Thread 82963589

give me one good reason not to cut myself tonight

>>82963589 (OP)
cause i said so. dont do it fag

>>82963589 (OP)
you could use that time to kill yourself

>>82963611
I'm not a fag, I'm just upset and the pain makes me feel better
>>82963620
but I want to play vidya

leaves scars that you may regret in years to come

>>82963623
>I'm not a fag
How's this, if you cut yourself, you're a fag. punch walls until your knuckles bleed... fag.

It's a form of shadow possession. Once you realize you're in a competition things change about your understanding of your psychology, how it may not even serve your best interests, but it's all a revelation, you reveal to me what you reveal to yourself and in that light is the key to victory over satan.

>>82963623
>I'm not a fag,
shut up homo. dont cut yourself cause i wouldnt cut myself and im based so if you cut yourself thats not based

>>82963647
nobody is going to see them anyway
>>82963649
>don't ruin your skin, ruin your knuckles intead
if cutting is fag behavior then so is punching walls
>>82963650
why is satan so mean?
>>82963656
but...it's hard to argue with that actually.

but being a masochist is based though

lol, pretty easy:

cutting yourself = bad for you

simple as

you don't need to be Albert Einstein to figure this one out

>>82963696
>if cutting is fag behavior then so is punching walls
didn't say it wasn't, it was just a suggestion.

>>82963707
but then why does the pain feel so good and it makes my brain go all tingly?
>>82963734
fair enough

>>82963589 (OP)
cause you're fucking annoying, no one cares man, stop being so consumed by yourself and shut up, and if you can't, go to a psychiatrist and get yourself better, cause we really don't give a shit

also your shit is most probably for attention, idk why though, guess you're bored or a cringe woman

>>82963791
I just like the pain, it's not for attention

>>82963650
it is magic attacking you through unconscious processes and perhaps you become aware of it through impulse...you have to understand the darkness of people they know "they already would have"

the evil you fight is cold blooded

>>82963696
>why is satan so mean?
it is better not to know such things

>>82963838
would I understand him better if I read paradise lost?

>>82963843
probably have fun struggling through a book lmao

>>82963903
would you said it's harder or easier to read than the divine comedy?

>>82963589 (OP)
You're such an attention spamming pussy. I'm embarrassed to have ever had you in my threads and talked to you. Stop avatarfagging, go cut yourself and post the images to /b/

>>82963961
I don't remember being in any of your threads

>>82963589 (OP)
Because youre bmi is not higher than 22

>>82963977
hmm good point, I've lost a lot of weight

>>82963943
I DIDN'T READ THEM
I DIDN'T READ THEM

I LIED

>>82963589 (OP)
anon why do you want to hurt yourself?

>>82963988
oh ok, I did read a bit of paradise lost and yeah I was having a hard time understanding what I was reading, definitely harder to read than the divine comedy.
>>82964001
I don't even know at this point, I'm just miserable and cutting is like a drug to me, one of my addictions (the other ones being cigarettes and coffee)

>>82964038
Weren't you on meds to quit cigarettes

>>82964219
no, I'm not trying to quit, I think I mentioned I was taking prozac before but I wasn't trying to quit smoking, I did stop taking prozac, that shit doesn't work

>>82964287
Nevermind youre someone else. I don't know what magic words on a screen wouldn't make you cut but its probably in the library of babel

>>82963589 (OP)
Its the same thing as drugs. I regret my scars everytime I see them, and there will definitely be the time where you do/would to. Please dont, we could even talk on discord if you want

>>82964527
did you used to cut as well? how old are you now?

>>82964562
Im 25, I used to cut myself very deeply when I was 16-17. I used to be the absolute reject in school (not a flex), I apparently have an IQ of 145+ (wechsler intelligence scale 3) but all that shit gives you is depression and social incompetence because most of my youth I very rarely had any friends because I just didnt get along with anybody. And when I say I was the reject, I really mean it. People wouldnt talk, or even look at me. I was not in the whatsapp group of my class. When we went on excursions like to the zoo or cinema the teachers always had to cram me into some group because nobody wanted to have to deal with me. At the zoo for example my group told me to fuck off as soon as the teachers turned the corner, so I just sat under a tree all day crying. When a teacher spotted me she took away my phone, because she thought I would have split off from the group to chill on my phone. When I was 15 I met a girl online playing League of Legends. We quickly started talking and playing league together, and started to like each other. We constantly talked about meeting and actually spending time together. When we met she never talked to me again after and blocked me. In 7th grade the classes in the Gymnasium in Germany (the school you have to visit to be able to go to university) were mixed, so I obviously thought I would be able to find some friends or at least make it bareable. It turned out to be just the same. I had absolutely no strenght in me left to continue studying, and without studying you will fail in a Gymnasium unless you have 200IQ and can memorize very well. When I had to repeat 8th grade I felt more ashamed, when the class turned out to again be the fucking same I left the gymnasium to a Realschule (the mid level education) and AGAIN I was the reject (yes of course it was because of my personality/bahaviour). Something in my head clicked. I first self harmed when I had a discussion with the school principal because

>>82964701
yeah I was a reject too, I was never able to talk to people I always felt like an alien or something I just can't talk to regular people even to this day in every job I've had I can't talk to anybody the only time I found someone that got me was a girl I met online, we were in a long distance relationship but eventually she just ghosted me, that happened earlier this year actually, back in april, we did talk about meeting couple of times. I know long distance relationships don't work but then how the hell am I supposed to find a girl that likes me?

the first time I cut myself was when I was I think 17 as well, i was sitting alone in my room and then it hit me how fucking lonely I was and how much I craved company and I just grabbed the first sharp object I could find and slashed my upper arm the urge to cut myself started again when that girl I mentioned ghosted me a few months ago I did cut pretty deep a couple of times actually.

I personally blame my dad for my social ineptitude, he would never let me go outside so I grew up alone in my room being sad all the time I never learned how to socialize

>>82964701
(cont)
I had to defend myself after being pushed down the stairs and falling on my face getting a nose bleed. His friends of course defended him and I got expelled from school for 2 weeks. Thats when I first self harmed. I had so much shit going on in my head I snapped. I had to force myself to do it. Something in my head made me do it. As I said its just like drugs. In a bad moment the pain might drag you away from the thoughts that make you self harm, but after cutting the next time you have chaos in your head it will be all you can think about. I used to cut myself until I had vertigo/strong dizziness, and it just kept getting worse and worse to the point where it had no effect, but I still could not stop. I used to cut so deep I saw the fat. I was then kicked out of school because I was constantly starting fights and when I dragged some guy down the stairs by his hair I was expelled completely. 16 years old and no education. No school would take me because of my history so I had to take an apprenticeship in a warehouse, which in Germany is even lower than being a cashier or working for security. When I got kicked out there aswell I attempted suicide. I cut me very very deeply, took a lot of tramadol and drank half a bottle of vodka. I then went to the bathroom to cut myself until I bled out but I went unconcious before I could get in the bathtub. When my parents found me I couldnt bare the pain I caused to them, which ironically made me cut again, but at that point my parents knew of course.

>>82963589 (OP)
it's funny to see yet another edgy idiot do a thing they'll regret for many years. i won't give you a reason not to, but i've never met a cutfag that didn't regret doing that stupid shit 10 years later.

>>82964789
(cont)
I then started to build up my life again. Talking to my parents gave me so much peace, as they didnt know about ANYTHING that was going on. I first started an apprenticeship at a technical school which took me in after my parents pleaded with the school director and told him my story. So I learned to be a mechanic for 2 years so I could get my Hauptschulabschluss ("Main school" diploma) which is basically worthless. I then continued going to that school after completing the apprenticeship to be a machine operator I started another apprenticeship to be a mechanic which gave me the "Realschule" diploma. Then came covid so I got interrupted a little bit but 6 months ago I got my Fachhochschulreife (a Gymnasium but for a specific industry, for me it was technical/IT), which means I will be able to go to a university. I also found friends. 4 very good friends to be exact. We can talk about anything, they all know my story/feelings and are always there for me, which I am eternally grateful for, just like for my amazing parents. What I wanna tell you is that things can very much get better. I am happy to be alive, even if on some days my mood may be lower, its gonna be better tomorrow ("Falling away from me" from Korn is an amazing song btw).

Please dont cut yourself or worse. If I was able to "make it" you can easily. The picture is of my still visible scars. Please do not cut yourself, it will leave lasting scars and even now, when my mood is very bad I still think of cutting myself, like a heroin junkie would want to shoot up.
Please

>>82964781
Yeah spending time in your room alone is gonna wear on your nerves, even taking a walk can make a very big difference, but of course getting the energy to actually go out is hard, but the walk will always be nice. What is also very important is some kind of hobby. For me it is riding my bike or motorcycle. The pure focus of driving, the sound, g-forces, the feeling of flying, I couldnt live without my motorcycle.