Thread 82965844

I live an incredibly comfortable life as a doctor: high income, shown a lot of respect and generally seen as a "good guy" yet I absolutely hate myself. I spend all day at work surrounded by normies pretending I'm someone I'm not playing a character of this lovely normal guy all the while inside I know im this degenerate, fat 35 year old virgin who goes home and rots in his flat watching anime. I've had several nurses at work show interest in me yet for some reason I just cant stand the idea of being with them despite the fact I still long to be with a woman. Is something wrong with me or is this normal? I just still feel like I did as a teen boy being bullied in school yet I look in the mirror and thats clearly not who I am. I just never feel like I'm doing well enough, I still imagine things would be better if I was smarter or had gone to a better college or made even more money yet I doubt this would even help. I just dont know if its even possible for people like me to be happy...

>>82965844 (OP)
"Hating yourself" means having enough self-awareness to realize that sometimes, you're wrong and in the wrong. Congrats on being normal.

>>82965929
Yeah maybe, I just dont know what Im doing wrong Its not like I dont try my best at my job or am a bad doctor I just dont want to be around other people so when I get home I basically shut myself away surrounded by comfort eating take out every night then look at how my lifes going and feel like Im a loser.

>>82966087
Again, nothing wrong with you. Maybe if people "hated themselves" more so they can strive to be better instead of belligerently defending their laziness and complacency, the world wouldn't be half as fucked up as it is today.

>>82965844 (OP)
Sounds like you're tired everyday from masking? You probably are afraid to reveal your unmasked non normie self to nurses at your work. Why not try to work in a lab, those have much higher rates of autistic people. If you're not fat and ok looking and a Dr people will forgive A LOT of faults (like high functioning autism). As long as you aren't the type to have meltdowns it doesn't even matter at this point. If you don't want to be judged for being an anime watching 'tist then just get an autistic girl/weaboo girl. Do you not use apps?

>>82966204
I've received a lot of specialist training in something that must be patient facing (oncology). Its honestly rarely the patients that bother me I find talking to them quite predictable they are like NPCs to me desu where I use the empathy emote etc and I do feel motivated to do my job well. The thing I find difficult is being around the other staff I just finding almost everything they say to me in a "social" setting to fit into the "bitching or boasting" category and pretending I have any interest is extremely challenging especially when they act all preppy and like they're sucking up to me. They just remind me of people who would have bullied me in school and their fake behaviour disgusts me I can tell they just think of me as this lame autist they want something from and I feel like in a lab it would be the same.

>>82966302
>bitching or boasting
Because most mean girls in highschool become nurses, anon.

>>82966302
LARP as a spy infiltrating society or whatever. Basically turn "doctor" or "normal person" into a character you can play. This advice works surprisingly well.

>>82966204
As for looking for a girlfriend I honestly haven't searched much once as an experiment I used an app once but I did not put my job. Got zero matches. I hate the idea with being around an irritating woman who finds me unattractive and just wants my money. Also, having them in my apartment could be stressful for me and would require a lot of cleaning I just hate imagining me with a woman I find the reality of the image disgusting. Maybe if I met an aspie woman who I was very compatible with as I sometimes fantasise about this could work but I doubt those women exist.

>>82966441
If you got literally zero matches then it's time to lose weight kek. Be realistic, if you aren't going to use your money to advertise then what else do you have. There's some 'tist girls on duolicious. t. 'tist girl.

>>82965929
>"Hating yourself" means having enough self-awareness to realize that sometimes, you're wrong and in the wrong. Congrats on being normal.
most of the guys with gfs i know think they are king shit all the time. But the girl goes along just because he just acts like he knows what he's doing

>>82966531
What if I told you there were more to life than getting a gf? It's not an achievement in the slightest. I mean shit, the perpetually unemployed, homeless bums on the street, felons, pedos, and other absolute dregs of society get relationships.

>>82966493
Yeah I think it could partially be my weight but also my mom was the one who wanted me to find a girlfriend and when I showed her the pictures I used she made fun me and said they made me look retarded so I may also be bad at taking pictures. Surprisingly Im not that overweight and plan to pay to get on weight loss meds at some point when I can be bothered. The percentage body weight they usually get people to loose would bring me back into normal weight range.

>>82966565
>It's not an achievement in the slightest. I mean shit, the perpetually unemployed, homeless bums on the street, felons, pedos, and other absolute dregs of society get relationships.
Yeah and the commonality I see is they act like big shots even when they aren't

>>82966585
Then yeah are you even seriously trying. Take better pics and get advice on a plebbit dating subreddit.

>>82966667
Yeah my mom could probably take some better pictures of me as she'd probably be more objective assessing if they are good and is desperate to see me find a girlfriend. She just seems to want me to get with a nurse at work and have them look after me like I'm a kid though.

>>82966602
Yet they'll be the ones to reproduce and pass on their genes

>>82965844 (OP)
>am doctor
>have money
>have career
>have women hit on me
>im such a sperg guys
>im so spergy I can be a doctor and be a turbo normie
Yeah, whatever, dick in the booty cracka

>>82965844 (OP)
>I just dont know if its even possible for people like me to be happy...
depends. whats ur specialty?

>>82967059
Oncology. Diagnosis and treatment/palliative plans.

>>82967098
you american or yuro? if american youre like absurdly rich you could like a buy girl from /soc/ with that salary

>>82967116
Im based Canada rn and yeah it pays really well.

>>82967116
I dont think I would be able to be with a woman who didn't like me though I just dont think it would be worth it and might make me feel more bad about myself.

>>82965844 (OP)
what was the process in becoming a doctor? ive been going to uni studying physics but ive lately felt like shit, cant focus during class, get lost trying to understand things being taught, only motivation is to get back home and talk online with others about funny shit and play games and whatnot instead of doing coursework/studying.

yes because hating yourself isnt a symptom of autism and never was

>>82967213
Very heavily dependent on which country you are in but the process to get a medical degree will take ~5-8 years then your looking at another ~8-12 years specialist training. Its so different in different countries I really cant tell you anything specific about what the process would be like for you though your better googling it.

im currently halfway through nursing school and kinda feel the same way, its hard to make friends cause I feel alienated from my peers although some of them are genuinely sweet
(chose the profession as I thought i'd fix my social anxiety and do some good out of my pathetic life)
I thought being in a class and profession that is 90% woman would help socially but it just feels more like a dysfunctional spaz
sometimes wonder if I'll end up jaded or emotionally stunted that plus anxiety that my future partner will cheat on me since I plan on working night shifts

>>82967368
Yeah I dont think healthcare is a terrible industry to work in but I think the main thing thats hard is accepting even though you do a career thats supposed be giving and charitable its not going to fix you and turn you into this great social person in your personal life (even if you do your job well) I've obviously been in healthcare for a long time and thats definitely something I found hard to accept I thought it would change my soul or something lol. I also find nurses fidelity concerning. Although I do not keep up to date on gossip, I see nurses get moved for having affairs with fellow staff and sometimes they start relationships with one another despite previously having both been married which does make me wonder if there is a culture of promiscuity in healthcare. If your spouse doesn't work in healthcare I dont think it should be too much of a concern youd but away as any woman could cheat if she really wanted to.

>>82967368
Yeah I dont think healthcare is a terrible industry to work in but I think the main thing thats hard is accepting even though you do a career thats supposed be giving and charitable its not going to fix you and turn you into this great social person in your personal life (even if you do your job well) I've obviously been in healthcare for a long time and thats definitely something I found hard to accept I thought it would change my soul or something lol. I also find nurses fidelity concerning. Although I do not keep up to date on gossip, I see nurses get moved for having affairs with fellow staff and sometimes they start relationships with one another despite previously having both been married which does make me wonder if there is a culture of promiscuity in healthcare. If your spouse doesn't work in healthcare I dont think it should be too much of a concern that youd do night shifts as any woman could cheat if she really wanted to.

Have you considered not masking, people can smell nonauthenticity and lack if genuine interest

Power dynamics change how behavior is interpreted, have you considered some trying to make a genuine connection but not knowing how to do so?

Also consider dating someone attracted to your intelligence and within your pay range such as a nerdy stem girl

>>82967758
Yeah I find dorky nerdy girls to be super cute so thatd be nice if I could even meet any lol. The same pay range this is very unlikely dating any woman desu as i out-earn like 99% of the population and most actually cool stem fields dont actually pay very well.

The pay range wouldn't matter so much if its still generally high paying, just someone who values financial independence and wouldn't need someone to prop up their ego

>>82967879
Work in academic hospitals and flirt with the medstudents and residents

>>82965844 (OP)
Being ashamed of being fat is normal. You're over diagnosing the problem. Get fit and marry a girl a decade younger like many other doctors.

>>82965844 (OP)
I have autism and don't hate myself