Thread 82871576

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is fucking stupid.
Session one: "When you feel sad, stop and ask, why are you feeling sad?"
Session two: "When you start feeling sad, stop that and start feeling happy instead"
For 60 euros per session. Am I getting jewed?

>>82871576 (OP)
Your attitude sounds a bit cynical, but they also probably did a shit job explaining it. This thing:
>"When you feel sad, stop and ask, why are you feeling sad?"
Actually works if you do it right. It's not magic, but it has to do with tricking your brain into sidestepping the brunt of the impact from an emotional reaction. Your attention is already focused on the emotion so it's really hard to just think of something else like "lmao stop being sad think happy thoughts bro." But if you start to think about the emotion itself and just try to passively analyze it, describe it, then you can start to shift the focus around, think of the physical sensations you are experiencing etc, and this lets you kind of drift along the wave instead of being carried by it, and THEN you take the chance to think of something else when it subsides. This 100% works from personal experience.

>>82871609
>cynical
I mean I am a cynical depressed retard. Probably part of why Im in therapy.
So what you're saying is when I start feeling like eating a bullet. I just should think about the raw emotion "sadness", and what physical reactions I feel in my body? And once I've gotten a way with that the sadness hopefully have passed?

>>82871656
>when I start feeling like eating a bullet. I just should think about the raw emotion "sadness", and what physical reactions I feel in my body?
Pretty much, try to describe what's going on to yourself. You can think of the physical sensations, or just narrate "ah, I'm feeling like killing myself again, that pang of coldness in my guts, yadda yadda, reminds me of the last time this happened..." and try to see where the thoughts lead while carefully steering them to remain passive and analytical rather than doing any "I'm feeling bad" ritual you might have. For example a couple of weeks back I was dealing with some intrusive thoughts and I associated them with a song which I just started playing in my head when they started, and then the song reminded me of a TV show and I started thinking of that, then I was free from the bad thoughts for a while until they came back. Then they started fading a little each day. Also know that you'll probably fail at doing this some times, but it's fine, you get the hang little by little. And when you do manage to gain a moment of respite, find something to do, whatever the fuck it is, do NOT default to doing nothing, even if it's something stupid and pointless.

>>82871705
What if:
- I thought about nothing but ropeing for 3 days straight? It's not really something that come and goes. it stays for days.
- After describing the emotion two or three times, the fourth time it happens dont you go "ah I've done this already, I know what it is" and 5 seconds later "I still feel like shit?"

>rather than doing any "I'm feeling bad" ritual you might have
The only "ritual" I have is to plan my suicide. What will the family find, should I leave a letter, etc.

Thank you for taking your time to trying to explain it, pal.

>>82871740
>I thought about nothing but ropeing for 3 days straight? It's not really something that come and goes. it stays for days.
Two things to note here: the more you do it, the more you're likely to do it again, and it gets more intense over time. Every time you get just a little break is a victory, so see if you can at least soften it somewhat. If not, then either you're in too deep for pure therapy to work or the issue was never one of mindset, either way you'll need meds or at least supervision and direct support from someone.
>the fourth time it happens dont you go "ah I've done this already, I know what it is" and 5 seconds later "I still feel like shit?"
Yeah, but you gotta recognize that even those 5 seconds are a start. And also a window to try to do something else to distract yourself. And it's OK to have a background of shittiness as long as you're not actively entertaining the intrusive thoughts.
>The only "ritual" I have is to plan my suicide. What will the family find, should I leave a letter, etc.
Yeah so this is making the bad thoughts turn into a habit. It's hard to break but you can also try to do the same to these thoughts as you do with the emotional hits. Also look up box breathing (the Navy SEALs use this during missions) and Jacobson's relaxation technique when you're nervous/flipping your shit. It's easy, straightforward, and empirically works.

>>82871795
I'm in pretty deep I guess, but I hear (or read, rather) what you're saying. But (as I told the therapist today) this all feel like so much of a hassle just to want to not kill myself. Like having to go through this multiple times a day, at least initially, just to want to keep on living. It's like normal people think "why do you want to kill yourself?" whereas for me the question is "why would I want to live?". Like constantly having to distract myself from what I right now atleast recognize as "the truth".
But I recognize you are (probably) not a therapist so this is something I should talk to him with.

I really appreciate it man.

>>82871576 (OP)
My experience was:
>>tell him about something I've experienced or been through
>laughs and mocks me
>>tell him how I'm feeling
>not to downplay or anything but many people have it that way
>>tell him my life story
>whatever, changes the subject
>>tell him how I'm feeling
>it's not unusual to feel that way

>I would like to screen you for something
>screens me for bpd and avoidant pd
>you don't meet the criteria for any of this diagnosis, and since you're only passively suicidal, there's not more I can do
>goodbye

>>82871989
That sounds like an incredibly shitty therapist anon.

>>82872083
yes, he made me feel awful about myself. this was through the public healthcare system where I live so it taught me that hope doesn't exist

>>82871576 (OP)
It's not a good method of therapy for someone like you, op.
>>82871609
Is a therapist or someone who has deluded themselves into believing they have authority on mental health issues. This is not the case, he likely has no reference point for what you feel or think in the same way you don't have a reference point for
>then you can start to shift the focus around, think of the physical sensations you are experiencing etc, and this lets you kind of drift along the wave instead of being carried by it, and THEN you take the chance to think of something else
Or simply
>"When you feel sad, stop and ask, why are you feeling sad?"

>>82872709
Im sorry for you anon. The one I go to I told the first time that I wanted to blow my brains out and he calmly just asked me to continue. Then after 30 minutes went back and assessed everything assessed. But yeah as you see Im not convinced about the method yet.
t. OP

>>82871576 (OP)
CBT works. But you can condense it down even further to
>If I was responsible for another person would I let them do this?
Only that person you need to take care of is you. Oh, you're responsible for another person? Would you let them stay up all night jerk off and play video games? Would you let them mope around and sink into misanthropic pessimism? Obviously not. CBT just contextualizes bad behaviors problems and solutions in a way that makes more immediate sense, because people will generally use their intelligence to cope and rationalize bad behaviors rather than actually solve problems.

>>82872786
Aside from drinking on the weekend I dont really know wtf Im doing wrong. I got a pretty good job (I think), I go to the gym 3 times per week. I go outside for ~1hr walks 2-3 times per week. I eat a relatively good diet. I have a small group of friends I regularly talk to.

>>82872771
I don't really know what I even want them to say to me
>>82872786
Except this just reads as sweeping the pain under the rug
>just deal with it bro
>it's not that bad, you just need to stop doing bad behaviors
A lot of psychological problems are caused by trauma, and using cbt as a treatment for it is absolute dog shit. Just makes you feel terrible about not being able to cope.

>>82872983
To me it just seems like "whenever you feel an emotion you dont like, just distract yourself for a while until it passes". Which I guess must work for some people, CBT would be a thing otherwise.

>>82871795
You provide good advice and its helping me realize what the fuck my therapist meant by trying to detach from the bad sensations of OCD and shit. Thank you anon

>>82873028
He explained CBT better in 3 posts than my therapist did in 3 hours of therapy.
t. OP

People pay good money for such advice.

>>82872983
>Except this just reads as sweeping the pain under the rug
You read it wrong. CBT and the like isn't an anesthesia or pat on the back for having it hard. It's contextualizes problems in a way that makes you go 'oh thats what was causing me pain and problems' not 'i am in pain and acknowledging that is most important'. I don't even care for CBT that much, I do actually think more people should just shut up and rawdog reality, but if they need their hand held and a 12 step program, fine.

>>82873023
>just distract yourself for a while until it passes
You're describing /r9k/

>>82873171
I mean that is true but that's like saying "computers work because of atoms" and then being done with it. Therapy is about the process of doing stuff to change the way you feel.