Thread 82262921

I saw someone post monkey torture video and my heart started racing and it turned me on (not in a sexual way) like I really enjoyed it. I always enjoy the thought of dragging my wife and just torturing her, the thought just makes me feel so right. But not my wife, everyone around me. I have exuded so much self control in my 22 year old life. When im in public I literally calculate every possible scenario and I before I drive anywhere, I analyze every possible road and hazard. Im scared someone will try to kill me or hurt me. But anyway you guys dont think im crazy? When I was 8 to 11 years old, I bullied a mute kid (because he was mute and wouldnt tell on me). And I would do disgusting things, like spit on him and stab him with a pencil. Tell him horrible stuff like how his parents are at home getting killed. Thought out my life ive been known as super anti social but not in a shy way, im very direct with people but people think im nice and sweet (generally speaking)

>>82262921 (OP)
Nigger x3

>>82262921 (OP)
Yeah you likely are a psychopath. Just keep your thoughts to yourself and never act upon them. Heres a pro tip: instead of getting it diagnosed go get a criminal justice degree then become an detective you will kill it in the game. You would probably be scary good at it due to being a detailed psychopath and knowing how a criminal mind would operate.

>>82262921 (OP)
No, it's perfectly normal and healthy

Sauce?

>>82262921 (OP)
>I saw someone post monkey torture video and my heart started racing and it turned me on (not in a sexual way) like I really enjoyed it.
you should kill yourself

there is something very wrong with you. don't start collecting that shit. don't even try exploring it. monkey torture videos are illegal. especially the baby ones. iirc they're classed as CSEM for obvious reasons.

>>82263007
Monkey hands types that

>>82262921 (OP)
go to therapy unironically

>>82262921 (OP)
I thought these were just intrusive thoughts and other people had them in varying degrees. It cant be that bad we havent done anything

>>82263007
>>82262983

But I dont understand why am I born like this? I thought everyone was like this. When something slightly inconvenient happens I always think of murdering that person and that is why I am so scared to interact with people because I fear with my direct nature they will try and kill me. I havent committed evil since I was 12 years old.
>>82263019
Just why, do I want to hurt people.

Ill give you an example, my wife was just making coffee (i dont do drugs or coffee) and she was happy and asked me how was everything, I told her good. I went upstairs, put on my suit and I was walking out the door, I was on the verge of tears, I just didnt understand why, then when I went in my car, I started freaking out and I kept telling myself, why didnt I stab her and torture her and made her feel as much pain as possible

We can start gooning together anon

I want to see your cum after

>>82263028
You know very well that therapy does not help psychopaths. All it would do is screw him over for the rest of his life from any job that requests mental health records.

Wrap your hand around that cock and start stroking for me

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAAAAWDS HOLY FUCK SOMEBODY CALL THE FACKIN' POLICE I DIDN'T EXPECT SOMEONE HERE TO ACTUALLY POST THAT SHIT

Prepare for the cum countdown

>>82263062
Well for starters thinking people are going to want to kill you for being blunt is generally irrational. Also hurting or stabbing your wife for something so mundane is also pretty irrational, and you recognize this. But here is my question, why do you feel bad for hurting the mute kid? Do you think about this a lot?

>>82263062
bro you should divorce your wife and check yourself into a mental hospital what the fuck

you're gonna end up killing her or something

>>82263117
I am asking these questions because it sounds a lot like OCD with paranoid personality disorder. This might be able to be treated with meds if you go see a shrink then initiate therapy with a psych.

>>82263119
Ive had these thoughts since I remember and its every human I interact with 24 7 however my its is the one that actually bothers me. Especially when shes being super nice and loving, when I am by myself I started crying and getting angry that I didnt hurt her (I just feel weak, like I have no control) I cant help myself I cant control it
>>82263117
I dont feel bad anymore, I apologized to him at 12 years old. And I had good reasons for the bullying (he betrayed me)

>>82263062
Demonic possession, or maybe you are just normal conformist

>>82263141
do the right thing, go to a mental hospital, you need therapy and medication, maybe even being sedated

>>82263139
>>82263119
I cannot see a therapist because my job wont allow it. Its medical sensitive

>>82262921 (OP)
>, I analyze every possible road and hazard. Im scared someone will try to kill me or hurt me
Then you aren't a psychopath, they don't feel fear

>>82263152
Dude, anyone above 18 can confidentially see a shrink or a psych. Just do it online. Do the shrink first get meds then start doing the therapy

>>82263183
You dont get it. I cant or I get fired. They will know

>>82263195
>I cant or I get fired. They will know
Unless you are active duty military most places allow psych meds and allow people to see a therapist. What is your profession?

>>82263223
Airline pilot for an American legacy carrier

>>82263238
>Airline pilot
oh no

>>82263246
Yea . . . like i said i cant see one and anyway i dont believe in therapist or drugs. I dont even drink coffee. I just need your help on what i have and why

>>82263261
Well, you were likely born with possibly OCD and that is why you have always had the intrusive thoughts about torturing. Your compulsion would be hurting people thus completing the obsession and the compulsion. You need therapy and meds for this but if you do not want to do meds I would try a high dose 5-HTP in the 300-600mg range and take it every day to regulate your serotonin. This wont pop up in drug tests it is an amino acid. Also, the FAA is now encouraging therapy for pilots as it is a stressful career. You will not be reprimanded for seeing a therapist as per FAA guidelines. I would get the proper OCD treatment that you need from an online therapist.

Lastly, you seem to be paranoid about people wanting to kill you. When did this paranoia begin?

>>82263323
isn't this more than ocd? personally, i have really bad ocd but op obviously seems like a psychopath. just being honest, since i hate when people sugarcoat things

>>82263344
With the paranoia it could be something more but most of his other symptoms align with OCD since it has been occurring since childhood. I want to know when the paranoia started.

>>82263344
It likely would not be psychopath because psychopaths are not typically fearful or paranoid.

>>82263062
>Ill give you an example, my wife was just making coffee (i dont do drugs or coffee) and she was happy and asked me how was everything, I told her good. I went upstairs, put on my suit and I was walking out the door, I was on the verge of tears,

>>82263344
I think I must have scared OP away with the paranoia questions. I will not be flying on an American legacy carrier any time soon lol

>>82263238
>Airline pilot
I REALLY hope this is LARP because anon holy fuck you should not be flying planes

>>82263344
Yeah OP is such a psychopath he's send himself into crying fits because he won't act on his urges, that's what psychopaths do lmfao

Bleep bloop. The people making the videos are far more cruel than you.

In fact, they're actively taking advantage of low IQ individuals that live vicariously through their 3rd world.

This isn't psychopathy either, it's sadism. If you know you enjoy it just don't be a weirdo. There are consensual ways to enjoy sadistic tendencies.
Masochists will often agree to being hurt.

But you should learn as much as you can about safety so you don't end up in prison like an idiot.

You do have a high likelihood of ending up in jail.

>>82262921 (OP)
You probably are a malignant narcissist.
Malign narcissism is a combination of sadistic personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder.

It is different from ASPD proper and psychopathy in that the psychopath has complete deterioration of the super-ego, so no ability to feel shame, remorse and guilt. ASPD also are very bad at seeing into the future, their world is the now and present, consequences are of little importance to them, this is also a super-ego function.

Malignant narcissists in other hand eventhough they might see themselves as grandiose and needing nobody, they still have some need to connect with others, guilt and shame are not enterely abscent and they can even admire other cruel narcissists, something that psychopaths can't, ASPD proper people dont admire or look up to anyone.

Just my two cents.

>>82264576
I'd also like to point out that this does not make you a bad person. It's better you know so you can have enjoyment by taking correct steps. Not knowing about sadism is common. But ultimately does not make you evil. Again, just practice safety. Having breakdowns over this isn't uncommon for those with sadism either. It makes sense to feel bad knowing you enjoyed making pain. It's paradoxical.

>>82262921 (OP)
Yeah you are. If you're white you'll make the ideal husband to an Asian woman since they're equally as demented. Just look at those videos of chinks crushing little rabbits with their heels

>>82262921 (OP)
You sound pretty based to me, anon

>>82262921 (OP)
This is who women want to fuck. The only girlfriend I ever had left me for her ex who was exactly like this