Thread 82952115

I turned 30 recently. I found out I was a porn addict when I was 17. I thought I would get over it quickly. I didn't I made a few months here and there, made a few months when I was 19 then relapsed, made a few months when I was 21 then relapsed, etc.
I could've accomplished great things. I tested very high on cognitive tests ever since I was a baby. I learned quickly and had a high aptitude.

All that's gone now. Internet and porn fried my brain so hard that I was not able to focus. I was constantly pacing, fidgeting, couldn't sit still, couldn't think straight for 13 years. All my potential was wasted. You no longer learn as fast past your teens and mid 20's. It's too late to be starting as a raw cadet at my age. I fucked everything up, my life is over.

But, I did finally quit, and after many years I know why I couldn't previously, so I'm telling you everything you need to know to break free now:

1) YOU NEED LOTS OF HEALTHY STIMULATION - ESPECIALLY SOCIAL. This is NON NEGOTIABLE
I was trying to make money online. I even succeeded to a degree. I learned 3d art, some programming, tried to make a game, tried to make other things, never got very good at anything, never achieved any meaningful success.
I didn't make any friends for literally over 10 years. I'm not an autist or a social aardvark. I was even popular in my early teens. Porn/internet just short-circuited my desire for real-world relationships. All of my desires were wired to the screen. Bored? Horny? Lonely? Tired? Anxious? The habit in my brain was to go to a screen to relieve all of those things.

There was a study that boredom is the #1 risk factor for relapse, you need to seriously stimulate your mind in order to get over this. You need intellectual, sensory, physical, and social stimulation. And social stimulation is the most important part.

"But I'm a shut-in, how do I even start to socialize again?"

Here's the trick - if you look at every solid friendship, it almost always started in one of two ways:
1] Network expansion - they met via friend of a friend. You make friends via your existing friends.
2] Groups. Workplace, lab, barracks, choir, practice session, class, running group, etc. A consistent place where you meet up with the same people repeatedly.

If you lack #1 you HAVE to get #2. There is no reliable third method to making new friends and getting a social group. You don't usually just walk outside and meet people and make friends - that can happen occasionally but it's rare and unreliable.

You also just need to stimulate your mind as much as possible. Read new books, listen to new music, pick up new hobbies. Do zone 2 cardio every day, outside. Run a different route so that youre getting different visual stimulation.

2) You MUST rewire
What's rewiring? Reconditioning your response away from pixels on a screen and towards real girls. You *must* talk to girls.
Note that it does not need to be explicitly sexual. Just talking to girls in any fashion will gradually recondition your brain to want them instead of a screen. Take every opportunity you can to talk to girls, in person, in a social group that you started after reading point #1, not on tinder. I don't have much to write about this but its absolutely critical. If you don't talk to girls irl you will *not* successfully quit.

You should also rewire your sexual desires.

Ancient rome was a highly warlike, competitive, militaristic culture, kind of like klingons. Our language is heavily heavily influenced by roman terms and sayings. Back then, the act of penetration was viewed as symbolically conquering or humiliating the penetrated party. To be penetrated was to be subjugated.
This is literally where our sexual-language comes from in western languages - it's a true fact, I'm not making it up. The middle finger as an insult comes from rome. It's supposed to represent a phallus and testicles. We use phrases like 'clapped their cheeks', 'bent them over' 'we got screwed', etc. and these all come directly from roman sexual culture.

Lots of other languages have no such connotation. I know Korean, and no equivalent terms exist in korean, nor is there the cultural association of sex as humiliation.

And it's not good. This way of viewing sex kills romance and tenderness and eroticism.

Sex can be passionate, beautiful, loving and tender. Porn is a complete caricature of sex that robs it of all meaning. Most of the time the actors are not even enjoying it. There is no kissing, very little talking, the girl just bends over and barely moves.

That's what finally cured me. I had sex with a gorgeous girl a few months ago. As mentioned I speak korean, she's korean, and their sexual culture doesn't have this baggage. It was incredibly passionate, romantic, and hot. It was completely different from any sexual experience I'd ever had before. She had no concept of sex being degrading, and no desire to be degraded. Didn't ask me to choke her, didn't ask me to pull her hair. With every other girl I've been with it felt like they wanted me to have sex 'at' them, rather than 'with' them, if that makes sense. Not at all the case with her. She was super active and moved with me, touched me all over, stroked my hair. It was amazing

I literally looked at a porn site a week later and it just looked boring and gross so I immediately turned it off. The sex is passionless and emotionless. I didn't even find it appealing anymore. I can't believe I blew 13 years of my life because of this stupid shit.

3) You MUST meditate every day
I won't put as much time into this because everyone talks about it, but it's still critical. Addiction causes hypofrontality/executive dysfunction. It makes it much harder to control your mind and think clearly. And it's a vicious downward cycle because the executive dysfunction makes you watch more porn, which makes your executive function worse, which makes you continue to watch more. Meditation is the #1 best way to address this. It's like weightlifting for your discipline and attention. Meditate every single day, never miss a day.

-

Also, one last thing

If you are a hard case like me and keep relapsing for years and years

Then, if possible, just consider getting rid of the computer. Doesn't have to be permanent, doesn't have to be forever. Leave it with a friend for 6 months. Or turn off the internet at your house so you have to go to the library to use it. This is the #1 thing I would have recommended to myself if I could go back to when I was 17. 6 months of moderate inconvenience for a life time of being cured. it's worth it, just do it if possible

I wake up with a horrible sense of dread and loss every single morning now do to my wasted life. Don't end up like me, to do whatever it takes to quit.

>>82952115 (OP)
>>82952119
>>82952128
>>82952142
i'm really ugly. I don't like it when other people look at me.

>>82952115 (OP)
too late for me at 19 I already got peyronie's disease coming in and I have no contact with women

>>82952176
bro I would sell my soul to be 19

>>82952186
For some people the game of life ended sooner than for others.

>>82952115 (OP)
>stop experiencing sexual relief
>suffer in your loneliness more
No, I disagree.
>you need healthy stimulation, be social
No, I've always had friends and family and classmates/coworkers. They are draining. I feel emotionally manipulated into keeping contact with them.
>>82952128
>Sex can be passionate, beautiful, loving and tender.
I will never have sex so I don't care.
>no kissing, very little talking, the girl just bends over and barely moves.
Consume better porn.

>>82952115 (OP)
Damn. Sucks to be you. I watch a lot of porn and have for two decades at this point, yet I have a successful career and a wife. Sounds like a skill issue.

>>82952257
why aren't you saving up all your semen for your wife?

>>82952257
Some people just drink casually here and there, others become alcoholics and get their brain fried. Same with porn, it causes similar brain changes to alcohol. And none of this stuff is good for anyone

Also I don't believe you look at what board you're on

thank you op, there are plenty of people in this world that needed your message now more than ever

>>82952315
Show me multiple peer-reviewed longitudinal studies, or even better yet, a meta-analysis of this subject. Not anecdotal evidence or purposeful obfuscations and half-truths twisted to fit a narrative.

As for not believing me, I understand, but I'm also not about to dox myself just to win an Internet argument. Just remember how long this site has been around. This is essentially the new /b/ ever since that board got overrun with bots and jak spam.

>>82952115 (OP)
>Porn/internet just short-circuited my desire for real-world relationships
Why is this a bad thing? I've seen enough divorce raped dupes to know relationships aren't worth it.

>>82952362
there's actually like 60 neuroscience studies on porn and porn addiction and like 250 on internet addiction plus like 6-8 meta-analyses/systematic reviews.

this website keeps track of literally all neuroscience research related to porn
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/research/

>>82952393
That site is doing the very things I said I didn't want examples of. The studies they cite are not actively looking at porn "addiction," rather other types of sensitization, desensitization, and known substance dependency. The man behind that whole thing was a bit of a nutjob who abstained from ejaculation entirely, even when having sex with his wife.

This is pure conjecture on my part, especially since he killed himself a few years ago and it'll never be confirmed, but I think he was a repressed asexual. Just like how it's been documented that many raging homophobes are closeted gays themselves, I think this guy sublimated his hate of sex into attacking the only sex-related that he could realistically get public support: porn. And how do you do that? Make it an addiction. That was also a common argument against homosexuality back in the day; it was an addiction to a perverted behavior.

Just some ramblings while on lunch break.

>>82952115 (OP)
Social stiumulation my ass. Why do you think I am here? If I had friends and a social life I wouldn't be here.

>>82952115 (OP)
All that writing and not putting that amount into a resume.

>>82953171
What resume? All my skills are online, all the money I've made is on the computer that I don't want to use. I've never had a real job. My skills are (mid) 3D art, mid 2d art/animation, VERY mid python/c#, and mid photography/photo editing.

I'm so doomed I want to die

>>82952115 (OP)
>YOU NEED LOTS OF HEALTHY STIMULATION - ESPECIALLY SOCIAL. This is NON NEGOTIABLE
lol.
the reason men become porn addicts is because they couldn't get social stimulation. it's not like most porn addicts pushed women off them with a stick so they could coom.
there is only so much social stimulation you can get after a certain age, because at the end of the day you will still have to come back home and have to face the loneliness/boredom. It's not even a matter of being single anymore because plenty of married men are porn addicts too

>>82952128
>Just talking to girls in any fashion will gradually recondition your brain to want them
If that's your result of talking to girls then I can with 100% certainty say you're an idiot.

>>82953292
Lol not my problem, you have all that and yet you bitch like a retard.

>>82953456
you can't get employed with any of those things anymore unless you're top tier and have connections. it's functionally the same as having no employable skills, they're hobby tier

>>82952115 (OP)
Well at least you didn't troon out which is the sad fate of so many porn addicts.

>>82952362
Obviously this advice is for coomers, not you. So you can fuck off.

>>82952115 (OP)
>I'm not an autist or a social aardvark

>mfw dumb normies got addicted to the porn I've been sharing on Morpheus/4chan since 2004

>>82953543
And people make money off hobbies retard. Put effort into those skills instead of posting walls of text in shit hole.

>>82952115 (OP)
What kind of gay faggot shit is this? Fuck off with your gay antiporn shit

>>82953652
Anon, I'm going to need more of that, source is fine too.

Kilh yourself

I don't read Red Pill bullshit threads.
No Nofap for you face.
No Nofap for your height.
No Nofap for your Neurodivergence.

I would like to quit porn and masturbation entirely. But my friends are all on my computer.
Also I don't have hope of ever being in a relationship, so I just want to quit to be sexless.

didn't read, i've been here since i was 10. i'm COOKED.

>>82954144
This. Porn is just your excuse op you're a fucked up loser because of your parents/genetics and your upbringing. You autistic thinking fags always look at everything black and white and try to blame all your problems on one simple external thing. Even if you quit porn at 17 it literally would have made no difference to where you are now. These kinds of excuse essays are retarded.

>>82952115 (OP)
>failed normalfag lecturing me about porn addiction
*yawn*

Good thread, op. Too bad people here are crabs

>>82952115 (OP)
Porn addiction isnt real nigger
Hang yourself

>>82952115 (OP)
Ive been a porn addict since I was 11 and im 28 now. It's already been long over.

>>82952115 (OP)
Go beat off faggot

>>82952115 (OP)(normalfag motivationalfag larpnigger)
spastic steven, captain of the retards, you are a witch king of troons, kys

I'm going to hurt myself if I can't watch porn!!! I'm so addicted!!

>>82952115 (OP)
Damn, that's crazy. Your life was ruined by biochemical sabotage that had nothing to do with porn or masturbation

>>82952142
define meditation?
just do nothing, correct?

Try this
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2011/02/hes_just_not_that_into_anyone.html

>>82954945
you just sit still and focus on something at a higher level of attention than you normally would. If you pay strong enough attention thoughts should fade. It's like cardio for mental control, your cardio system is always going but running makes it have to work harder for a while and forces it to adapt

>>82954917
i know its porn because I was trying to quit for all those years. In the 1-3 months after quitting emotions would come back, focus would come back, and I'd stop pacing/fidgeting, and then in the first couple weeks of relapsing symptoms would all return. It's downregulation of d2 receptors combined with hypofrontality

>It's easy to focus on the cheating wife and assume the fantasizing male wants to be humiliated, but why only during sex? Why not on a bus? Why not just call your Dad? I bet he'd spank you no problem if it wasn't so humiliating to him. "But it means--" You know what I think? I think your sexual fantasies, which you spend so much time trying to understand, exist so you can understand them. You want to know what they mean, to avoid thinking about how they're used. "But----- everyone is different, the same fantasy can have a different meaning to me." Sure, if they were your fantasies, but they're not, they're someone else's, so they don't mean anything, they can only be used. You want to search for meaning so you don't have to examine your use.

tl;dr. Don't search for the meaning of your porn,

>>82954495
same
if my mom didnt make it so taboo I would have been normal