Thread 82294673

I really hate the fact that we shit ourselves when we die

Everyone is a jeet in the end. God has a fucked sense of humor.

I think you are full of shit anon...

>>82294673 (OP)
why do you hate it

its your last joke to the world before leaving it for good

i think its funny

>>82294673 (OP)
I was thinking about that. I guess its better to kms after taking a dump

>mothers shit themselves when giving birth
>everyone shits themselves when they die
it is what it is

>>82294673 (OP)
Only if we have a full load ready at the time.
A couple of corpses I've seen hadn't shit themselves.
Now, women shitting themselves when they give birth...

>>82294673 (OP)
Is there no way to prevent this from happening?

>>82294673 (OP)
Yeah. It's difficult to reconcile the disgusting bodily nature of it with the nobility. It just ends up being a sadly comic and pathetic and absurd crime of passion instead of the beautifully decisive, idealist denial of life you want. I hate the fact that we shit, in general.

>>82294673 (OP)
take a shit before you die

c:

>>82296352
I wrote this thinking you were talking about suicide for no reason. Nevermind.

>>82294673 (OP)
I was thinking about taking laxatives and then not eating for a few days if I ever decide to hang myself so it's less awful for whoever has to deal with it

>>82294843
Even if your colon is relatively empty the buildup of gasses in your guts eventually forces shit out of your ass sooner or later, with no ability to retain anything anymore you just start leaking from every orifice.

>>82296388
So if i shove a dildo or buttplug up there ill be fine?

>>82296409
>So if i shove a dildo or buttplug up there ill be fine?
No, it will shit the dildo and the buttplug out too

>>82294673 (OP)
That's why you should die vaporized

>>82296526
But what if you used a really BIG buttplugger and let your sphincter unstretch? Theoretically, it wont be able to get out without tearing up your asshole ??

>>82294684
BRVTAL LMAO

>>82294673 (OP)
Idk when I found my dad dead I didnt remember any shit smells, dude looked absolutely ghastly though poor fucker was a sorry sight, rip

>>82294673 (OP)
>I really hate the fact that we shit ourselves when we die
Not sure where this myth comes from, but you don't actually shit yourself when you die. A couple of times I came closer to death than anyone has a right to (serious motorcycle crashes that resulted in hospital stays) and I never shit myself. Didn't even piss my pants. And if that's not enough anecdotal evidence for you I also worked in a hospital and saw people who had just died. Shitting yourself when you die isn't a real thing.

I mean think about it man. Your body has to push out a turd. It's not like those muscles are still working when you're dead.

>>82296940
I'm sorry for your loss, fren.

worried i'll OD and then NOT die in my bed. wake up to a mattress covered in shit. it's not like i have a spare mattress.

>>82294673 (OP)
I love zat fact

>>82297197
>I love zat fact
Why?

>>82297190
it'd just end up in your underwear, pants, sheets, mattress pad (if you have one), in that order, it's not getting to your bare mattress unless this is some truly heinous explosive watery diarrhea
if your'e that worried you can get one of those waterproof mattress covers pet owners use in case their dog pisses the bed