Thread 83049347

(Hers on the right). She says I don't eat enough vegetables.

>>83049347 (OP)
COREKT
YOU WILL DIE IF YOU DON'T EAT GREEN FOOD ACKSHUALLY

>>83049347 (OP)
This is rage bait. The food looks like bland shit

>>83049378
>This is rage bait. The food looks like bland shit
Why are blacks like this?

>>83049407
Uhh because you didn't put enough Lawry's seasoning salt on it

>>83049347 (OP)
Why do americans and europeans always eat stuff that looks so bland?

>>83049378
>dis izz rayge baiet. Da food lewks lyke blayand shieeeeet
>>83049453
>Why doo crakkas alwayz ieat stuhff dat lewks zo blayand?

>>83049479
I'm immune to ragebait thanks to Chuddha's teachings, nice try

>>83049347 (OP)
HOIOOLYYYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIT

>>83049378
Seasoned with hopes and dreams

>>83049486
>I'mm e-moon to raygebaiet tankz to Chud-dha's taychins, nice try
>>83049490
>zeezin wit hOpez ayand drayamz

>>83049347 (OP)
Well, at least we know your gf is white

>>83049489
Hell yeah brother.
She made me this the other day, too.

>>83049549
does this girl just spend all day making food damn

>>83049542
*wife

But you already knew that
;)

>>83049542
Im fucking dying LMAOO

I made lokkiheto earlier but im not hungry

>>83049575
idk what that is but it looks good

>>83049525
Im sorry anon I don't mean to be mean but this is stereotypical levels of white

>>83049560
Yes.
Here is my brownie she made the other night.
(She is making me another rn)

>>83049586
is she trying to make you fat or something

>>83049575
Why is there grass in it.
Explain whwre this dish comes from?

>>83049585
>Im sorry anon I don't mean to be mean but this is stereotypical levels of white
I'm sorry for you

>>83049581
Its just salmon chowder but finnish i guess
Ingredients are
>leeks
>salmon
>potato
>water
>carrots
>allspice
>dill
>cream
However i think all recipes are gay so i added
>parsnips
>tuna stock
>dashi broth i made
>xanthan gum to emulsify fat and water
>dill oil

>>83049597
I'm 6'1" and 78kg.
If she is,it isn't working

>>83049615
that does sound very finnish.

I don't like salmon

>>83049598
Finland some goober at work said it was a traditional finish dish and i called him a fucking retard because it wouldn't exist without the Columbian exchange culinary wise since allspice berries come from jamica and dill is generally Mediterranean
Sorry im autistic about food

>>83049634
OP here,
I am going to make my Wife salmon tomorrow for her birthday.
(Just salmon + oyster sauce, I suck at cooking)
>>83049615
>finnish
Ny Wife is from Estern Europpe too (Silesia), any tips?

>>83049634
Tbf i would rather kms over eating salmon from the Atlantic

>>83049691
How is her salt tolerance? Does she enjoy beef jerky or cured meats. I need a bit more background on here palate before i give an opinion

>>83049615
>allspice
Why are browns like this?

>>83049729
Listen you fucking faggot it's in the recipe and it comes from jamica

>>83049347 (OP)
why do you faggots keep posting your disgusting looking food here?

>>83049706
Palate wise? She scares me.
She used to drink vinegar. Crazy shit. I chalk it up to USSR parents.

She loves spicy food and makes fun of me because I don't (because I am a based Anglo who doesn't want his tongue to die)

>>83049760
Lmao my ex from lithuania used to slam vodka and pickle juice so i get the vinegar thing while i dont understand it
That aside how is she with salt because i can craft you 2 dinners for her bday i just need to know her salt tolerance before i effort post

>>83049788
She loves salt.
Heaps it on (to her food, not mine thank god)
>ex
That sucks man. I hope you get another slav.

>>83049808
Okay so make salmon saltimbocca (proscuiito or speck wrapped salmon with a basil leaf) on a bed of risotto (if arbario rice isn't available use pearl barley) and finish it with a beurre blanc with lemon zest freshly grated ontop

Idk how close you are to a supermarket you are but if this is too much effort i can theorycraft something else
But if your down i can effort post walking you every step of the way

>>83049849
Damn bro are you the anon who is a high class chef but has no one to cook for? This sounds awesome.

Here was my plan

>cover salmon in tablespoon of oyster sauce
>leave to marinate in fridge
>fry it
>serve with (haven't figurrd that out yet)

Can you refine my idea? Or is it too shit?

>>83049849
Are doughnuts shooting out of her arm?

>>83049881
Ive been found out
Skip the oyster sauce until the end it does nothing enzymatic wise and a simple generous coating of salt leaving it uncovered on a rack with proper airflow in your refrigerator will do wonders comparatively to a marinade
Your on the right track using oyster sauce due to the heavy glutamic acid content without cheating and adding msg

Consider the sides and if you have a local farm nearby take your wife with you and let her pick out a vegetable for her dinner and make the entire experience something you both enjoy from farm to table as for plating
>use a bowl to mound your starch medium
>lay your veg around
>plate protein ontop
>spoon and dot your sauce ontop and around

>my shitty chicken scratch for ex

>>83049940
Bro. Thanks for the tips.
I'll do it!

In return, here is tonight's brownie

>>83049347 (OP)
looks quite boring and flavourless

>>83050322
Np brah now take that brownie method and make chocolate sables as a yummy treat

>>83049347 (OP)
I want to devour that meal, it looks so good. You NEED to do something for your fucking wife after all the times she cooked and baked for you. She gives you nutritious meals and delicious snacks every god damn DAY.

>>83050645
I am making her fish tomorrow.
Is that enough?

>>83050659
Fish is great but make something with it on the side. Also, dessert too if possible.

>>83049347 (OP)
>That much carrots
>No broccoli
What is wrong with you
Cooked carrots are very mid and almost yucky texture depending on things
Broccoli is probably the most tasty vegetable even without enough butter

Stop being a child and learn to love vegetables

Chicken looks good but needs to be charred a bit for crispyness

7/10 meal your plate is 5/10 would be 8/10 with broccoli like her plate aswell as charred chicken

someone has taken a shit on your plate op

>>83050713
>Broccoli is probably the most tasty vegetable even without enough butter
Nice b8
>Stop being a child
No.

>>83049542
white women can cook just fine if they want to, this is just another subtle way to make men's lives miserable on purpose

>>83051126
Her cooking is kino
>t.the guy who eats it

>>83049407
Even if you ignore seasonings, the food looks like it was all boiled in a pot. There's no sear or caramelization on the chicken or vegetables. It's clearly lacking depth in flavor

>>83049585
No shit. After a short while, the jokes lose their effect.

Jesus. The presentation is terrible. There's no salt on anything. I see no spices either. What the FUCK is wrong with your wife?

t. single white guy who can cook 1000x better than this

>>83049347 (OP)
Why are all the niggers memeing a about seasoning, clearly the chicken has a bunch of sauce on it. You do know glazing a chicken in a sauce is a form of seasoning right?
Chicken is a bland and shit meat anyway though. If you can afford a high quality cut of beef all you need is salt and pepper. Niggers overcooked their steak to well done and put ketchup, hot sauce and A1 on it because they can't taste the meat.
Don't take cooling alive

>>83049585
There is nothing wrong with being white.
Also OP probably made this stuff himself to brag on the internet internet about having a wife. No one has ever taught him how to cook. You probably can't cook either.

The stereotype for being white is not putting enough spices on your chicken. The stereotype for being black is robbing the convince store or beating homeless men to death.