Thread 82894760

I become more and more blackpilled every time I try and go out of my way to do something I don't HAVE to do and am not rewarded for it or just maybe not in the way I want. I am constantly resentful and angry because I believe in entitlement for people that self sacrifice for no benefit. It's not the reality of the world i know but it's fucking with my head. It's like I am self psyoping or something so I can try and stay sane but become more insane instead because of this mind frame. I believe I should and people in general should hurt or hate themselves if they fuck up or do something they thought was bad and I do it to myself all the time but somehow SCIENCE says it's not good to do to yourself. Please fucking help me here anons.

>>82894760 (OP)
>Please fucking help me here anons.
I was in your shoes once
You gotta stop, you have to learn to say no

Good people don't get rewarded, anon
if you believe in God, you just get more chances to do good
if you don't believe in God, then folks will see you as the reliable one and they'll burden you with more and more issues till you can't carry 'em anymore

>>82894760 (OP)
its human nature, women breed with the powerful and wicked, most people are disgusting, selfish assholes, the internet has exacerbated this exponentially, being kind and caring is a bug.

>>82894824
>you have to learn to say no
To myself?

>if you believe in God, you just get more chances to do good
I want to and honestly my faith in that stuff has shifted dramatically over the years. I'd say I am agnostic but I do believe in the true evil and good.

>>82894871
>being kind and caring is a bug.
I don't believe that anon or I really don't want to. it's just really hard to think if it's just a shit happens moment in life or it's a test

Just for an example
>stub toe
>OWWW WHY DID GOD WHAT THAT TO HAPPEN WHAT DID I DO WRONG???!!!
or
>shit happens because shit just happens.

It's literally one of these 2 or both for everything if God decides to influence things. The whole "mysterious ways" stuff.

>>82894873
>To myself?
Both to you and everyone else
You can't save everyone, you can't help everyone
First order of business is to save/help yourself
>on God
Yup, same path as me too
The more you try to do good, the more "tragedies" seem to befall you, and we're humans so we try to find the meaning behind each and every one of those tragedies

That's how I lost my faith too

>>82894992
I guess I am good at saying to to others or other things but maybe not to myself

>First order of business is to save/help yourself
This is definitely an issue for me. It's an eternal battle and question really.

>The more you try to do good, the more "tragedies" seem to befall you, and we're humans so we try to find the meaning behind each and every one of those tragedies. That's how I lost my faith too
Did you regain it? How do you interpret the tragedies or do you not at all? For a person that doesn't look for meaning and reason behind stuff like that it's like it seems easier because the frustration over trying to find "meaning" wont matter to them. I like to think of life as some karmic based system based on Christian worldviews.

>>82894992
>>82895110
>saying to to others
saying no to others***

>>82894824

>if you believe in God, you just get more chances to do good

Exactly. The Bible pretty explicitly states that the reward for good is spiritual, not worldly. Christ himself was killed for spreading all that is good, which was meddling in the affairs of the evil that ruled the world.

>burden you with more and more issues till you can't carry 'em anymore

Not even Christ saves people from their own poor decisions and planning. If you look at his non-healing miracles the sum of his miraculous giving amounts to wine for a wedding party, 5,000 fish sandwiches, and two nets full of raw fish.

That's the extent of my giving. I bring good food and booze to any party I go to. I make sure there's plenty of people around to see it, just like Jesus did. I am very well liked by my community because for my birthday every year I attend a magic tournament, give everyone a $5 snack credit for the shop, and have pizza/cake delivered.

Give in the way Jesus did and people will flock to you in the same way. With any luck I'll be able to match Christ's miracles as nothing more than a common laborer.

>>82894760 (OP)
generosity is supererogatory
is it above and beyond what your moral obligations are
its needless. nice? sure. but it is a voluntary needless action from you

> I am constantly resentful and angry because I believe in entitlement for people that self sacrifice for no benefit

see, this is where you are both delusional AND entitled. a frankly hilarious combination. you do something thats not your moral obligation to do, and then feel like the world owes you something?

bro you are delusional and super entitled, haha

>expecting anything out of generosity
lmao fucking retard, stay miserable

>>82894760 (OP)
>I become more and more blackpilled every time I try and go out of my way to do something I don't HAVE to do and am not rewarded for it or just maybe not in the way I want.
Why do you care so much about being rewarded for it? To be generous is to be used to feeling rich. It shouldn't feel like a sacrifice.
>I am constantly resentful and angry because I believe in entitlement for people that self sacrifice for no benefit.
Lol. Ah, yes. I'm entitled to have nice things, but ONLY if I don't actually want them and would throw them away. Do you not realize how unhinged you sound? The only people deserving of nice things are people who actually want it imo. So, you deserve nice things. Those who are generous just happen to have nice things. They don't actually want it that badly or they wouldn't give it away.
>It's not the reality of the world, i know, but it's fucking with my head.
Spend more time with outcasts and freaks. You need to learn that one man's trash is another's treasure.
>It's like I am self psyoping or something so I can try and stay sane but become more insane instead because of this mind frame.
Then stop it. Just acknowledge that life is hard for some people, and that it happens to be for you right now. Maybe in a few years that will change for you.
>I believe I should and people in general should hurt or hate themselves if they fuck up or do something they thought was bad and I do it to myself all the time but somehow SCIENCE says it's not good to do to yourself.
Yeah. Cognitive dissonence is a bitch. Have some mercy for others and for yourself, thoughbeit. You think other people don't want to slide into the sewers like you do? We live in a world that's more bad than good. Things aren't going to be ideal. So why expect them be? Rightousness is a privilege for those who can afford not to just care about bodily desires. Its currency is ambivalence and boredom. If you still give a shit, you just need more experiences. You're still too young.

>>82894760 (OP)
Be more selective.
Find out who is a sincere and reliable person. Then be nice to that person. Don't be nice to others.
That way, you won't feel like you're being taken advantage of, and you still have the opportunity to be kind to others.

>>82894760 (OP)
>Why do the generous seem to suffer the most pain?
I noticed it too. Sick and broken people are always kind, powerful people get proportionally colder. You can feel yourself those the link in these changes when your perception of self is re-evaluated.
Must be a self-correcting sense of hierarchy we evolved. Something about perceived inferiority? Surely served some purpose in social cohesion, even in modern day. Explains why there aren't as many terrorists and school shooters as there are scorned people.

Didn't read the actual text until after I typed lol

>>82896019
>You can feel yourself those the link in these changes
I'm gonna fucking kill myself (muted because message wasn't original)

>>82895290
That's the thing man. Christ WAS a common laborer until God chose him to be his Messenger. Jesus was just like any of us, but he loved everyone unconditionally.

>>82895110
I've done my fair share of good, and i'll keep on doing it

I didn't really "regain" my faith in the traditional sense, I've seen too much of the world
Just know that I believe in the Divine, and you will too if you keep on doing good, within reason of course

>>82895290
Amen, brother
>"I have come not to bring peace but a sword"
That was one of the first verses that struck me, that "changed" me for the better