>>82810416 (OP)
what counts as trying for you?
did you introspect or blame others? how many hours did you spend suffering before you gave up? how many professionals did you see before you disregarded them as beneath you?
>>82810416 (OP) >wake up >try for 12 hours >erase all progress in the last 4 >feel like killing myself >cry, hit myself in the head, throw my possessions in the garbage or break them >tell myself tomorrow will be different >it never is