Thread 82484333

Today I turn 38. The only peoole who have said anything have been my mother and my grandmother.
I haven't been able to find work, so I'm broke. I haven't heard from friends since I had a full emotional and psychological breakdown a couple years ago and spent some time in the psych ward on suicide watch. Despite reaching out.
Over the last decade I've become increasingly socially isolated, alienated, and depressed. I'm tired of social issues. I'm tired of politics. I hardly take pleasure in the hobbies that used to be a place of refuge for me.
I am immensely depressed today. Earlier this week I had a couple of broken teeth pulled so my face is swollen and painful. I am broke. I am lonely. Everywhere I turn I mean nothing and am expendable. I have faith in nothing. I have no sense of hope or positivity. I've seen too much, felt too much, and I know too much.
Why bother living?

for what it's worth, happy birthday anon. it's not your fault at all how things turned out in life. most people are broke and unemployed at the moment so it's not just you, if that's any comfort.

a lot of it is just perception I find. like, if you're in a miserable place but you can find it in you to still admire your surroundings, you get far happier. I live in shithole England where it's grey everyday and rains constantly and all the buildings are dilapidated, but I find good in it. the fresh rain smell is nice. walking at night in the rain with an umbrella is comforting. sometimes if I wake up early enough before the rainclouds come in, I can sit up and watch the sun rise.

it's all a matter of what you see and do. probably get off 4chan, I can't imagine that's doing you much good. most social media and news at the moment is fucking miserable actually. even though you have no motivation, try to force yourself to do things. force yourself to read a few pages of a book every night, or to watch a new movie, etc. eventually it comes to fruition and you can move forward.

happy birthday brah
i was there 5 years ago but miracle happend and they happen

>>82484333 (OP)
>I have no sense of hope
>Why bother living?

your sense of hope should be the same for any other hopeless loser. robot girlfriends which will come in the next 10 years and will be indistingishable from real girls

you did not mention if you were a robot or not.... hrmmm.... are you some kind of sexhaving normie who didnt get laid for a day or something?

Happy birthday, anon. I don't have much to say but I wish you the best