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Thread 82390466

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yuanon No.82390466 >>82390513 >>82391583 >>82391762 >>82393472
/cut/ - Cutters General #595
Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual support

catbro is on his trip edition! :D

heyo!
>How are you doing today?
>Any plans for today?
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
>Why did you hurt yourself?
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
yuanon No.82390473
and
Here's a bunch of helpful links

> long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):
https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7

>a first aid post cuting:
https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/

> wound care guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic

>a bpd workbook:
https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read

>a bpd Information Book (anon said it's exceptionally good)
https://annas-archive.org/md5/1a4f329474320214a120a4d553c6b60c

> bdbt (dialectical behavioral therapy)
workbook is intended for BPD but can work for anyone:
https://cursosdepsicologia.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/THEDIA1.pdf

Please don't post any drastic images and if you have to, spoiler them
Anonymous No.82390513 >>82390665 >>82390890 >>82391583
>>82390466 (OP)
not really into self-harm anymore but I'm kinda suicidal, can suicidebros post in the thread? I think the two things overlap, though, being suicidal made me feel less prone to "regular" self harm, I don't know why
yuanon No.82390665 >>82390707 >>82390877
>>82390513
hi anon!

>I'm kinda suicidal
sorry to hear that. do you want to talk about why?

>can suicidebros post in the thread?
sure. we'll just file it under "mutual support". :>

>I think the two things overlap
true. both override the sense for self-preservation to a degree.

>being suicidal made me feel less prone to "regular" self harm, I don't know why
hm. i've had suicidal thoughts before, but i always knew i would never go that far. i believe that our brains hate nothing more that feeling trapped and even the thought of a way out helps relief that stress somewhat. does that make any sense to you?
Anonymous No.82390707 >>82390877
>>82390665
>even the thought of a way out helps relief that stress somewhat. does that make any sense to you?
nta but it makes sense to me i often think i can choose to kill myself any time i want and its kind of calming knowing that like my brain goes oh i can just kill myself and be dead and dont have to deal with this ever again and that its my choice i have control over it and no one can take it from me except they can because they want me in hospital to stop me doing it
yuanon No.82390877 >>82390890
>>82390665
oh, forgot to ask: how are you? any plans for today?

>>82390707
hi anon! how's it going?

>its kind of calming knowing that like my brain goes oh i can just kill myself and be dead and dont have to deal with this ever again and that its my choice i have control over it and no one can take it from me
my thoughts exactly, but you expressed it way better.
yuanon No.82390890
>>82390513
meant to reply to you in that post >>82390877 , not myself... i'm a bit scatterbrained today
chevalier No.82391583 >>82391735 >>82391762
>>82390466 (OP)
hey yua! weird to see you open the thread instead of /cat/ for once!
I'm doing alright, I'm getting the itch to paint mini's again. I hope that's good! Gonna be doing Ultramarines tho, still traumatized from black templars if I'm being honest. I'll see where I can get some cheap brushes.

>>82390513
Yo anon
>can suicidebros post in the thread?
everyone is welcome as long as you aren't a dick, atleast in my opinion.
>being suicidal made me feel less prone to "regular" self harm, I don't know why
honestly I can understand it. it's probably since both feelings kinda give you a sense of control in the way of you deciding what happens.

anyways hope you're doing atleast okay-ish now. I'm more than willing to listen if you want to share anything
yuanon No.82391735 >>82391890
>>82391583
hey chev!

>weird to see you open the thread instead of /cat/ for once!
it does feel a bit weird. i even had to search for a nice hooni pic as well. the ones that catbro send me were on my old phone. :p

>I'm getting the itch to paint mini's again. I hope that's good!
lets gooo! :D have fun! i'm testing my new pc rn. so far it seems to work fine.

>Gonna be doing Ultramarines tho, still traumatized from black templars if I'm being honest.
first every thing i tried to paint was black legion. i know your pain.

>I'll see where I can get some cheap brushes.
does your store sell davinci brushes? those are usually decent for the price
/cat/ !!SgPoFc5Qpgy No.82391762 >>82391890 >>82391957
Hey Hey Hey :DD
I've arrived to my destination and chilling im bed B3
gonna go to the beach tomorrow

>>82390466 (OP)
Thank you for the thread!!
How are youu?
Oi see you got your pc :3

>>82391583
Heya
>I'm doing alright, I'm getting the itch to paint mini's again
that's a good thing to hear
and ooaa what kind of fig are you going to paint?
chevalier No.82391890 >>82392003 >>82392415
>>82391735
>catbro send me were on my old phone. :p
haha damn, idk how much shit got lost when my pc died and frankly i don't wanna know. prolly lost a lot of music and funny reaction pics tho.
>i'm testing my new pc rn. so far it seems to work fine.
oo have fun, i'm currently fighting the urge to boot up medieval 2 and play that for 10 hrs. what pc did you get?
>first every thing i tried to paint was black legion. i know your pain.
i was actually gonna do that instead of black templars at first but the intricate designs and stuff scared me off. if only i chose that instead. I now have a hatred for white cloaks.
>does your store sell davinci brushes? those are usually decent for the price
my lgs store doesn't, but i do know a store where they do. i'm not sure if they have the ones i need tho.

>>82391762
hey cat!
>I've arrived to my destination and chilling im bed B3
glad you arrived safely ehehe. hope you're having fun there.
>gonna go to the beach tomorrow
have fun there!!
>and ooaa what kind of fig are you going to paint?
i still got this primaris captain(picrel) i gotta do. i'll paint it as an ultramarine i think, if i still have my macragge blue laying around that is, I'll go get calgar blue as a hightlight color tho, mixing it myself it always turns out very inconsistent.
yuanon No.82391957 >>82392003
>>82391762
>I've arrived to my destination and chilling im bed B3
well deserved. (^-^) hope everything went smoothly.

>gonna go to the beach tomorrow
hope you'll have fun. what will you do there?

>Thank you for the thread!!
my pleasure. it was a bit nervewracking, but it went up no problem.

>Oi see you got your pc :3
i do. :D just played some dawn of war and checked out peak, but i fell of a cliff and broke my legs, so it's back to dow for now. ^^'
/cat/ !!SgPoFc5Qpgy No.82392003 >>82392415 >>82393372
>>82391890
>glad you arrived safely ehehe.
thank you :3
hope you're having fun there.
I am :D
gonna eat some fish tomorrow
>primaris captain(picrel) i gotta
they all look so complicated
>macragge blue laying around that is, I'll go get calgar blue as a hightlight color tho,
so many colors I've never heard about ^^
hope it comes out okay

>>82391957
>hope everything went smoothly.
it did
had a nap on the train too
>what will you do there?
frigging chilax and go into the see any go eat fish later
>was a bit nervewracking, but it went up no problem.
phew
I'm very glad about that
>some dawn of war
how u like it?
>but i fell of a cliff and broke my leg
hehe ^^
/cat/ !!SgPoFc5Qpgy No.82392200 >>82392415 >>82393514
I'll be heading to bedz goodnight friends;!
yuanon No.82392415 >>82393372 >>82393514
>>82391890
>idk how much shit got lost when my pc died and frankly i don't wanna know. prolly lost a lot of music and funny reaction pics tho.
yeah. i've also bought so many games on launchers i don't want to touch anymore. that stuff is better left forgotten.

>i'm currently fighting the urge to boot up medieval 2 and play that for 10 hrs.
i could tell you that you could just play it less, but we both know that won't happen. ^^

>what pc did you get?
uh... one a friend recommended me. it was on sale during gamescom and since i have no clue i just trusted him that this one would be alright. i can send you the components if you want.

>the intricate designs and stuff scared me off
chaos has become one of the most annoying armies to paint over the years. even people who paint minis for a living bitch about the trims on csm armor whenever they have to paint one. not sure how normal painters are supposed to deal with that.

>I now have a hatred for white cloaks.
as you should.

>my lgs store doesn't, but i do know a store where they do. i'm not sure if they have the ones i need tho.
you just go and get whatever is convenient for you.

>>82392003
>had a nap on the train too
good thing you didn't miss your station :0

>frigging chilax and go into the see any go eat fish later
sounds like a day on the beach alright. :>

>how u like it?
it's still the same game it was 20 years ago. it's fun enough. tbf, now just sitting here and waiting for silksong to be released tomorrow.

>>82392200
sleep tight!
chevalier No.82393372 >>82393517
>>82392003
>gonna eat some fish tomorrow
nice, I love fish.
>they all look so complicated
i'm prolly gonna regret it ahaha
>so many colors I've never heard about ^^
it's basically js like a normal blue, they just give it funny names.
>hope it comes out okay
thank you

>>82392415
>. that stuff is better left forgotten.
yeah fair, i only rlly use steam anyways.
>but we both know that won't happen. ^^
i gave in but managed to temper myself (partially due to being upset that those filthy german are setting my battering rams on fire), started a campaign as denmark on VH/VH, first time i'm doing a campaign on VH/VH (usually play N/VH) but it actually seems easier than what i normally play, decided to only fight the HRE and i've pretty much conquered all of germany by now on turn 15. venice decided to venice tho and they sneak attacked me at Vienna, luckily I don't mind losing that so much. NOTHING CAN STOP THE FURY OF THE NORTH
>i can send you the components if you want.
sure go ahead.
>about the trims on csm armor whenever they have to paint one.
i know everyone hates ksons for some reason, probably that reason.
>you just go and get whatever is convenient for you.
i'll see haha
Anonymous No.82393472 >>82393517 >>82393587
>>82390466 (OP)
Guys I'm feeling weird I feel super energetic and wired/euphoric and have bad insomnia due to the energy and also feel depressed and like wanting to an hero. Wtf is going on and should I go to the hospital
Anonymous No.82393514 >>82393945
>>82392200
Ok goodnight!!!!
>>82392415
How do I come out
yuanon No.82393517 >>82393547 >>82393587
>>82393372
>i only rlly use steam anyways.
yeah, i was forced to use origin for some stuff, but i don't even care enough about those games to bother with that. i'll check out gog galaxy, though. supporting european busnisses and all that.

>partially due to being upset
best way to limit your gaming time. only play games that upset you at some point.

>it actually seems easier than what i normally play
odd, but sometimes the devs don't really know what's actually hard and what isn't. maybe it's just buggy or you just got that much better?

>i've pretty much conquered all of germany by now on turn 15.
good job. ^^ i always played spain so all i could fight was portugal and france. i got excommunicated a lot...

>NOTHING CAN STOP THE FURY OF THE NORTH
\o/

>sure go ahead
will send it on discord, but tomorrow. i'm a bit tired. (~.~)

>i know everyone hates ksons for some reason, probably that reason.
i can see it. hard colours to paint (light blue and yellow) and very segmented armor. would annoy me, too.

>>82393472
hey anon. did you consume anything that would explain it? it's odd that you feel depressed and energetic at the same time.

>Wtf is going on and should I go to the hospital
maybe you should call there first and make sure they can help you? is calling an ambulance an option?
Anonymous No.82393547 >>82393945
>>82393517
Nope I just feel weird and am too exited to sleep too much.
chevalier No.82393587 >>82393605 >>82393945
>>82393472
to me it sounds like maybe a manic episode or something. you have a history with stuff like that?

>>82393517
>i'll check out gog galaxy, though. supporting european busnisses and all that.
first time i've heard about that. I'll check it out
>only play games that upset you at some point.
that's most games for me. usually it works but sometimes i get so salty i wanna prove the game itself wrong and end up playing even longer. endgame medieval 2 is pretty guilty of that. sometimes it takes me multiple hours for a single turn
>maybe it's just buggy or you just got that much better?
well the ai is notably shit in that game, but also i do think i got a lot better. I've been able to win sieges a lot more atleast. except for the ones where they throw burning oil on all my shit lmao, i did rush a lot since I decided to follow legend of total war's rapid expansion strategy and thus don't have any like artillery or stuff.
>i always played spain so all i could fight was portugal and france.
spain is one of my fav factions, they have a good unit roster and starting scenario. I tried turks n stuff but I have no goddamn idea how to use mounted ranged units. denmark so far has been fun but they're a lot slower since they only have 1 starting city and only really one way to go (scandinavia is barren as fuck).
>i got excommunicated a lot...
same, usually i just send a whole priest squad along with the campaign's first crusade so I can have a monopoly on the cardinals for basically forever. no crusade yet in my campaign tho, i'll prolly ask for one once i can bust the HRE.
>but tomorrow. i'm a bit tired. (~.~)
its alright, me too lol
>would annoy me, too.
yeah, it's a cool faction tho.
Anonymous No.82393605 >>82393644
>>82393587
No but I have family history my father and mothers side. Is this dangerous
chevalier No.82393644 >>82393654
>>82393605
eh depends, might be a sign of underlying mental health problems or not. prolly wouldn't go to the hospital over it. depending on how good and accessible mental healthcare is where ur at you could get it checked out if you want to. up to you tho, whatever makes u feel comfortable. is this the first time it happened? cus then it also might just be a one time thing, the human body is fucking strange.
Anonymous No.82393654 >>82393670
>>82393644
What if I'm only sleeping 40 minutes a night is this sustainable
chevalier No.82393670 >>82393683
>>82393654
definitely not, but i do the same. i got like really bad insomnia tho. talk to a professional about it tho, they might be able to help u.
Anonymous No.82393683 >>82393709
>>82393670
I heard it could lead to psychosis
chevalier No.82393709
>>82393683
maybe? I'm not an expert on this in the slightest so ig don't take my word for it but personally i've never had psychosis directly related to sleep deprivation. i did have pretty bad hallucinations at one point tho, so it's prolly still a good idea to fix ur sleeping pattern.
yuanon No.82393945 >>82394143
>>82393514
>How do I come out
what do you mean?

>>82393547
>Nope I just feel weird and am too exited to sleep too much.
maybe take a hot shower? that can help make you sleepy.

>>82393587
>first time i've heard about that. I'll check it out
gog (good old games) is pretty cool. as the name suggest, they do a lot of game preservation work.

>usually it works but sometimes i get so salty i wanna prove the game itself wrong and end up playing even longer.
the only games that really got under my skin like that were mobas, so i decided to not play them anymore. i get way to angry when i do...

>sometimes it takes me multiple hours for a single turn
gonna micro-manage the shit out of that turn. ^^ worst it ever got for me was a 9 hours civ 6 session. only game i ever played, but i definitely had enough of civ after that.

>the ai is notably shit in that game
word.

>i did rush a lot since I decided to follow legend of total war's rapid expansion strategy and thus don't have any like artillery or stuff.
never heard of that before. how does that work?

>they have a good unit roster and starting scenario.
that's why i usually chose the. the italian city states are fun as well. never played holy roman empire, though. always seemed like a lot of land that's hard to defend.

>I have no goddamn idea how to use mounted ranged units
can't they use this weird circle formation?

>i just send a whole priest squad along with the campaign's first crusade
you know way more about the systems and how to game them than i do.

>it's a cool faction tho.
always was, but they suffer from that they were the first big legion to get a codex and models and they still don't have any dedicatd tanks. chaos-tanks in general need a refresh as soon as possible.

i'll head to bed now. good night!
chevalier No.82394143
>>82393945
>they do a lot of game preservation work.
that's pretty cool. so many games i vaguely remember from my childhood that i wish were preserved.
>gonna micro-manage the shit out of that turn.
yep, managing 70 settlements and 15 armies will do that to ya. last time i'll ever go for a world conquest.
>how does that work?
basically just the complete opposite of turtling. just attack and conquer as much as possible, the consequence is that you develop your settlements a lot slower (since most of your money is spent on military) and thus are mostly reliant on mercs, not my favorite playstyle late game, but it helps you gather as much shit early game as possible when it's easiest to do so.
>the italian city states are fun as well.
only one i plated was milan, definitely one of my favorite factions ever since they get full rosters from both castles and towns.
>never played holy roman empire, though. always seemed like a lot of land that's hard to defend.
it's not so bad since you get alot of starting military too and the central location means you get to expand in ever direction. they have a very balanced roster too and their cav is really good at countercav since they have maces. my only gripe is that a lot of their cool units are gunpowder ones (most of the time i don't get that far), and their gothic knights kinda suck due to no shields (basically more expensive broken lances/famiglia ducale) they do get their exclusive crusaders in the form of teutonic knights tho
>can't they use this weird circle formation?
doesn't actually do anything. its purely cosmetic other than it changing their formation a bit. atleast from my experience.
>good night!
goodnight
>