Thread 82328331

>be me
>went through old photos
>checked my socials
>went through the stuff I "liked" and "faved" over the years
Jesus Christ man, where did that kid go? Whatever happened to him that made him turn out like this nowadays?

You guys ever take a trip down memory lane? If I met myself 8-10 years ago I'd fucking tell him to kill himself, it's only going to get worse from here

>>82328331 (OP)
>be me
>get extreme banned from instagram years ago for harassing some girl who ghosted me

>>82328331 (OP)
honestly, I'm pretty bad then and now. My life only had some figment of hope when I was in 2nd grade

>>82328344
storytime, fucknugget

>>82328349
The one that got away, huh?

>>82328383
>be me
>elementary school
>see girl on the swings
>strong jawline, future foreshadowing of my incel genetics
>tfw brain imprints on her instantly

>fast forward to freshman year
>somehow we start walking together every day
>arm to arm like it's fate or some shit
>she asks me something like "what if we had kids?"
>heart.exe has stopped working
>first and last time I feel like a real human being

>one day she puts her leg across my thigh under the table
>pp instantly betrays me
>try to act normal but probably looked like I was being electrocuted
>my entire personality now revolves around her

>don'it even share classes with her anymore
>still obsessed
>walk with her a couple more times, hype myself up
>finally ask for her number
>ghosted immediately
>mutual friends start treating me like radioactive waste
>she probably spread the word I'm a creep

>last day of high school
>decide to "man up"
>flip out and call her a zashu from a lovebombing alt account I added her on before
>she blocks me on the spot

>summer after graduation
>cope by spamming her on Snapchat/Instagram with alts
>sometimes she adds me back for 5 seconds just to delete me again
>pain.jpg
>eventually start sending cringe lovey dovey paragraphs
>Instagram finally snaps
>"this account has been suspended" every time I make a new one
>perma-banned across devices, IP, probably my DNA
>tfw love turned me into an international fugitive
>now
>look back on it all
>only true happiness was arm-to-arm walks in freshman year
>tfw peaked at 14

>>82328551
fucking A, man
Did some crazy shit too back then, the girl ended up putting her mom on the phone and she told me to stop trying to get with her daughter haha

Fuck it, you do stupid shit as a kid, it is what it is
How's life now?

>>82328595
>How's life now?
I found out she was Jewish so I'm ok now. She looks like a roastie now too

>>82328331 (OP)
Try and stay positive about at least some things. Bitterness is like living death

>>82328331 (OP)
Recently I was throwing away old shit and went through scrapbooks I collected over like 25 years since I was in elementary school. There was surprisingly little cringe. I only found one or two really cringeworthy things. I cut out the best drawings to save them, cut out any names, addresses etc to burn them, and thrown away everything else.

>>82328710
Kek
Good on you, man
Reckon if you guys got together you'd have gotten all your kids snippes

>>82328742
>Bitterness is like living death
The genuine wonder at the world is still there, I'm still finding new shit to look and ponder upon each day
Bitterness too, is necessary, to grow as a person

>>82328790
That's a good lad, anon
Feels nice ain't it? Leaving that past behind and feeling like it's your first time living again

>>82328869
Yeah her friend did that with her bf lol

I don't understand. I have had my steam account for 20 years. Media is cumulative. I still have music and files from high school. I'm not missing anything. If anything my experiences and awareness become more refined and less pretentious over time.

>>82328869
>Feels nice ain't it? Leaving that past behind and feeling like it's your first time living again
Not really. Initially I saved them out of sentiment. But I noticed that feeling is gone. I was indifferent. I saved best drawings anyway but now they'll take one album instead of whole box.

>>82328331 (OP)
Wait what were you liking and faving?

>>82328551
>>first and last time I feel like a real human being
these are good ones bro

>>82328331 (OP)
Yeah, and it's never good for me. I have kept a journal for many years, and I also have saved pretty much everything I ever wrote for any class in school on my computer. I shouldn't look at it because it's usually a sad reminder that I haven't actually changed all that much over the years. Yeah, I'm a lot older now, but I'm still sad and lonely. I can find journal entries from years ago that are near identical to ones I've written in the last month. It feels like I'm just going in circles all the time. The only silver lining is that I have been very consistent, and I guess I could say that I've always been true to myself, even though it might've been better to just fake being someone else at times.

>>82328937
>I'm not missing anything
It's not about "remembering the past" that bothers me, I hated my past, it's just that at that moment in time I was someone else entirely, like full on night and day between then and now

I'm still the same me, I know but now? I don't know, I still feel like I like the same things but like you said, with more awareness and less prententiousness
It just feels off, I guess? Seeing who I was back then compared to now

>>82329033
I was unironically on my way to being a basedboy back when I was 18, so I liked the things associated with that back in 2016
I turned out fine now, I guess?

>>82328331 (OP)
>If I met myself 8-10 years ago I'd fucking tell him to kill himself, it's only going to get worse from here
I really don't know. Shit wasn't good, now shit isn't good too. Worst of all, all the experiences that felt good and real are either GONE or have been already twisted into parody upon itself.

>went through the stuff I "liked" and "faved" over the years
Yup, for example youtube playlist of good shit of old time, most fucking removed or delisted.

Only memories left. And yet I try and try again to catch the dragon. To find that exact flavor of stupidity prevalent in internets over ten years ago. Even here is changed. Nothing new under the sun yet still stilted.

Or maybe it's just me who changed and too tired now to make reason out of all this fucking noise. I'm tired boss. I'm so tired