Thread 82541736

Are you schizoid or avoidant?

I've always been the latter, but have started thinking more schizoid lately. A lot more.
Read a book about this behavior and apparently AvPD > Schizoid > Schizophrenic is a consistent pattern.
Scary.

>>82541736 (OP)
my brain was created by a mighty powerful wizard 1000 years ago to topple the ruling elite and create a new world order

>>82541758
Oh hey neat
Did you start avoidant and progress to your current state? Or were you always like this?

>>82541736 (OP)
Thats concerning. I used to be avoidant but now i am more schizoid. My dad also has schizophrenia lol

>>82541768
that's a lot of assumptions in one reply

realistically i think im avoidant because there's one large thing that distinguishes me from schizoids

im a faggot who's preoccupied with what people think of me and i act emotionally / in a way to be seen by others

my brother is a true schizoid tho he couldn't give a single F about people

Avoidant but it's hard to tell

>>82541736 (OP)
I'm not avoidant, I will talk to people if I have to. I feel more like a schizoid because I always prefer to be alone, even when I'm having fun with other people I still think that I could've the same fun alone in that same moment.

Schizoid, have a really hard time responding to praise and have had to fake everything since I was a little kid. Everything is about control to me. My mom used to cry and scream at me for not wanting to hug LOL because it hurt her feelings. I kiss her ass now as an adult, she's like mentally 12 and always moody because she's on ozempic. I just feed her what she wants to hear and constantly walk on eggshells. I try to make friends with women but I can tell they are freaked out by me. This woman in a server I am in recently confessed to me in dm she liked my opinions and a woman in another server backs me up when men get shitty with me but I'm just too weird and retarded to know how to be their friends. I have a really hard time remembering shit about people. I tried to get a diagnosis back in my 20's when I still cared more and they normalfag psych couldn't figure me out lol. I'm just weird

>>82541986
Are you DX'ed? Alot of those sound simply like symptoms of being fucked, and id know

>>82542169
Not diagnosed and am antipsych and never going back to one of those people again. They wasted thousands of my dollars to just say "idk my bff jill"

I have no friends and I try my best to keep it that way. I base my life around avoiding other people as much as I possibly can. I never go outside. I have zero ability to feel joy or pleasure. The only thing that separates me from a schizoid is that I often feel negative emotions like anger (which schizoid people are particularly incapable of feeling).

>>82541736 (OP)
what book?
i don't even know anymore i feel like many disorders read like horoscopes and i could just pick one. except schizophrenia because obviously i don't have any hallucinations.

>>82542178
yeah that's pretty much same as me

i pay psychs just to yell at a brick wall and be told "have you tried meditating"

>>82542184
i have no friends but i think thats more due to being autistic and not knowing how to talk to people + avoidant = huge social anxiety + attention deficit = can't follow simple convos

>>82541736 (OP)
I'm not diagnosed but I'm pretty sure I'm schizoid, nearly all the signs and symptoms fit me to a t

>>82542239
those being? (curious)

>>82542257
Overarching objective of my life is being alone as much as possible, highly limited emotion and affect (joy especially), everything feels like a chore, don't really care about people. I could go on but these are the big ones

>>82542300
yeah that's kinda fair but i think you should still talk to a do to determine if you're actually schizoid cause tons of people bullshit about their symptoms so they can feel like a schizoid sigma

>>82542350
to a psychiatrist * damn phone

>>82542350
Sounds like a normoid concern to have, it's not treatable anyway so why the fuck would I care about going to a shrink

>>82542364
can't say ur schiz if you don't

>>82542389
Oh no my life is over

>>82542395
that's a pretty emotional response for a schiz, a schiz would already have been tired by this semantic

>>82542221
you can also learn how to talk to people if you're autistic, you just have to really focus on it and put in measurable effort into not being autistic

>>82542644
you can try but very strenuously and eventually i give up and unmask after 10 seconds. normies do it effortlessly like they breathe, as an autist you actively have to run on 2 amputated legs

>>82542680
>Eventually i give up
I mean there's your problem. It's not an overnight fix.

>>82542688
right... as if i didn't have a 5 years long period of trying to socializationmaxx until i was so exhausted i stopped trying altogether

>>82542692
what did you do? if it didn't work then you were probably doing something wrong

>>82542702
it worked and i made some friends but i always had to focus 1000% on what to say and figuring out what they just said meant

made even worse by the fact i have sensory issues which makes it so i can't understand what people are saying half of the time (perfect hearing)

so id just go like, "huh?" and then they'd go "forget it"

and attentional issues making it so my brain takes at least 10 seconds to process what was said to me, 10 seconds to formulate an answer and an extra 10 seconds to formulate an answer

trust me, i tried to study how normal people talked, i got into normie shit and all and i started speaking up more, but socialization advice only works if you're normal, or at least a sperg with no attentional issues

im a whole another level of retard, let face it. i cant even make friends on discord despite talking on servers everyday lol

>>82541736 (OP)
I am avoidant with some traits of SzPD. Doubt I'll ever have schizophrenia as nobody in my extended family has it. But a lot of people on both my mom and dad's side are very introverted, some could be schizoids too.
As a kid, I had an OK childhood but my dad was kinda absent and my mom was probably not as cuddly and loving as other moms. I never quite got along with most kids at school and always had very few friends. Later found out I'm high IQ which is likely why I find most people boring and I feel no desire to interact with them. Ended up taking refuge in computers/tech/vidya and ended up working in electrical engineering.

>>82541736 (OP)
AvPD, schizoid, and schizophrenia are all different disorders with different causes. There's no pipeline leading from one to another. Schizoid is caused by neglect in early childhood while schizophrenia is largely genetic. I don't know about AvPD but it's not really related to schizoid or schizophrenia at all. The only commonality here is that prolonged isolation can cause psychosis. Frankly I think schizoid is closer to bpd than schizophrenia.
To answer your question though, I'm schizoid.

>>82542790
Schizoid can arise completely from genetics, also there is a slight correlation with AvPD, Schizoid, Schizotypal and Schizophrenia, The former two (besides AvPD) having a higher chance of developing psychosis

>>82542809
Do you have a disc? I wanna talk to you

>>82542809
It seems rare for schizoid to be completely genetic. Borderline personality can arise without apparent cause as well, but it's heavily associated with childhood abuse, especially sexual abuse. Obviously genes do play a role in both, but there are clear triggers unlike with schizophrenia. All mental disorders are correlated, so I don't think that matters much.
Schizoid is really characterized by intense reliance on splitting (just like bpds), I don't think that's typical of AvPD (granted, I don't know much about this disorder), Schizotypal, or schizophrenia. The fantasy is just a safe place where you can be omnipotent and shut out a dangerous, uncaring world.

did you guys have any gf or experiences in your life? how was your relationship with love and identity in general? i had two real crushes (and many fictional) in my life and i always used to feel like them, like i actually was their identity and would try to copy them hard subconsciously. i just made it to 22 and i cope with reading fics on ao3. but most of the time i don't care. it's like some brief realizations of how lonely i feel coming out of me for days and then shutting off for many months and the cycle repeats.
>>82542790
>>82542809
my deceased grandpa had schizophrenia from a young age and was hospitalized for twenty years, and both me and my mother have all the signs of being schizoid, especially me.

>>82541736 (OP)
avoidant. but schizoid would be better for me.

>>82542871
I've been in relationships but they always fail because my partner is unable to get past my shell and I'm unable to let them in. If someone really understood me, I think a relationship could work but it would be difficult. I'm not really worth the effort, I don't have any great qualities, and my life is objectively rather terrible with no real hopes of improvement. I can be shockingly cold at times, almost cruel in my inability to care about another person. I like being alone and whatever loneliness I feel is generally drowned out by fantasy. I used to rely on drugs but that was just a product of the recklessness of youth.
I don't think I have a proper identity but I don't feel empty like in bpd. I am myself and whoever I am today is just who I am today, it's not something I think hard about.

>>82542844
Nevertheless, Schizoid is generally recognized to consist of the similar negative symptoms like those that make up schizophrenia, while schizotypy incorporates both negative and positive symptoms of schizophrenia, such as perceptual distortions but not full blown hallucinations, paranoia and magical thinking, but consistent personality and no full on delusions.

all 3 conditions have been found to have similar genetic causes, all 3 conditions have similar impacts on parts of the brain and reduced cognitive capabilities, with schizoid representing the least affected, but still susceptible to developing psychosis and cognitive decline in rare cases, schizotypal being representing a cognitive decline and onset of psychosis more similar to schizophrenia but not always, due to other parts of the brain being able to make up for it.

also, i would just like to bring up the example of my brother, schizoid, has always been disinterested in life and people with little to no emotional response or affect, and me who grew up under arguably worse circumstances wet is just autistic / adhd with more emotions and much more interest in others. both of us DX'ed.

>>82542826
sure but i don't really like talking in DMs, hysminea if you want though

>>82542733
I see. I was operating under the assumption that you weren't an actual full on autistic retard, just because of the way people use that word online.

It's good to know that you managed to make friends despite all your issues. do you have any experience with drugs for your retardation?

when i was younger i was a pretty clear case of avoidant but i feel like as i've gotten older i've become more like schizoid and i no longer feel any need for any human contact
my brain probably just broke from the experiences i had and it's possible that i'm just a very broken avpd...basically i'm somewhere in the middle of avpd and szpd currently
there is actually a theory that avoidant, schizoid, schizoaffective and full blown psychosis/schizophrenia are a spectrum and in my experience that seems to be the case

>>82541736 (OP)
I dont think it matters so I dont worry about it.

>>82542915
>similar negative symptoms like those that make up schizophrenia
Depression also has those symptoms and I don't think anyone is saying that depression can turn into, or is related to, schizoid/schizophrenia. I imagine that similar genes are in play for schizophrenia and schizoid, but those same genes are in play with autism. Actually, there's a huge link between autism and schizophrenia, but no one says that autism will lead to schizophrenia or vice versa (I know that's not what you're arguing, but that's what the OP was suggesting). I'm fairly confident that early childhood trauma is the primary predictor of schizoid personality, not genetics. Schizoid symptoms also overlap on NPD and ASPD and, at times, BPD.

>>82542926
never been medicated, except ritalin, which has done nothing for me.

can't wait for meds to be approved to treat autism tho, here's hoping. in the meantime i'll take my GABA, Sulforaphane, NAC and B Complex.

>>82542949

Yes. A lot of new research backs this up and I wouldn't say its much of a theory anymore. Some new, less proven research also shows AvPD may be included in this spectrum.

extremely schizoid, but i've been this way for awhile and haven't progressed in either direction

>>82542984
for me the saddest part is that even if i did get diagnosed with this shit there really isn't real help available
psychiatry is an extremely underdeveloped science if you can even call it a proper science and the outcomes for these disorders even with treatment are pretty damn grim, even as far as any psychiatric disorders go they aren't well researched and iirc szpd has one of the lowest levels of "life success" out of any disorder, the again i don't really care about the criteria the common public judges me as so maybe it's not as bad as i think it is
i am diagnosed with major depression and agoraphobia (which seems to get better the longer i live and the more apathetic i get) and i am on bupropion and beta blockers which funnily enough are listed as possible treatment for szpd (bupropion for anhedonia and beta blockers for whatever)
funny how they managed to get the medication right but not the disorders

>>82542971
There is research that shows that Autism and Schizophrenia have very similar genetic causes, giving further credence to my idea that it's cause is mainly genetic. It is theorized that autism arises out of a GABA/Glutamate imbalance early in childhood/in the womb, leading to mitochondrial dysfunction, leading to neuroinflammation which leads to dysfunction of microglia, and eventually deficience of synaptic pruning and weak synaptic connections, and a messy neurological basis, while Schizophrenia and Schizo spectrum disorders are said to develop such an imbalance later on in life leading to an excess of synaptic pruning, creating the cognitive pruning excess of schizophrenia and leading to the messy connections creating the hallucinations and magical thinking present in schizophrenia.

Statistically speaking, there is a much higher correlation between schizophrenia and autism, it is even thought that some people with autism can develop schizophrenia later on in order to make up for the childhood lack of synaptic pruning.

Of course , trauma can also play a part as chronic stress from trauma can lead to an overactivated nervous system, leading to the same GABA/Glutamate imbalance, Neuroinflammation, overactivation of microglia leading to a deficience in synaptic pruning.

>>82541736 (OP)
Mostly avoidant. Nice image btw, I definitely relate to this character. Often feel amnesiac in a similar way, i.e. as if I had landed on this world just yesterday. I've always felt somehow alien.
>>82542949
The spectrum thing makes perfect sense. We put autism on a spectrum, so why not schizophrenia?
For example, according to this image, I align most with the traits in the Avoidant column, but I notice I have some traits here and there from the other columns/disorders. Or, I have almost all of those attitudes towards self to some degree, though I tend to irrationally internalize how I am excluded/wanted, while my dreamlike/transcendent thinking is actually backed by careful rationale.
I've also been putting a lot of effort into finding ways to regulate my personality. I can now notice, for instance, that my personality organization is settling into something more normal. I still have neurotic/borderline smatterings and am not particularly stable, but it's better than it used to be.

>>82543044
Really psychiatry has been going off of baseless assumptions for quite a while. We have only recently developed an unprecedented ability to study the brain and really started to understand the neurochemistry of the brain, but the science is still catching up 30 years right now.

Most medications are dangerous drugs that only patch the leak with glue.

>>82543054
I seem recall something about kappa opioid playing a role in childhood trauma disorders, leading to lifelong dysfunction in the opioid system. I'll admit I'm not particularly interested in autism so I don't know much about it, I really only care about trauma disorders since that's what I have. I haven't read anything that makes me think that schizoid is primarily genetic as in, I expect that for most schizoids if you went back in time and removed their early childhood stressors you would not expect them to still develop the disorder though of course I'm sure the genes are required to produce the disorder on exposure to the stressors.
>it is even thought that some people with autism can develop schizophrenia later on in order to make up for the childhood lack of synaptic pruning
I'm not convinced. Schizophrenia typically arises in early adulthood so the autism -> schizophrenia link seems tenuous. I haven't seen whatever papers you're basing that off of, so obviously I'm uninformed here, but the absence of autism in those people probably wouldn't ward off the schizophrenia to the best of my knowledge.

>>82543056
>The spectrum thing makes perfect sense. We put autism on a spectrum, so why not schizophrenia?
i completely agree but the problem we are just now finding out that, how do you hope to treat a disorder you have just now discovered?
idk i'm currently drunk and maybe a bit too negative but this shit just sucks, funny how i say that considering i wouldn't want to be anyone else regardless of how shitty my life is
>>82543104
exactly my point, it is an underdeveloped science if you can even call it a science, we are taking shots in the dark and just hoping something sticks and fixes shit
maybe in 50 or 100 years we understand the human brain and can point out the causes for this shit but that is too late for me
i feel like i'm living with an incurable illness and the best i can hope to do is to bandage a wound that will make me bleed out anyway, just slower with the bandages

>>82543177
>how do you hope to treat a disorder you have just now discovered?
Well, that doesn't really matter. I don't believe in psychiatry. In true schizoid fashion, I am a bit of a (justified!) magical thinker. As part of that, I've been reading about (and trying to embody) opening out one's focus/attention, general body-mind connection stuff and many deliberate attempts at emotional intelligence and critical thinking even under stressors.

>>82543038
wtf if that image is true I'm schizoid I thought i was an avoidant pussy. I'm not confident at all though and have debilitating social anxiety.

>>82543428
It's based on the diagnostic criteria which is not the same as what the disorder actually feels like. For example, the indifference to praise and criticism is only outwardly, schizoids can be extremely sensitive but they don't show it.

>>82543461
Ah, if it's that then I relate to it even more so.

>>82543489
You should read bits of Schizoid Phenomena Object-Relations and the Self by Harry Guntrip; it contains a lot of descriptions of schizoid patients. It paints a very different picture than what's in the DSM.

>>82543526
Seems interesting, sure I can do that

Do I need to never want someone's company to be schizoid? I noticed I tend to be avoidant and started warning people, but after a while if I want the person I try keeping them, especially if I feel like I'm losing them. I had a recent experience where I met a gorgeous girl online and we got along super well, then a few weeks in she randomly asked if I found her ugly, I found that so odd because she was the prettiest girl I've ever met online, maybe I didn't make it clear enough? didn't flirt enough? didn't show enough sexual interest? At some points she felt isolated as well she said, because I'd be working on my things and wouldn't notice time passing but I really didn't mean to ignore her at any point. Unfortunate really, I only notice these things if I go back and re-read and re-contextualize what happened then, and I feel like shit. Being a NEET for so long blurs things too

>>82543646
as the discussion in this thread has shown this is likely a spectrum and while there are schizoids with no human contact at all there are some who have some friends and maybe a partner even
guess the point is lack of many or any people they can even try feeling actually close to despite being in the circumstances where normal person would feel close and intimate to them and anhedonia and lack of normal interest at all and so on

>>82541736 (OP)
I'm schizophrenic. I've never thought I was schizoid because I've always wanted to have friends and a girlfriend but whenever I got close to them I felt inadequate and I quickly ejected myself out of the conversation. So I isolated myself for years, now I have a voice that never stops talking to me.

She's mean tho

>>82543646
I alternate between wanting to talk to people and wanting to be alone. I can go years with being alone and then have some months where I desperately want to talk. I typically get tired of people and cut them off after some amount of time, but I am capable of wanting someone around for longer if they worm their way through my defenses. I think I typically don't get attached to people because I expect them to ultimately reject me.

>>82543844
tell her to go fuck herself

>>82541736 (OP)
I'm highly avoidant. Even when I get the courage to break on through and try to be friends with others, I realize that I never developed certain social skills, so it usually goes poorly and makes me more avoidant. I can talk to others just fine; I blend in at workplace settings and don't have trouble maneuvering social spaces, as long as there's emotional distance between myself and others.
I wish I could go to therapy, but I realize that if I do my extreme political views are going to come up and the therapist is gonna eat me alive for that.

To be honest I'm jealous of schizoids, I wish I didn't want to be a normie.

>>82542790
>There's no pipeline leading from one to another
Maybe for those and schizophrenia, but I've definitely seen people with AvPD turn Schizoid as they get older and become even more isolated. It's definitely a thing.

>>82544939
I don't think people go from AvPD to schizoid honestly. I think people with AvPD might just give up and start looking schizoid, but the internal states and desires are going to be different.

avoidant

i used to believe i was schizoid. to a degree, i am. It comes down to the reason why I was avoiding relationships or people. most of the enjoyment I get from being alone is largely being devoid of potential negative judgment by other people. the times alone were a time that I used to escape and feel secure from potential negative evaluation. i used to be able to escape into vidya and other things. For a long time, that was sufficient. It felt like a relief to isolate and not interact. I thought i'd be fine without any friendships/etc - that worked until my early 30s. As I got older, the escape mechanisms no longer worked. Anhedonia set in. That, and my increasing negative self-perception and inner negative critic started weighing heavily on myself. I lost the naivete of youth thinking things would change in my future, so my own mind's (my inner negative critic's) perceptions rang even more true. That and my avoidant tendencies all my life have led me to having no counterpoints or people that I could point to that view me favorably to counteract my own negative self-perceptions.

I have an aunt that is schizophrenic (though it was onset by a really tramautic even). I was worried it may affect me. Perhaps it will if i live long enough. I think it's just depression and high functioning avpd. still have never had a relationship. I have watched all my friendships decay and die.

i believe the end result of the behaviors for AVPD and schizoid are largely the same. The difference is the reason for doing so and the reaction to it. On the surface, most people perceive me as likely schizoid. I appear as aloof and somewhat cold. That's not my intent, nor is it how I feel in reaction to it. I wish I was, as my avoidance has grown worse and worse as any social connections i once had have withered away.

I'm pretty sure I'm schizoid. I recently started therapy and I'm wondering the whole time how anyone is supposed to get anything from it. I don't really understand why anyone gets anything out of socializing in general seeing as it's basically all a performance and none of it is meaningfully real. I've had some conversations with normies about it and they seem to completely agree but see that as a good thing. I never leave the house and I'm supposedly missing out on some vital part of the human experience, and the most social people completely understand that social life is completely hollow and think you're a retard for wanting some kind of real connection. The implicit statement seems to be it doesn't exist. My therapist so far has just given me some "I'm sorry that happened to you"s and "Watch different youtube videos" because I made a passing comment about how plenty of people know social life has fallen apart for many people and they only voice it in anonymous contexts. Life is just a bleak boring chore. I get no joy from anything. I don't feel anything is missing from my life in the way I see a lot of people get: "if only I had x, I'd be happy". There's just nothing in life to want.

>>82545192
do you not want to be able to draw cute anime girls?

>>82545727
nah I don't really like anime or drawing

>>82546436
Wow, you're actually FVCKED UP and SICK in the head

>>82543056
Yeah, I don't think I've connected to a character as instantly as I did with him.
>as if I had landed on this world just yesterday. I've always felt somehow alien.
I get it. While I'm fully self-sufficient I still feel like I'm barely part of this world somehow.
Doesn't help that my memory is dogshit, like I can barely remember shit from a few days ago let alone a few hours ago. But I'll remember random technical details from my jib 6 months from now.
I've been working at my job for 5 years now and there's people I talk to everyday that I can't recall their names.

>>82541736 (OP)
didnt know there was a name but AvPD to the extreme holy shit oh well labeling it doesn't change shit

>>82546676
>Yeah, I don't think I've connected to a character as instantly as I did with him.
It was very interesting. Ironically enough - considering what you said at the end - I don't remember their name anymore. Tsukasa? (Yeah, I just looked it up, it's Tsukasa. I guess I did after all. Slow memory?) I'm not sure what to add about them, beyond their traits definitely lining up with much of what's already been brought up in the thread. On another note, I really liked their character design, in fact, I did overall enjoy this show. I only watched .sign though. It was quite aesthetically alluring, even if it had this 'empty' feeling throughout. See-Saw is great, I eventually want to better explore those musical genres.
>I get it. While I'm fully self-sufficient I still feel like I'm barely part of this world somehow.
I am not self-sufficient, though I hope that my road toward self-sufficiency will make me more of this world. I really, really do hope I won't wind up mostly the same and it becomes a means for change that I am able to utilize well, or something. I wonder what would happen if I wound up meeting more people like you and I.
>Doesn't help that my memory is dogshit, like I can barely remember shit from a few days ago let alone a few hours ago. But I'll remember random technical details from my jib 6 months from now.
Wow that's some slippery memory right there lol. Mine is similar. I can barely recall anything from more than 5 years ago or so. And even after that, it's still not particularly good- for life events, that is. It's totally different with knowledge.
>I've been working at my job for 5 years now and there's people I talk to everyday that I can't recall their names.
I'm terrible with names as well. lol

drugs are gay and will turn you gay

>>82541736 (OP)
Would not consider myself schizoid but maybe?, emotionally I'm always pretty numb and the only times I've showed genuine interest in relationships with others was when I was a kid, I guess it's good because everytime I'm forced into a group I always feel like an underdog or something, I prefer to be a distant figure for most people, an actual schizoid probably won't care about that neither so maybe i'm just a very detached person but idrk

It's a spectrum so I'm very likely to be in it since I relate to a bunch of the shit in >>82543820

>>82546725
Honestly, labels can be pretty harmful
It's only called a "Personality Disorder" because it harms society is some distant way to have individuals of that sort. If a rich person was known to be like this they'd just be called "eccentric".
We're pretty nuanced as people, so try to stick yourself into a slot can be limiting...

>>82547125
>I don't remember their name anymore. Tsukasa?
That was actually a part of the story iirc. His name is so generic it could be a online handle or real name, boy or girl, so you did pretty good remembering it.

>>82548527
>It's only called a "Personality Disorder" because it harms society is some distant way to have individuals
I would urge you to read the actual diagnostic criteria for a personality disorder. It has very little to do with harm to society and quite a bit to do with harm to the sufferer. A rich person with schizoid is still suffering from a personality disorder and will have a lower quality of life than if they weren't schizoid.

>>82541736 (OP)
>Are you schizoid or avoidant?
More avoidant, and autist. I'd be a schizoid, except that I crave sex; which as an incel, I will never get willingly.
I have NEETed for almost 20 years. Now pushing 40, and just waiting to die now (family are dead). Just trying to run the clock down, while keeping my 'bux. I wage-cucked for a year at the end of my 20s in an office, and even that was too much for me to tolerate for the rest of my life. Those FUCKING phones! TFW no easy local/WFH job where I can just be left the fuck alone, and make some money.

>>82548591
have you considered doing the postal service or a warehouse job, office job sounds like a nightmare i would always choose manual labour i think.


i am extremely avoidant, i want friends badly and i want to work badly, but the problem is every time i interact with people i feel so humiliated. job interviews are impossible so i avoid them, i avoid talking to people because im afraid of being disliked. it sucks.

I match a lot of the diagnostic criteria for avpd but not exactly:

>Avoidance of job-related activities that involve interpersonal contact because they fear that they will be criticized or rejected or that people will disapprove of them
No

>Unwillingness to get involved with people unless they are sure of being liked
Yes, but not because I'm unsure of being liked. If I was told that someone was guaranteed to like me I think it would make me less likely to interact with them. I feel like anyone who seems to like me is pretending and will turn on me in the future.

>Reserved in close relationships because they fear ridicule or humiliation
Yes, but again not because I fear ridicule or humiliation. It's more that I fear giving people ammunition to be used against me in the future.

>Preoccupation with being criticized or rejected in social situations
Not exactly, I feel like everyone secretly hates me but doesn't say anything.

>Inhibition in new social situations because they feel inadequate
Yes, but more because I feel like if I stand out people will hate me more (can't hate what they don't notice) than feeling inadequate.

>Self-assessment as socially incompetent, unappealing, or inferior to others
Yes.

>Reluctance to take personal risks or participate in any new activity because they may be embarrassed
Yes


Am I just retarded? How can I fix myself? I feel like AVPD is a close fit but not exactly because I'm mostly concerned with people hating me rather than feeling inadequate.

>>82548675
I've heard that workplace bullying is pretty common in those jobs.
Though I would keep myself to myself, normies fucking hate that and will castigate anyone who treats the job like a job. Same in offices.
I fucking hate that high school never ends. I fucking hated it there too. Workplaces are so fucking miserable and inherently corrupted.

>>82548707
dont know until you try i guess, i only mention them because they are the kind of jobs you can get without an interview and you just show up, can set your own hours in some of them as well.

i spent most of my 20s basically thinking ill never have a job because i cant get past a job interview so this is really my only option i think

I wonder how these symptoms differ when in reference to anxiety and paranoia
Really, how different are
>they won't like me
and
>they'll harm me
? They're both in the effort of self-protection and insulation.

>>82541736 (OP)
>Read a book about this behavior and apparently AvPD > Schizoid > Schizophrenic is a consistent pattern.

what book, very interested in this

Schizoid, I think. Kind of floated my way through high-school and only interacted with people as minimally necessary, and have become a neet since then. I had a solitary and emotionally distant childhood, the void in which was filled with books, and later the internet. I think my capacity for socializing and relating to others broke early on somewhere along the way.

definitely schizoid. Its nog impossible for me to make friends. ive even fallen in live with girls but i lose the will to keep relations going due to my indifference ir emotional coldness. guy on steam said i was a schizoid. the few friendd that ive had have told me im an oddball

>>82543038
I fit most of these except for the no interest in sex and being fine with being alone part.

>>82541736 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQKdHo-cZjE
Eien sagasu kimi wa utsurigi na yumemibito
Uwaki na yume ni sugari anata wa doko e yuku

Tasogare hiraku kagi o sagashite tsuki no kage
Todokanai mama naita watashi wa doko e yuku

Futari hitomi ni himitsu nakushite mo
Kasaneta ude o hodoki wa shinai wa

Ichigatsu no aoi tsuki asayake kakushite yo
Owaru hazu no nai yoru ni yasashii yoake

Chikazuku hodo ni itamu koi no omosa no sei de
Hanaresugiteta mune o jiyuu to yonde ita

Kurai basho ni dake hikaru mono ga aru to
Chiisa na mado no tooku mitsumeteta

Ichigatsu no aoi tsuki doko made ochite yuku
Owaru hazu no nai koi ni yasashii yoake

Ichigatsu no aoi tsuki asayake kakushite yo
Owaru hazu no nai yoru ni yasashii yoake

>>82541736 (OP)
>Read a book about this behavior and apparently AvPD > Schizoid > Schizophrenic is a consistent pattern.
It's not. The personality disorders are stable patterns and psychosis is only transient in schizoid and schizotypal.