Thread 82462951

Can you fake being sexually experienced as a total virgin?
If so, how can I avoid suspicion?

You need to be able to describe how the vagina and/or penis feels like

>>82462997
Nigga how do you even get to the point where you have to describe how they feel like to a girl you wanna court?

>>82463020
If you're showing signs that you're inexperienced then they'll pick up on that and ask questions to trip you up

>>82462997
bags of milky sand and coins

>>82462951 (OP)
You can

t. yours truly
I'm a virgin in the sense that I've never put my penis inside a pussy, but somehow I've kissed, hugged, held hands, had blowjobs/handjobs

I don't know man, no one wants to see me naked I guess

>>82463075
You will need a really convincing back story, I literally had a girl on a date ask me about my past experiences
They can pretty much tell just by looking at you

>>82462951 (OP)
I'm a virgin foid and I got fingered in a man's car and he thought I was NOT a virgin but I actually was and then he bailed on the plan to go all the way

>>82462951 (OP)
How old are you, and are you asking preemptively for the future, or are you in a situation where you want to avoid suspicion?

>>82464710
I wonder what the reason is in these cases. It's hard to believe it's a noble one.

>>82462951 (OP)
It's mostly about if you're awkward or not. Three different women all think they took my virginity when they didn't and I've never bothered to correct them or explain I'm just autistic and awkward.

I'm a virgin at 27, I had chances in the past to lose it but honestly I don't care since my ex broke my soul and after that I felt unable to love again. If get to date again, I will be very honest to the woman, and if she gets the "ick", I won't give a shit.

>>82462951 (OP)
It's hard to say for certain but my first girlfriend doubted I was a virgin after we had sex a few times. She said I was "too good at it for that to be true. Sorry I just don't believe you anymore." Probably all some psycho-manipulative thing really who gives a shit one way or another.

She also cried about me not reaching orgasm "fast enough", she said it made her feel insecure. The reality of this stuff is pretty fucking weird so my advice is stop being such a self-centered retard and consider others not just yourself.

The reality is most likely that whatever mental issues your partners have are going to be way more insane than you think yours are. Unless you get really lucky and meet the one human being on the planet who is sane.

>>82462997
>You need to be able to describe
Cottage cheese carts overflowing with billowing puffs of floral scented tropical bubble bath.

This is a famous joke in south-east Asia (probably spread by sailors) that young girls (highschoolers, etcetera) use to test whether a guy is a virgin.

>Girls have four mouths.
Virgin response:
>What? Wait *counting* there's that hole and ... what?
Sex haver response:
>Oh yeah? Prove it.

So you should observe the main difference between a virgin is that the non-virgin doesn't give a shit.

My first girlfriend asked me this in 2003 so the origin is certainly NOT Shimoneta, and the general idea is not held only in Japan.

The explanation she offered was that the kneepits were the third and fourth mouths. Alternatives are a variety of old memes (1950s, 1970s) and the evidence mostly exists post WW2 occupation by the Americans. So in general even if the origin wasn't occupying forces that occupation was culturally transformative in such a way as to directly affect the meme and spread it throughout southeast Asia.

It's one of those phrases which is very difficult to pin down and obviously did exist in the common word-of-mouth lexicon of a variety of cultures without being recorded in literature. Such idiomatic ironic absurdist or surrealist comedy is very common.

I've done this before, all you need to do is be a retard.

>>82463020
>cant use his imagination
>cant google
good one nigga

>>82465437
>She also cried about me not reaching orgasm "fast enough", she said it made her feel insecure.
lmao what.
RIP for us mutilated guys I guess.

>>82465701
It's sort of porn addiction. You get too used to jerking off to porn so you need visual stimulation rather than physical. Sex is mostly about physical, tactile, scents, sounds and so on. It's not very visual overall at least the visuals you DO get are way different than a 3rd person perspective. You certainly aren't going to see any ballcam or some homo shit like that. Women some of the time base their ego or self confidence on feedback, and so if you're the guy in the relationship you need to be balancing between letting her know how good she is (actions, not words) and not looking like a desperate dependent git incel or so on.

It's not easy to handle especially these days with tons of women having porn addictions and FUCKED UP senses of what relationships or sex are really all about.

Having girlfriends say they want to do anal then taking a self-confidence hit when I say like, "that's where you shit from, sorry I'm not into that." is weird as hell dude. I'm not going to say they're "bad women", just that their priorities are FUCKED. Like I'd much rather she be romantic or something, it doesn't need to be cliche but I mean come on it's as basic as a hug or something for fuck sake. Anal though? WHAT THE FUCK.

>I want to shit on your dick.
No thank you, I appreciate the offer but no.
>STOP LOOKING DOWN ON ME *TEARS*
Can't you just ask me for a hug or something? What's wrong with you?

>>82462951 (OP)
Yes. Each inch of height over 6 feet is equivalent to 1 year of sexual experience. Each inch of dick length over 6.5 inches is equivalent to 10 years of sexual experience.

>>82465843
>Each inch of dick length over 6.5 inches is equivalent to 10 years of sexual experience.
Bop her cervix like a mallet smoking a gong.

BOOP HER POOPER

>>82465868
If your dick is really that big, she'll be cumming before you're even half way in. If your dick reaches the posterior and anterior fornix, nothing else matters.
>women don't like big dicks bro it hurts when you hit their cervix
dicklet cope

>>82463020
>Nigga how do you even get to the point where you have to describe how they feel like to a girl you wanna court?
Tell her like this:
>brb gotta fap dude
She replies
>how does it feel in your hand?
Tell her.

Secret info: women like to suck cock because it turns them on. Younger women typically fantasize about simple stuff like feeling you get hard in their hand. Her reaching down or up your pants (loose fit boxer shorts are a favorite) is something they can't resist. It's for them having their fantasies turn real. No way they'll let the opportunity go and miss their chance. Ultimate proof they're into you when she does that sort of thing instantly.

>>82465913
Believe it or not I've hit every girlfriend I've had, and none of them enjoy it. They say it "definitely hurts worse than getting kicked in the balls as hard as possible." They'll follow that up by "it's okay though don't stop."

Sex is the ultimate game of being fucking fake and lying. If you think normal relationships or interactions between people are a big deal it's no wonder you're an incel. Nobody is ever more full of shit about how they feel than during sex.

>>82462951 (OP)
Before i realized i wasnt gay id make dinner and shit and make sweet love to my mannequin i named daquantavius with dildo and nuts.

>>82465949
Shoulda put some bewbs on it too queer

The cervix lengthens and descends during ovulation and becomes more sensitive. It mostly depends upon sex positions and her body posture. It's easy to find positions where it isn't an issue but a lot of her most pleasureful positions make it far more likely to hit the cervix. Basically it lines up like a target for your beam cannon.

Since its descent and sensitivity reflect the end of ovulation and fertility it's probably part of the natural demotivation for sex to become less pleasurable afterward. In my experience though she'll still be spotting and horny as hell, all through ovulation and beyond. She never stops it isn't like she suddenly switches gears or something. Only difference I notice is when she's sticky and swollen she gets off way harder and faster. Some women multiple times even. I'd argue that until you've blown inside a fully swollen vagina after multiple orgasms you're technically still a virgin as a guy.

>>82465988
Does your dick feel really tingly? And your head gets all woozy?

Yep i larped as a sex haver when i was 16 and got a gf from /b/ advice and got absolutely clowned on for following sex advice from /b/ in 2009

>>82466122
You realize you're a true robot. Not made of metal and minerals. Not programmed with code. A machine that obeys rules, but not rules like we have in what we call a "fair" game. Rules that are made to be broken, rules that are rewritten. Rules made of clay, made to be molded from the will.

A meat machine.

A meat machine obeys meat rules in a game of meat versus meat. Meat meets meat.

>>82466132
>in 2009
Okay noob. I had an office job working for a corporation as an executive in 2009. I first had somethingawful linked to me in the late 1990s like 1999. 4chan was discussed in late 2004 - 2005 and I had a link sent when the site had only five or so forums. I think a, b, w x, z or something weird like that. Seemed fucked up so I never actually posted on 4chan seriously until 2019.

4chan is basically all the pedo anime furry losers that got banned from somethingawful for being fucking freaks. The most insane part of it is they took it seriously and offensively, while lowtax was doing them a fucking favor.

I never signed up for somethingawful either, I mean the humor was fine in a super autistic way. Auto-Ismos though means "self - state of being", it means to fucking isolate yourself. So the idea of a forum for these freaks is self-contradictory.

I'm wrong though. Autism - Auto-Ismos comes from a description by generalization. We now know that the "disorder" is actually a different means of thinking, albeit detrimental in general due to normalization and regression toward the mean it also facilitates "thinking outside the box" and such. So in reality it's more a trade-off. We also were stuck on the idea that autistic persons couldn't empathize with ordinary persons for a long time, not realizing in fact autistic persons empathize and communicate with other autistic persons far more effectively than ordinary persons with other normies.

So in that light it's just a trade-off like any evolutionary process. It hasn't been removed from the gene pool. In fact it's self-reinforcing and includes a ton of behaviors that have huge benefits for society at large during periods of upheaval or distress.

In that light self-isolating to form groups of individuals who share things in common is entirely natural.

>>82466358
It's not a competition you goon lmfao

>>82462951 (OP)
The pussy hole is RIGHT NEXT to the butthole. It's kinda crazy. If you get it in first try you're basically a pro. I still have trouble with it in certain positions

>>82465437
>>82465824
>s sort of porn addiction. You get too used to jerking off to porn so you need visual stimulation rather than physical.
>She also cried about me not reaching orgasm "fast enough"
Kek so true.
I lost virginity for an escort I had great difficulty cumming. With viagra erection stayed but I just couldn't cum. I fucked her for like 40 minutes total, changing poses and switching bettwen blowjob and sex, in the end she just tiredly preferred to lie down and me do all work.
And she indeed was sort of pissed, and told lines like "don't you like what you see, c'mon where is orgasm"? Her professional women's pride was definitely hurt.
And like I guy said it's difference between porno and life. I see as accustomed to different visuals and real sex was vastly different. I finally came when closed eyes and was invoking porn fetish roleplay scenario in my mind.

>>82466465
>It's not a competition you goon lmfao
Everything's a competition if you make it one.

>>82466581
With an escort you need to question whether you were really into it for that reason too. My first girlfriend was a half Asian who I think fetishized me as a white guy, since her father was. I wasn't really insecure as I imagine it might be with a hooker (no idea, never paid a prostitute before) but I didn't like her taking photos of me and her together to send to her friends. It wasn't like she was into me, it was like she was objectifying me to show off and the "posing" for her friends seemed so fake. That sort of sucked. At the same time though she seemed into me so meh.

Yeah, real life is way more complicated than porn. I used to think I was insecure as a guy, but until I was with her I had no idea. Since then I know women are waaaay more insecure than I am and it makes me feel sort of guilty. I try to avoid taking advantage of them, but at the same time I feel insecure because it feels like they're insecure. What I really want is someone into me who is secure in themselves. Sadly that's super, super rare to find someone who really is able to stand on their own and feel proud to be themselves.

>>82462951 (OP)
grim, dude. I know the feeling. everyone asked me for relationship/sex advice back in highschool because I was the first to get a gf and kept the same gf all the way through it. secretly it was sexless so I was literally making everything up and hoping no one noticed.

My first time though I mean like, that was what three or four minutes totally normal. She said my cum grunts were super hot so after that I started saying "reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" instead to make fun of her. I don't think she liked it but she made this pirate smirk grin face which was pretty cool since I said the hottest O-face she could do would be like if she was a female pirate captain riding a cannon into battle.

What made me take longer was me trying to last longer, which I think was dumb. If you go longer than 8 minutes or so she's going to get sore for sure no matter how wet she is unless you've got a tiny soft supple noodle cock. The mistake was me being young and thinking I should last as long as a dude in a porno. WRONG. That made her feel super insecure.

Best thing you can do is be continuously observant of body language and so on from your partner. Never stop focusing on her.

>>82466778
we had this silly joke about one of my friends always being mentioned, so when I was getting a blowjob she tried to say his name at the same time. so there's this memory in my brain of my girlfriend trying to say his name with my dick in her mouth and her and Iaughing about it. I wonder what he would think about that

"Does it feel good?" is something a moron would ask. She's going to fucking lie based on what she thinks you want to hear. If she feels good it's going to be so obvious you'd have to be blind, deaf and retarded not to notice.

Best thing is A/B testing. If you think she likes it, switch it up and try something else. If she physically goes back to A from the B option or asks you to, do it because that confirms she liked it right there.

>>82466826
>I wonder what he would think about that
I don't know what Ombophuphschmk would think but ...

>>82466898
more like dallltiio illlson

>>82467233
Tell her to use more tongue and lips.

>>82467243
tldr we never fucked and she broke up with me and got pregnant with her childhood best friend neighbor like 100 days after I left. basically imagine my self esteem and self worth is a basketball hoop and her neighbor just slam dunked it for like several hours in a row. even I found it funny, and the joke was all on me

>>82467243
what really crippled me was when the relationship was dead and over, she came over and hung out, but she went straight to the bunkbed. she stayed up there and eventually texted me to come up and i did and ended up eating her out, and she grabbed me and said "how did you do that". and that's been messing with me for a decade. what did she mean.

>>82466686
True and you just lost the game

>>82462951 (OP)
Just fuck anon. Your instincts will guide you. Don't say anything about it and let the foid draw her own conclusions.

>>82467906
>lost the game
I wish. This is the game that never ends. When experience ceases you have no way to know the game has ended, but during the game you experience everything unable to recall when it all began. A game with no rules is no game at all, yet here we are all playing forever. Not playing was never an option.

The only way to be certain you never win in a game of chance is to refuse to play.

>>82462951 (OP)
It isn't hard. Just don't focus on yourself, pay attention to her and learn some basic shit and you'll be better than most guys.

>>82462951 (OP)
For me, it's one of the reasons why I used escorts in my 20s. I got enough experience to avoid any virgin accusations that would nope out all foids; if I ever get a willing one. TFW 39 and still waiting. Can't even get a GILF.
I guess some tricks would be: make sure you rubbed one out beforehand, kiss slowly without tongues, and take your time. They usually like being kissed on the neck, and slowly massage their body. Don't grab their pussy, just rub the inner thighs. Be gentle with the tits/nipples. She'll get wet and opened up.

>>82465925
>younger women like feeling you get hard in your pants
True

>>82465824
>you need to be balancing between letting her know how good she is (actions, not words) and not looking like a desperate dependent git incel or so on.
Are you saying I have to coom in 4-7 minutes range or she will leave me?