hero. If I do, I'm taking as many """people""" with me as possible.

>>82262644 (OP)
Not yet. I am still paying my mama's mortgage, after that it's fair game

>>82262644 (OP)
I would prefer to become a suicide bomber and take "innocent" "people" with me instead of just going out silently, so I doubt I'm gonna do it anytime soon

For everybody with terrible parents theres some of us with parents we genuinely love. Some of us going through grief after losing a mom or dad. If your parents didnt touch you theyre all worthy of reconnecting. I didnt talk to my mom 7 years... been in contact with her for last 10 years i love her a lot. best friend.

>>82262936
If your parents truly love you then I hope they lose you one day

>>82262644 (OP)
very very close thanks to a break up
>inb4 lol kys over a foid what a cuck
yeah whatever

>>82262936
When my bio-dad died a few years ago, I felt like Piccolo when he fused with Kami.

>>82262958

You gotta be under 18 way too edgy

I just don't wanna fuck it up is all. I have the gun but I people are saying different things on where I should put it to end it as quickly and painlessly as possible.

>>82262993
If I was under 18 I'd be grooming pedophiles you retard

I have everything in order. If that day happens then I'll do it then.

>>82262644 (OP)
ehh im 18 now so ill give it a few more years see how i go

>>82262644 (OP)
Tried earlier this year. Give me a gun and I'd do it this second. No one will care, and it would be good for everybody if I did. There is not a single reason to be alive, and I suffer everyday.

>>82263254
what happend do you?

I'm not suicidal but I won't buy a gun because it might just be too tempting

>>82262936
>If your parents didnt touch you
they did though

maybe got a year left

>>82263262
My life is treated like a sandcastle on the beach. I build it up, someone comes along and knocks it down. I am then told my sandcastle won't be knocked down, so it's safe to build again by the person who kicked it down. Then they kick it down again. Repeat in one infinite game.
People continuously destabilizing and upending my life until I got stressed out enough to try and checkout, and instead of learning some sort of lesson to not do that kind of thing to others from that. They immediately keep doing it again. It's like they are intentionally trying to kill me

>>82263397
what happend exactly though?

>How close are you to suicide?
I've wanted to die for years, but too pussy to kms.

I'll keep going forever. id stick around even if i was a stump and elon chip in my head to control a remote control for tv and video games lol

>>82262644 (OP)
still got a lot of family members so it's hard but i recently realized that i don't care about them that much. it's gonna fuck up my sister for sure. my parents yes but i don't care for them anymore. guess when the last of my grandparents die in a couple years it might be time

>>82262644 (OP)
Next year, if stuff don't work I will have no choice but to do it

Once my ex is verifiably dead then I'll be ready. I refuse to die without finality there. I just live on because there's some small chance we'd get back together in spite of the retardation of it all. Everything in my life is a distraction from this ex.

>>82264220
That is very insightful and relatable. I feel the same way about two exes I had that I will never be able to recreate. But I would be happy to end it now because women never go back to their exes, I am just too afraid of the pain of the actual suicide so I continuously put it off. I always hope I will have the courage but days continue to pass

>>82264315
Nah, for me in some twisted since it gives me a reason to live. Just waiting to see which of us kicks the bucket first. I'm sure the opposite side does the same.

It's like a never ending pissing contest of "Ha, I'm still breathing faggot" and "So what, pussy?"

>>82264381
If your ex is a woman I can guarantee she never thinks about you. If it is a man, possibly, I have no experience with that. Women do not love in the same way a man does, they just simply move on using their abundance of new options

>>82262644 (OP)
already there, I'm waiting to give birth to my baby then leaving her in the care of my brother for a few days then I'll off myself

>>82262644 (OP)
I'm not suicidal. My datura seeds are coming in today. In just a few days, I'll have the time to try it and see what prolonged delirium feels like. If I die, I die. I don't intend to take an overdose, but I've heard as little as 3 seeds causing an overdose.

>>82264391
but what if we're trannies

>>82264401
Why get a child if you're suicidal?

>>82264438
I've been lying to my husband about being ready because I did not want to dissapoint him, he doesn't know I'm depressed and I don't know how to approach the subject with him, I've given up on it

in the past 7 months my depression has gotten maybe 4 times worse too.

>>82264424
That is outside of my area of expertise but I envy you! It seems very fun and fulfilling. I am 30 so I was a little too old to be part of that movement

>>82262644 (OP)
I'm much, much closer to homicide than I am suicide.

>>82264220
my ex is dead and i'm killing myself on my birthday next month

>>82264846
You will not actually do it. See you in 32 days nuggethead

>>82264875
i'm going to make myself a drink, take all of my wellbutrin at once, cut my left arm and use my right to shoot myself. 10 years late to the 27 club. ama

>>82262644 (OP)
generally I wouldn't say I am suicidal at all but on some days every now and then I start intensely thinking about it then when I snap out of it I am a bit scared about how intense those thoughts were then I forget about it until it happens again

>>82264924
Anyone that takes this much planning and date setting is just getting off on the idea of suicide and will not actually do it. When someone is legitimately ready to do it they achieve inner peace. If you were ready you would not set a date a month in the future. Just live your life man you do not actually want to do it

>>82264944
that sounds like quitter talk. nah it's that i've survived too many times so i have to set time aside to do everything correctly as well as get my affairs in order. i'm not some 19 year old with no assets.

>>82262644 (OP)
straying farther and farther away from it as the days go by and finding more reasons to continue on seeing the next day as the universe allows, as I leave behind and move on from the memories and mistakes that tell me what I shouldn't do, wbu anon?
If there's anything to go by, I'm taking that long mile and would prefer to see if seeing the natural end of the universe is considered a suicide, if so, oh well, if not, hell yeah

>>82262644 (OP)
not at all, but I'll go from 0 to 100 real quick once my parents die and I lose the only people who ever cared about me.

>>82263519
I don't want to go into specifics. All I will say is that the future is gone unless multiple things fall into place, and various people who don't want to fix problems grasp what they do and decide to change their ways.

>>82264998
Absolute and utter cope. When you are dead you do not have assets anymore buddy. You have nothing. It is fine to not be suicidal but pretending like you are when you care about earth dollars is stolen valor. Just live your life man pretending to be suicidal is the lowest quality spam you can offer other than race baiting

>>82262644 (OP)
I asked God to kill me again about 4 hours ago but right now I'm more in a "can't die without taking a fee of these motherfuckers with me" mood

Who fuvkin knows man

>>82265149
i don't have anything to prove to you bro, but it's about my getting my assets in order to pass them on. giving someone my vehicle takes a lot of paperwork if i want them to have it legitimately instead of the state taking my things. i'd roll over in my grave and stand back up if the government won the lottery on the things i've earned for myself and others in this life. nice ragebait.

i'm twice a widow and i'm fucking over it. if you have any further grievances i suggest you take a couple steps back so you can tug it a little bit.

>>82265202
You can make a will in 5 minutes. It is the easiest paperwork imaginable. My will is for the ASPCA. You are a larping attention whore. Your assets being an impediment to a suicide is the biggest cope I have read all day by far. Off the charts levels of cringe. Just live your life man you are just a normal guy stop the larping

not close. i have to pick up my niece from school

>>82265225
since you seem to have it in order, i'll jump the shark and go early on cam with you if you donate to my sister's fund. i'm leaving everything behind to take care of her medical expenses. if not, mind your business it's 4chan retard :]

Suicide is a sin, Kurt Cobain was murdered by his wife probably the documentary "Soaked in Bleach" explains this.

>>82264846
shut up man dont do it

>>82262644 (OP)
Kurt really not beating the shitty small town ostensibly homeless early HRT tranny allegations

>>82264401
you're probably cursing your baby with lifelong depression. my mother was extremely depressed while pregnant with me due to the death of my older brother and i've never known a day of true happiness without underlying despair in my life.

Very close. Did what everyone tells you to do as someone who's been passively suicidal and had 2 attempts across 12yrs.
Buffed up from the gym, saved up 20k GBP, currently work as a firefighter but feel the exact same about life as I did when I was a severely underweight useless NEET.

I just don't know a good method. If I was able to get my hands on a gun or cyanide pill, I'd be gone already. I just have zero ambitions or interest in anything and have always just been around because you have to be. I don't care about anything. I'm really hoping before the end of the year I can kill myself. It's the most aggravating thing where people cannot understand that you might just not want to be alive, even if things are "going well".

If I knew who or where to go to, I'd easily buy a pill for like 5k and go off into a national park and take it.

>>82265769
i can point you in a direction of the pill you're looking for and such. we have a connection. there's also some people you can talk to (not therapists) i can recommend in private if you want. basically just other suicidal people, etc.

what are you gonna do with your cash before you go?

>>82262644 (OP)
Suicide occupies at least 50% of my daily thoughts. Not even in a depressed or sentimental way, more in a "oh to kill myself in that place would be nice" or "I wonder how my body would look like when I jump off that highway bridge"
I've become too numb to really go through with it, but I'm pretty sure if the opportunity arises, I wouldn't hesitate to take it.

>>82265055
Fuck it, one more week like this and I'm out. Why should I care anymore that liars and abusers who don't care enough to change will get hurt. Maybe it will wake them up to reality and force them to learn how they should treat others.

>>82265792
Any advice on getting my hands on a pill would be greatly appreciated. Also in regards to what I'll do before I go, honestly I have no idea. I don't care about or like anything which is why I was able to save up in the first place.
I'm open to talk anywhere because the captchas are so annoying nowadays.