Thread 82306410

when did you turn from a happy child to a depressed/bitter one?

>>82306410 (OP)
Probably somewhere between 5-13

>>82306410 (OP)
you can see the light in my eyes disappear around 10 or 11 in pictures so around then

>>82306410 (OP)
probably after getting bullied all the time in 6th grade
so when i was 12ish

My dad became a disabled abusive drug addict when I was 5, so around then.

>>82306440
>>82306459
We got knocked out of the game quick, eh

>>82306410 (OP)
11-12 but there were some signs before
12 is when I was forced to see a psychiatrist and start SSRIs

>>82306410 (OP)
I remember breaking down in front of my mom and saying in between sobs to her that "I just wanted to be happy and live a peaceful life". I was 12. That's when I realized that I was a bit too woke for my age.

Being alive/life in general

after moving to america

>>82306410 (OP)
12 years old in grade 7. thats when it all went downhill

5,6,7 were okay for me. not the worst, pretty alright
8 was good but short lived. i moved to a new city this year. and then i moved to another city at 9
9,10,11 were the best years of my life. i had a taste of the normie life. high in the social hierchy, everyone liked me, girls were nice to me, i had friends, had a lot of fun, was never bullied or made fun of, i won several fights and had respect, good grades. the high life. its really great

12,13,14 really massive downward spiral of losing friends due to moving, bullying, unrequited love, and moving to a new school
15,16 moved to a new city, never bullied but had no friends, dropped out

basically, at puberty thats when it all went downhill

>>82306467
it never even began honestly

>>82306410 (OP)
>when did you turn from a happy child to a depressed/bitter one?
About the time when I turned eight in the mid-90s. Never got over it.

>>82306410 (OP)
I think around 13-14. Once puberty hit I began to feel like complete dog shit, I was growing body hair and suddenly the girls in my class who I couldn't care less about were living in my head-rent free, despite being the same annoying retards. male puberty is gay. the only thing i got from it was being constantly horny (and hairy, and depressed.)

>>82306410 (OP)
I was never that happy desu.
But I became very depressed at 12-13, got better 14-16/17and then got worse since.

>>82306410 (OP)
Pretty much exactly when I started in school

>>82306410 (OP)
Was actually the opposite, I was really angry and full of piss and vinegar as a kid but mellowed out the more I got older. Being able to at least have some level of control over how my life goes really helped me desu. Shits retarded of course but now I can actually make my own little slice of the pie not as bad, and am actually not doing too bad there.

>>82306410 (OP)
I had sick and broken parents so I was never happy. All my childhood photos I'm mean mugging you can tell I'm miserable. I can't relate to other 90s faggots that idolize their childhood and are stuck obsessing over it with their arrested development.

>>82306410 (OP)
after i was left jaded and extremely resentful towards my school(s) for always putting me in sped classes no matter how fucking hard i worked, i tired myself relentlessly to get out of those damn classes, i begged my counselors, so much more, only to still be held to the same standards of every retard i had seen from last year that was carried into my new sped classes for the year
its been happening since the 1st grade but i only became really aware of it in the 6th grade

>>82306410 (OP)
About 8-9. There wasn't much left after that

>>82306410 (OP)
13 was when my childhood innocence went away and reality hit me like a tonne of bricks

>>82306410 (OP)
probably when i was like 8 and started thinking about how i dont think see the world as other people see it
still pretty sure ive got severe Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder but i dont care anymore

>>82306410 (OP)
7th grade when the bullying started

Probably around 10. Growing up poor, getting unfair treatment from teachers, constantly being wrongly accused of shit, and watching the kids with rich parents receive preferential treatment was a one-way ticket to extreme bitterness and resentment for me

at 9 years old I first thought that I would never fit in, it took me three years of being invisible to the other kids but better late than never I suppose

>>82306410 (OP)
At 4 or so I asked my whore mother why I didnt have a dad and said I wanted one and she fell to the floor crying hysterically and panicking so I had to calm her out of it. This is likely my oldest memory.

>>82306410 (OP)
The second I became a teenager

>>82306410 (OP)
I was never happy. My oldest memories are being alone in an unlit house. A fitting metaphor for my life.

>>82306410 (OP)
She could easily let Coco fix her. I'd let Coco fix me.

>>82306410 (OP)
I distinctly remember it being in 7th grade, I was a pretty happy kid before then but that was around the time that I became cognizant of the fact that certain people around me were treated better and had more friends simply for being more attractive, having lower inhibition, or having wealthy parents. I've been basically completely silent and nonparticipatory in socializing ever since. I suspect it took an even worse turn in college since, up until that point, I was relatively sheltered by being in gifted and advanced classes, but then I was exposed to the general populace of degen dipshits that are only in college to party, take drugs, and fuck Chad/Stacy for 4 years; I was pretty much 100% affirmed in my conviction that life is completely unfair and almost anything I do is a waste of time spinning in the hamster wheel.

I was never happy. I was just ignorant. This isn't a joke. Just take a look at pics of me from when I was in 5th grade and you see a noticeable shift around 7th grade. Right now, I am content.

>>82309278
We were all happy children in the 1990's, now that we're adults, and the world has been degraded, it feels like a tragedy

>>82306410 (OP)
Around 13/14 when my father died and the bullying started and l changed schools and the bullying got worse

>>82309278
>depressedbitter
>turned 10 years ago
I think we were just supposed to grow up faster than everybody else, and it messed up our brains

11/12. Couldn't even have peaked in high school if I tried. I tried to re-imagine what my life could have looked like if I had the knowledge that I have now back then, except... I probably wouldn't have done many things different. Wasn't allowed to leave the house unsupervised except for school, was bullied at school so couldn't make friends there, my paranoid mom didn't let me join any clubs, and the internet wasn't the social hub that it is now. I'm somewhat jealous at kids growing up now that the internet is a much bigger help than anything I had.

>>82306496
sniffcat is a good cat, take care of him well fren

>>82306410 (OP)
I was like that from the start

>>82310931
>jealous
ive had this issue since elementary school. always mad at everyone elses christmas. i just resent mom for not getting me what everyone else had: a laptop, yugi cards, xbox live subscription, a pet, formal clothing, etc etc. then parents have the audacity to ask why im miserable and act shitty. well i was never given a reason to be happy

>>82306410 (OP)
9 years old was when i realized i was irrevocably off

When my mama died when i was 12. I immediately knew i lost the only person i would want to make proud

>>82306410 (OP)
Basically day 1. I didn't figure out how to smile properly until I was like 12. I was much more normal in highschool than I ever was when I was in grade school.

>>82306410 (OP)
7-9 ish. moms constant yelling and dad always thinking it was funny to scare us gave me night terrors and they just yelled and humiliated me for it. kinda just snowballed from there.

Ive been depressed as long as I can remember. When i was really little maybe i didnt think about it but had to have been since i was 7 or 8.

>>82306410 (OP)
Pretty young. I vividly remember scribbling "i hate myself" on my assignments when I was 8 years old.

>>82306410 (OP)
After i had sex with your dad

>>82306410 (OP)
Around 7. That's when I learned at school other people's parents were part of their lives and did things for them and also that I was terminally different. Then nobody wanted to talk to me because I was weird and smelled bad and depressed all the time and had fleas.

At 14 i transformed from a normal kid to a hateful bitter angry suicidal incel

The transition was fucking crazy i wasn't even the same person in 2019 as i was in 2021

>>82306410 (OP)
Right around age 10 when my entire life was destroyed and taken away from me in one life changing incident. That sent me down a dark hate filled life i have never recovered from and that was 35 years ago now..

>>82306410 (OP)
Was in denial at age 10 but at 14 freshman year of HS I knew people were nothing but snakes due to bullying and patronizing pretenders, at 16 I learned even family are nothing but snakes as well and I've been numb to desiring relationships ever since.

>>82306410 (OP)
Bullies and their gay social hierarchy. I had to be a fool to survive. Become someone else entirely to reduce the pain I'd experience for being born ugly and after all that it still hurt. I'm gradually healing again but the bullies are everywhere even in adult life. They are the enemy who must meet death

>>82306410 (OP)
When I was 15, cuz of studies and fuked up sleep schedule

>>82306410 (OP)
Around 7 years old?

>>82306410 (OP)
Can't remember ever really being happy, but my mom has told me I became very gloomy at 8 years old, which seems about right.

>>82306410 (OP)
12-16
High School bullying and a poor single mother household fucked me up.

The day i was put into spec ed class against my will. I lost my classmates entirely after a few months, being put into the "other" bin. Also bullying. So that'd be at 10 for me. Happy kid before that.