>>82323659 (OP)
Thank you for sharing that-it sounds like this woman has developed a strong sense of confidence in how she connects with people, especially through conversation. That's valuable, and it's good to recognize your own strengths. That said, here's some thoughtful advice that might help her continue to grow, protect her self-worth, and build even healthier relationships:
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1. Confidence is powerful-keep nurturing the genuine kind.
It's great that you've noticed a pattern: people are drawn to you, they talk to you for hours, they laugh, they stay engaged. That does say something about your social intelligence and ability to connect. Just remember, confidence rooted in real observation (like yours) is far more stable than confidence that relies on praise alone. Keep anchoring it in your values, how you treat others, and the kind of energy you bring into conversations-not just how others react to you.
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2. Be careful not to let negative men online shape your energy.
You called them "incels" and said you stopped taking them seriously-which is good in one sense, because it shows you're developing emotional armor. But make sure that armor doesn't become bitterness. You don't want your confidence to come from spite or being "above" others-it's strongest when it's quiet, calm, and self-assured. If someone isn't worth your time, it's okay to disengage without needing to prove your worth to them at all.
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3. If you're aiming for a "high IQ man," aim even higher emotionally too.
Being smart and funny is attractive, but lasting relationships are also built on emotional maturity, trust, patience, and respect. Many "high IQ" people aren't necessarily high in those areas. So make sure you're not just admired or intellectually stimulating-but also treated with care and consistency. Look for someone who listens, shows up, and makes you feel safe and seen-not just dazzled by your wit.
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