Thread 83047832

>I love you
>You're always so good to me
>Dating used to scare me before I met you
>I love you
>We're going to be together forever right?
>I know it's late, I just wanted to hear your voice
>I love you
>My parents want to have dinner together and meet you next weekend. Is that okay with you?
>I can't imagine anything better than this
>I always feel safe with you
> I made dinner for us. I hope you enjoy it.
>I missed you so much.
>It's so unfair that you have to spend so much time away from me.
>The house feels brighter when you come home.
>I found a little restaurant a few blocks away from here. We should visit sometime.
>Our lips fit perfectly together.
>I love you.
>Work is over, come over here and cuddle with me already.
>I know it's not "our" place yet officially but it will be soon
>You should just give me a key already
>I miss you
> Please don't ever leave me
>I love you
>I promise I'll do my best for you
>Have a good day! I'll be here waiting for you.
>I get these impulses to just touch you all the time
>Let's go for a walk. I want to watch the sunset with you
>You're always so good to me
>I feel like I don't deserve you
>I love you
>I love you
>I love you

>>83047832 (OP)
Please just fuck off already.

>>83047832 (OP)
mfw this could be me to my bf but i'm deranged and incapable of love :p

>>83048180
>this could be be
>i'm deranged and incapable of love
These are contradictory statements

>>83047832 (OP)
stop fucking torturing me already, anon
your wholesomeness fills my mind with sweet fantasies and for a while it fills me with happiness, but once i realize i'm not having this, i get very sad :^(

you've been at it for so long now, please
pic related

>>83048205
the joke is that i'd need to be a completely different person than i am right now!!!!!!
that's the point!!!!!!!!
>>83048207
i don't even think it's like this anyways so who cares!!!!!!!!!!

>>83047832 (OP)
i had it multiple times and it wasnt good, just fucking do drugs if ur not chad jesus christ

>>83048205
BpD foids are usually like that

>>83048216
but it could be like this, depending on the people involved
we all love in our own sweet little ways

>>83048236
no i think this is a fake movie love thing and not actually real i take it back
i've never seen this irl!!!!!

>>83048207
>I'm sorry
>I never wanted to hurt you
>I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me
>I love you

>>83048242
sweet of you to try and comfort me, nep
it is what it is though, it definitely could be real because i've seen it happen already, not first-hand experience but close enough
>i've never seen this irl!!!!!
i have.

>>83048249
the voices...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
anon i swear to god i will find you and i will swat you with a newspaper and then i will hug you SO tight you're going to get a broken rib or two from it

>>83048180
Don't sell yourself short, I've managed a few e- relationships. They all end horribly but they can be nice for a while.

>>83048281
DO NOT LISTEN TO THE VOICES i am the only voice you can trust and the others are lying!!!!
it's always a larp!! it's never that good!!!
>>83048282
i'm just being realistic!!!
my heart yearns for a robot e-bf who i eventually meet IRL and we fall in love and get married and live happily ever after
but i'm incapable of being vulnerable with other people so i post tinker bell instead

>>83048303
>i'm just being realistic!!!
I think you're being a little unrealistic though! Maybe I'm completely wrong, but I don't think you're any more incapable of love than I am. It's just very difficult to get past the schizoid defenses. Vulnerability is something that takes a lot of time and effort to develop with a person. I've managed to get partly there before and I'm hardly the picture of mental health, I'm certain you could too under the right circumstances. Just try not to give up on it, once you do it's not gonna happen you know.

>>83048207
>>83048281
On second thought, I'm sorry junas. I actually kinda like you despite you being a tripfag. I am insane and have to get these thoughts out somewhere otherwise it will leak into my real life and cause me real problems irl.
I have an entire lifetime of love built up but no one to give it to. This medium serves as a pressure blowoff valve for me.

I don't mean to cause you harm, you should take solace in the fact that you still have a heart that can be swayed by romantic words. You still have a soul.

>>83048303
again, i've seen it happen, there's no denying reality
the voices tempt me but they do speak true

>i'm incapable of being vulnerable with other people
maybe you just haven't found out how to

>>83048321
okkk............sniffle......... maybe there is hope...........................
i just don't know where to even start!!!!!
>>83048323
okay statistically it probably happens but its very very very very very uncommon!!!!!!!!
>maybe you just haven't found out how to
refer to above!!!!!!!!!

>>83047832 (OP)
>My parents want to have dinner together and meet you next weekend. Is that okay with you?
PANIC PANIC PANIC ABORT ABORT ABORT

>>83047832 (OP)
Ok you convinced me. How does one gets this?

>>83048340
>okkk............sniffle
Don't cry!
>where to even start
I don't know honestly. Sometimes I talk to someone and it just seems better than usual, like I'm not entirely suffering from being around them. We keep talking, it works alright, and I start to feel safer with them. Some of it has to be conscious, voluntarily making yourself a little vulnerable. It doesn't need to be a sweeping gesture but even something small helps. You do it, they don't reject you or hurt you, you feel safer, and over time that builds up to you feeling more comfortable with them. It just takes a lot longer than when normies do it. But it's not like there's a step by step guide to this lel. At the end of the day you just have to take a risk, get hurt a few times, learn how to adapt. It's difficult.

>>83048322
thanks anon, i appreciate you as well
i'm mostly screwing with you to be completely honest, i can definitely relate to what you're saying about having too much love to give and no one to give it to, we're two of a kind after all

i find your posts bittersweet for sure, but more so sweet than bitter
think of it as practice to when we finally find our sweethearts to lovebomb (or lovenuke more like, lol)
pic related, wagmi

>>83048340
>very very very very very uncommon!!!!!!!!
not as uncommon as you'd think, nep
i've seen it happen with more than one of my cousins and uncles, and more than once too
the amount of lovey dovey stuff they told each other when they thought no one was listening to was fucking sickening... and too sweet.
it didn't bother me back then but looking back on it... man.

>i just don't know where to even start!!!!!
not sure how good an advice that is but, if i were you, i'd start slow and small, something inconsequential and meaningless in the long run, which you still wouldn't share normally though
once an opportunity comes, tell someone else about it, and do your best to struggle against your flight instincts
do it enough times so that it doesn't bother you as much anymore

>>83048376
this shit is fake!!!! do not be deceived!!!!!!
>>83048382
>Don't cry!
SNIFFFFFFLEE.................
>It just takes a lot longer than when normies do it.
the ultimate hurdle, if i need this i need to find someone willing to wait (impossible)
>you just have to take a risk, get hurt a few times, learn how to adapt.
barf, that's where i flop!!!!!!
>>83048390
>once an opportunity comes, tell someone else about it, and do your best to struggle against your flight instincts
idk how to do that................. and also i'm positive this person would lose their damn mind with me (understandable)
>do it enough times so that it doesn't bother you as much anymore
BARFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>83048390
>think of it as practice
I already do lmao
I'm going to find my sweetheart someday and you will too.

>>83048403
>SNIFFFFFFLEE.................
Dry those eyes!
>if i need this i need to find someone willing to wait (impossible)
I think people are more willing to wait than you might expect. Maybe look for autistic people or other schizoids. It's not impossible unless you don't look!
>barf, that's where i flop!!!!!!
Yeah I know it's hard but if you want a bf you have to do it. No way around it unfortunately. Try to find someone patient that you like and see what happens.

>>83047832 (OP)
Now here's a question, anons: would you rather have this and then lose it, or never have had it at all to begin with?

This but wholesome gay yaoi

>>83048403
>idk how to do that.................
why not be straightforward? like
>hey, can we talk about something if you're not busy?
and take it from there

>i'm positive this person would lose their damn mind with me (understandable)
you never know, depending on the person
take a leap of faith, and if reason works at all with you, think about that person and see if someone else telling them the same thing would also make them lose their mind
if so then go for it anyway
>BARFFFFFFFFFFFF
yeah i know, not pretty and not comfortable
but you ain't getting anywhere by staying in your comfort zone
still, don't sell yourself too short, there might be just someone near you waiting for you to show the tiniest crack in that brick wall of yours

>>83048418
>I already do lmao
very nice, brother
>I'm going to find my sweetheart someday
good, that's the spirit
you'll make a girl very happy for sure, i pray she'll return your kindness
i believe in you

thanks for talking to me today, both of you
have a great night

>>83048450
and p.s. coin flip for this one
both are terrible and heartbreaking, but i'd argue maybe experiencing it once would be marginally less worse
you'd have made good memories instead of wondering what if and howling at the moon

>>83047832 (OP)
none of those words or promises matter when the honeymoon phase wears off and she starts to realize just how much of a loser you are and eventually leaves you

>>83048450
Have it and lose it. Its painful when you havent had it for a while but when you remind yourself you made multiple foids cry after dumping them when you realized love is a meme and not like anime then you realize its shit tbqh. Drugs are better
t.khhv till 20, ascended and peaked for years now a recluse

>>83047832 (OP)
it was good while it lasted
i dreamt of you again
no matter what i did, at the end, you killed me, and i did this 7 times
the 7th time i reset i looked at your eyes and said "its too late already. i can see it in your eyes. you already made your choice."
and instead if killing me in the boat at the very end, you cried. and the elephant cried, and i didnt have to drive off road that time.
i remember the last time i saw you, i cried, and you cried, and you rode me but wouldnt let me hold you, and your lips were cold. cold as ice. dead thing with a dead soul in the shape of the dead kissing me. now i understand.
and I love you too, and we will love each other again in a world where were both cats

>>83047832 (OP)
I miss her. Why would she kiss me like that if she was just going to go away.

>>83049195
It started out with a kiss how did it end up like this?

>>83047832 (OP)
have a happy life. please forget me. please don't try to find me again.

>>83049205
Just triggered my ptsd anon wtf asshole

>>83049220
im so sorry for being such a terrible person, but, that's a lie actually. i'm not sorry. sorry.

>>83049240
Untriggered, not what she would have said. It was a good attempt though

>>83049249
well this is what *i* would have said after all. good to know you're untriggered now.

>>83049260
Want to lovebomb me and then ruin my life?

>>83049262
not making the same mistake twice

>>83049273
What mistake is it for you? I thought I was the one who'd be getting their life ruined.

>>83049195
Keep the struggle up Gatsu
You won't get anywhere if you don't keep going

>>83049282
it goes both ways. it wasn't exactly on purpose, it was just my natural reaction to having someone care for me for the first time. now i need to live in guilt and agony for the rest of time, in a weird middle space of being sorry for everything that i did, but not truly caring enough to actually be sorry, because i am a bad person. the least i can do is not do it again.

>>83049320
Wait now you're triggering me again
You don't have to live like that. You can reconnect with them if you haven't completely torched that bridge. Or you can find someone else if you have. Bad person or not, you can still try again. Everyone makes a mistake or two in their life, right? How long has it been?

>>83047832 (OP)
>We're going to be together forever right?
Don't want to get pulled into this reality anons you WILL end up wrecked

>>83049320
why is it always like this? I am another on the receiving end. in any case I forgive her it was good to have feelings even though it hurt a lot. it couldn't have been any other way, that's life. I don't know if I hope for another message or not, if saying hi or goodbye would hurt worse

he cheated on me. not even edating an incel works. fml

>>83049457
>even when picking incels, foids still only go for the dark triad ones

>>83049329
please, don't get too triggered. i don't want to try again, i'd need to make new, fake identities, since my real one is entirely associated with that person, (as i obsessively attached everything to them). i can't be genuine with anyone again, not that i was very genuine in the first place. it's better if i don't meet him or a new person again, i'm not a very good friend, let alone partner. it's been some years since then. thanks though.
>>83049386
i can't say, it's a case-by-case thing. maybe she cares, maybe not. for me, i'd wish you to be able to forget me and be happy.

>>83049475
>please, don't get too triggered
I'm not, don't worry.
>i don't want to try again
Why not? Being alone isn't fun.
>i can't be genuine with anyone again
I think you could if you got to know someone. I understand how you feel to some extent but it's not like it has to be that way. Have you been alone all these years? No friends even? If you want, and if you reply soon, I can leave an email for you. We don't need to be friends but we can talk at least. You remind me of someone I used to know, not a partner just a friend. Don't worry about being a friend or being genuine, I understand and it's not necessary.

>>83049468
no. i couldn't pull one. he was mentally ill and initiated the relationship. said it didn't count as edating because he liked me so much. the only time he every hung out with someone irl he ends up cheating. wtf.

>>83047832 (OP)
I deserve this.
Need wife in Australia NOW.

>>83049568
are u from australia anon
i need husband from australia but i am americandesu... dont ask questions

>>83049590
>are u from australia anon
yes, but will you move to australia?
Why do you need one from Australia?

>>83049606
i am willing to travel and i have fantasy of traveling to see a guy i like within a very short time of talking online. im willing to make that happen.
also i think i just like australians... and want to drink at 18

>>83049619
>and want to drink at 18
Anon im 32 and want 3~ kids ASAP
I barely drink

>>83049500
i don't think that's a good idea, i'm probably already manipulating you by making you feel bad for me. yes, i have been fully alone all this time. i like this site because you can just exist and there's no need to make profiles or anything. do you really want to do that?

>>83049648
good luck anon, maybe ill visit and we'll pass on the street and never know...

>>83049650
I think it's a fine idea. You aren't manipulating me, I'm used to talking to people like that anyway. I do want to talk, even if just for a short while. Don't worry about it, if I'm talking to you it's because I want to.
justanaccountr9k@proton.me
Email me there, I have to sleep now but I'll reply to you tomorrow. Don't overthink it.
>i like this site because you can just exist and there's no need to make profiles or anything
That's why I like this site too, it's comfortable. But it's nice to talk to someone sometimes outside of this site.

>>83049667
>maybe ill visit and we'll pass on the street and never know...
unlikely
dont break an anons heart pls

>>83049702

>>83049457
this was me. lel. i wouldnt get a kick out of huting someone

>>83049713
oh, that sucks.
Many years ago I had a similar thing happen. We were very close for some time then she sent me msgs going into detail about what she did with 'him'. I've only really spoken to like 2 femanons since cus it was very unenjoyable, luckily one just ghosted and the other we just msg sometimes or share memes.
hope your next attempt goes better

>>83047832 (OP)
I had this and I broke up with her after years together so I could go down the drug addict spiral that she was trying to save me from.

>>83048450
the latter. i had it and lost it and i can't stop thinking about it even though it was a long, long time ago now, and i'm too cowardly and dysfunctional to ever do anything to actually have it again, so i just live on memories i should've moved on from

>>83048649
She still talks to me like this six years in, anon.

>>83048303
Schizoid adaptation, or are you just larping like a dramatic teenager