Thread 82385028

love is pain, suffering, unfair. so many people put themselves through humiliation rituals just for love. ive humiliated myself for it for so long. im not doing it again. i can't bring myself to do it again. id rather stay a khhv, its better that way

im gonna buy a $4k love doll once he gets rid of me, and he probably will, lets be real. im nothing special. i picked one out that looks the least uncanny. im gonna dress it up, cuddle it to sleep, hold hands with it, and kiss it. a doll cant cheat on me, it cant hurt me, it cant break my heart. a doll can do no wrong. itll probably keep me from killing myself a bit longer cause id feel bad leaving the doll behind

my mother is gonna look at me with disgust (because i live with her) but i couldnt care less at this point, its what i want

>>82385028 (OP)
you are not like amechan

You're seeming a bit more doomer today, Ame. Did anything happen?

>>82385042
i dont wanna be like her

>>82385043
i just woke up in a bad mood today, nothing really happened. if anything i should be really excited because i might get to call and watch a movie with the guy i like but i just dont feel good

my neighbours dog woke me up with its barking. i think i was having a dream about love again. so i was upset it woke me up

>>82385028 (OP)
>im gonna buy a $4k love doll once he gets rid of me
>he
yeah being gay is suffering.
mental illnesses are terrible to live with.

>>82385109
im not gay but im probably mentally ill

>>82385081
Emotions are so affected by chaotic brain chemicals, it happens!! I hope you get to watch with him, though, so it cheers you up!
Do you get to call him often?

>>82385132
they really are... i hope so too cause hearing his voice improves my mood a lot. we dont call often, usually like once a week but sometimes more

>>82385189
>once a week
That has to be tough, that's not very often... At least not to me.
Does he know you're into him, by the way? I can't remember if I've seen you mention.

>>82385208
it is tough, i wish it could be more. at least usually our calls would last hours, but he hasnt been in a talkative mood lately so we usually just watch a movie and then we talk a bit and its done. hoping he gets better soon, but i understand the feel (cause ive gone months not really wanting to talk to people)

he knows, ive told him i love him, he said he liked hearing me say it so thats something

>>82385265
I would very much struggle in your position! My girlfriend and I are in calls 24/7, including sleep and when neither of us are even home, funnily. But before we were dating, we still called about every other day. I'm not necessarily clingy, just very social. I like to be in calls or otherwise hanging out with people basically all the time.

I'm as invested in you and Mr Guy as I am because I always love hearing a happy ending! Plus I'm a big fan of irl romance in general, I just want people to succeed in their love lives. I've been with my girlfriend for 7 years now, it's unfortunately still an LDR but we've met and all that, we just got really screwed over by life, otherwise we'd be living together by now. And I hope for an even better success story for you! Where you actually overcome distance (I assume there's distance if we're talking calls) and love happily!!

>>82385117
you are woemen??

>>82385321
woah, cute! it really sucks you arent able to live together yet tho, whats keeping you both apart? 7 years is a long time to be in an ldr, but its really sweet that youre dedicated to eachother. its always nice to hear ldr success stories

i can get pretty invested into seeing romances pan out as well, tho i think thats cause im lonely and never had anything work out for myself and ive been mistreated a lot

idk if there'll be a happy ending here, i really hope something can come of this, but i dont wanna get my hopes too high. we'll see tho, ill probably keep making threads about it

>>82385385
yah

>>82385438
that is yuor problem. see. uo are woemen. stop beimg woemen and your woe will stop. simple

>>82385438
Don't think too hard about the future, try to enjoy the present, which is a potential day to call and hang with him!
>whats keeping you both apart?
Really just money. I used to make some big buckaroos, but then I started my crippled arc and can't handle work anymore. If I get my disability, I could start saving up for the upfront costs. My gf doesn't work too much, she's struggling with her own stuff, but may be getting on her own disability depending on some stuff.
Oh yeah, also 10k miles of distance and country borders! That's why the cost to move would be so high.

>>82385470
its hard to just enjoy it, cause theres so many things to worry about. tho i should just enjoy today, if he calls, at least

hopefully you can get the disability money soon, it really sucks what happened to you. you should save and move to her as to not deal with the shitty american system anymore. and hopefully she can get on disability as well

disability money is a pretty good lifeline thatd help both of you so much, so im really hoping for you both!

>>82385517
The disability money over there is way more, too! Like... enough to actually live on! Which is crazy to me. Well, it's more crazy that disability here is so tiny and unlivable... Anyways...
It would also be better for my bones, because it's a lot warmer there. Plus, medical stuff would be a million times cheaper! Really, it'd be all around a new, better life if I could make it there. Just waiting patiently, hoping for our sake as well.
If I do get on disability, at least on this claim that I've made (as opposed to having to start a new application), I'd get a lot of backpay which would help tremendously too.

>>82385566
ive heard how little is in america, like i had an online friend whos partner couldnt walk, and he only got around $600 a month. i get double that monthly on mine! idk how they expect people to live off that, thats not even rent???

hopefully you get it this time so you can get that backpay

>>82385028 (OP)
>buying a love doll
cringe
>turning a man into your love doll with lovebombing, conditioning, manipulation
based and pinkpilled

>>82386061
agreed
t. wants to be turned into love doll

>>82386061
doing that just scares off any actual man id wanna attract. i dont wanna be loved (fetishised) for being mentally ill

tho im not a lovebomber or manipulator type of mentally ill im just a depressed needy mentally ill

>>82386087
>i dont wanna be loved (fetishised) for being mentally ill
BASED
So sick and tired of "i can fix her" bs

>>82386113
"i can fix her" guys only make things worse, they dont wanna "fix" anything and when they get tired of your behaviours they'll throw you to the wayside

ive become pretty good at controlling or at least hiding my mental illness behaviours cause i dont want to attract those types of people and i dont wanna put those onto a guy again

>>82386137
What I want is a mentally ill gf because I am depressed myself and I think a normie girl would not understand nor appreciate me. I mean, for them I'm probably a loser manchild. But a mentally ill girl would understand my struggles with finding a job or having friends or getting out of bed and appreciate me for my virtues and my good nature. And we could help each other become better and manage our issues

>>82386161
i mean, ig i understand your reasoning

Ame, what do you do all day while I assume you wait for Mr Guy to talk to you?

>>82385028 (OP)
>once he gets rid of me
fuck you

>>82386288
i usually play video games or listen to music or nap, and i make these threads. i dont do many interesting things

youre up pretty late, anon. shouldnt you sleep soon?

>>82385028 (OP)
>im a khhv
>I have a boyfriend

oh almost cared for a moment, next thread. here's another bump

>>82386345
My autoimmune disorder also gives me a ton of fatigue, so I randomly get tired throughout the day. Plus, I have my PC set up on a desk on wheels right next to my bed, which can move up and down like one of those hospital beds, it's really cool... Anyway I'm set up to always be in bed since I constantly need to lay down and rest in between moments of sitting up for a while, so often times I'll lay down to relax but fall asleep due to the fatigue. So I have no sleep schedule at all! Which is fine, since I have nowhere to go.
Right now I'm filtering through and cropping (if needed) 1461 screenshots of Karen that I've retaken. My folder will be much more enhanced... But I probably won't sleep at least until that's done, I'll push through. For Karen!!!

>>82386381
ohhh okok, so thats why youre up so late sometimes. would be kinda nice to have no sleep schedule, resting whenever you feel like it, but it sucks that its part of your condition. pc on wheels sounds super cool tho!!

thats so many, thatd take a while to sort through. i had to google where the characters from, ive never seen her before, shes really cute

>>82386368
i dont have a boyfriend, i have a crush. sorry for the disappointment tho

>>82386408
She's more adorable in the actual show than in screencaps! She's from England, but of course the voice actresses aren't fluent in English, so she speaks a lot of Engrish, which I'm always a sucker for. Her voice is absolutely saccharine, too. And she's one of those genki happy types that's always skipping around with energy... Ah... My wonderful Karen...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puRTBZIcwFQ
Also picrel, they often dress up the characters in different outfits instead of always being in their uniforms, and I die every time. I love when shows actually dress up the characters!

>>82386432
shes so cute, the va is has pretty good english but the accent she speaks with is super cute!

feels like most shows only have their characters in school uniform, maybe 1 casual thing, and then maybe a swimsuit. its so lame! they should do this more

>>82386463
Even simple outfits like this get the job done. It makes them feel more real, I suppose. Like... they wear things. They go to the store and buy clothes. That they wear. Maybe that sounds dumb.
But now I'm going to be posting a bunch of different Karen outfits!

Also, any update on movie time?

>>82386477
that doesnt sound dumb, i agree with you. it makes them feel more real, and not just like, idk, flat characters

he usually messages me in about 2-3 hours time on a call night, but hes been messaging me pretty late recently, soooo no, no updates yet

>>82386498
I can keep you entertained! Or at least slightly busy. I am quite bored going through and editing 1500 images, after all...
Or perhaps a nap is in order?

>>82386507
thank you anon! how long do you think thats gonna take you? cause thats a lot to go through.
im gonna play some vidya til i get annoyed, which wont take long, i hate multiplayers

>>82386529
I'm 1/3 done so far, but my hands are starting to cramp, so I'll probably be slowing down, taking breaks. Maybe another hour and a half, I have to find a png -> jpg mass converter as well, maybe I'll organize them beyond just chronological appearance as well... This Karen folder will be supreme!
>i hate multiplayers
Then why play them? I used to get mad, too, but now I don't really do anything competitive in vidya.

>>82386550
only and hour and half to do all that?! pretty impressive desu. maybe its a lot less work than it seems

idk, i have wolfenstein but i just dont have the energy to play it yet, so ive been playing this. its the only multiplayer ive played so im a little attached to it (tlou factions)

>>82386590
I was originally going to say an hour, but then I realized I'll probably end up laying down half the time.
>its the only multiplayer I've played
Are you new to gaming in general? Or just multiplayer games? I've taken such a long break from multiplayer games that I get weirdly anxious when playing them now.

>>82386628
laying down half the time and still managing to finish in that short amount of time is even more impressive

new-ish to multiplayer games, ive been playing tlou factions for over a year now, and im still bad at it, so basically new. ive been gaming for years tho, im pretty into game and console collecting

they can be a little anxiety-inducing, maybe its because youre playing.with strangers. do you play many singleplayer games? do you have any favourites?

>>82386408
>I dont have a boyfriend i have a crush

yeah usually what happens when you believe you are better than the people in your own league. self inflicted problems that I dont feel empathy towards.

>>82385028 (OP)
Honestly I can't really say there's anything wrong with this. Enjoy

>>82386408
imagine your crush holding another woman close to him, happy with her, while not knowing you exist. she is with him every night while you have lonely nights. he probably has someone better than you and not nearly as replaceable as you are. to him you are invisible or are only good for distant formal interactions to him. he has options probably, and you are another faceless in the crowd. what do you offer besides sex, anything?

>>82386684
>im pretty into game and console collecting
Oh, to have neetbux... How retro is your collection?
>because youre playing with strangers
Yeah, definitely. But it's weird, because I'm a normie that can go outside and have a conversation with strangers without feeling awkward at all. Playing with my girlfriend is easy of course.
>do you play many singleplayer games?
Hmmm, honestly I'm trying to think but it's hard to remember if I play more multi or singleplayer games, because if I am playing a singleplayer game, it's almost always being streamed to my gf. Or vice versa, she's streaming to me. So pretty much every game is a social experience to me.
>do you have any favourites?
My favorite singleplayer game is Beautiful Katamari. Specifically Beautiful Katamari, not so much the other Katamari games!! Beautiful Katamari just has so much more stuff to roll up.
And then on the other end of the spectrum, I love Ultrakill as well. It's a very close second.
The problem with singleplayer games to me is how they're often very story-driven. While I don't hate stories, I have the attention span of a squirrel, so I often struggle to pay attention to cutscenes and stuff, so I end up losing interest a lot of the time, because I'm missing the meat of the game.

>>82385028 (OP)
did you finally kill yourself yet?

>>82386734
thats so gay stop forcing your weird cuck loneliness fetish on people

>>82386748
right now i only have a ps4, ps3 and gameboy advanced. i have some ps2 games but still need a ps2. so right now its not very retro

could be a little different if youve had toxic experiences in online games before, maybe? what games do you and your gf play?

beautiful katamari looks really cute, ultrakill looks cool and ive heard so many people talk about it, apparently lots of trans people love it? i think?

it sucks you cant pay attention too well, theres so many good stories in games! is it cause of your condition or do you have something like adhd, or is your brain fried?

>>82386381
>My autoimmune disorder also gives me a ton of fatigue,
If you haven't already, do look into fasting.
2-3 days can make you feel loads better (first time doing it kind of sucks, drink water and caffeine). ZERO calories for 3 days.

>>82386867
>ps4, ps3 and gameboy advanced
Humble beginnings... I have most nintendo consoles. The main ones, at least. I was always a nintendo baby growing up, and my mom gave me her NES, SNES and bought me my own N64 when I was little.

>toxic experiences
Not like notably. It's weird!
>what games do you and your gf play?
There's not a very common theme between them, but we've played a lot of the Monster Hunter series, most of the Yakuza series, we sometimes play fighting games, like any of them out there, she'll watch me play Rimworld or Dwarf Fortress, we really branch out to every genre. Except online shooters of all things.

>lots of trans people love it?
Yeah, I'm not really sure why!! There's nothing trans about it specifically. It's kinda like how trans people also like New Vegas.
>katamari
It is very cute! There's Katamari Forever on the PS3 if you're interested in trying one of the games! That one is pretty okay. Beautiful also gets a bunch of bonus points because of nostalgia, though.

>is it cause of your condition
Nah, I just have a lot of adhd symptoms. I'm not diagnosed or anything, but I fit the bill to a T.

>>82386893
That would make sense! Food and its relationship with the gut really do control a lot of the inflammation in the body. Though I wonder if I would just feel immediately tired once I started eating again?

>>82386867
>ew cuckolding
>no u!
>but this is different because I have a crush on him!

you really made a point there, cheers.

>>82385438
>7 years is a long time to be in an ldr,
LOL being alone for 7 years is a lot longer.

>>82387501
>LOL being alone for 7 years is a lot longer.
she isnt really alone she has someone else that kinda keeps her company and whatever works it works. im not complaining!

>>82386087
>i dont wanna be loved (fetishised) for being mentally ill
It's funny how women do this
>oh im so mentally ill no i dont want a mentally ill guy who doesn't want to fix me hes fetishizing me
>no i dont want a guy who wants to fix me hes fetishizing me
>oh im so fat no i dont want a fat guy hes fetishizing me
>no i dont want a chubby chaser hes just fetishizing me
>oh my chest is so flat
>no i dont want a guy who likes flat chests hes just fetishizing me

>>82385028 (OP)
Love doesn't exist.
Or at least the popular understanding of what it is is terminally flawed

>>82387514
Why would you assume I am talking about you or whoever "she" is?

>>82387523
>wow, cute it sucks you cant live together

???

>>82387535
Who are you quoting now? I never said that. I made a statement that being alone for 7 years is worse than an LDR for 7 years then you said she's not alone because someone else keeps her company.

???

>>82387588
ohhh lol thats my queue that im staying up way longer than I should. did not read that correctly. but fair you will find someone soon I wish you the best!