>>82832479
Damn. I had a different kind of experience, but with similarities. Basically, when she got to my place, she was so shy and unreadable that I got stuck in my head and... made her feel unattractive. We fucked later and I thought it was good, but I came while hitting it from the back so later she thought it wasn't "intimate", like I was using her like a sex doll or something. I was, but that's because she was being soooo damn shy and distant that I couldn't feel the intimacy. Later she tried to blow me but she went at it with 110% effort when I was trying to ease into it and the suddenness of her being not shy at all ironically caught me off guard and I had to stop. That really upset her, but at the time I hadn't really processed or figured out any of this so I could only think to call it "nervousness". When we weren't getting frisky, the intimacy was actually really present and natural. When she left, it was on seemingly great terms. Then an argument a day later plus some regrettable words used by both of us just seemed to permanently taint the relationship. It was at THAT point that I began to feel like she was only trying to muscle through it all for the same reason you mentioned. Salvation from a shitty life.
