Thread 83065404

is it possible to unfuck your life at age 30? or is it too late?

>>83065404 (OP)
objectively yes but because of how society works no

>>83065404 (OP)
depends entirely on your looks level and neurotypicality. the best years are definitely behind you though

>>83065420
if god is real he's a fucking retard. who makes a species of creatures that live for a 100 years but the first 20 are the best and the rest suck and also your decisions when you're most immature control the entire rest of your life

>>83065404 (OP)
I unfucked it at 35 and I'm having the time of my life. You can do it too.

>>83065500
you can definitely still have a life worth living at 30 though. just gotta be realistic with it, don't expect some college party chad lifestyle out of the movies or some shit

>>83065611
could you share a brief before/after and what was pivotal to you making it through?

currently mid-late 30s trying to unfuck the fuckage that happened in my early 30s

>>83065723
You will not find any value from my experience. Someone stole several hundred thousand dollars from me over 5 years and I was basically being blackmailed over it with a side of gaslighting about me not being "smart enough" to operate in the real world. None of this was true, and when I learned about the money that was being stolen from me that broke the conditioning.

>>83065404 (OP)
Life isn't linear. There is no "too late." For my personal story, I dropped out of high school due to being institutionalized for being suicidal, then NEETed for 2 years. Got my GED, went to college, failed out of college, NEETed again. Got a job, went back to school, got associate's, got a real gf. That relationship fell apart because she wanted kids. At 28, I met back up with a female friend I'd known years back, we started dating. At 29 I lost my job due to covid and my parents decided to move across the country but I stayed with my gf. That lasted a few years, I got a decent job but then lost that. Just this year at 34 this relationship ended and I moved across the country to live with my parents again. So I'm starting all over once more.

And the hilarious thing is, despite all these setbacks and chaos, I'm doing better than most of my friends, who are either dead or alcoholics/drug addicts/NEETs/virgins/never had a real successful relationship. I've had 3 good relationships that lasted years at this point. The next one I want to be for marriage and kids, I want to really "grow up" now. I've stopped playing vidya and actually been taking my career and education very seriously for the first time in my life. I want to set my shit straight and I am slowly but surely doing it.

So... once again. There is no "too late". You either rot and die or you keep living and keep trying. So far I'm choosing to keep living. I just hold onto hope that a good future awaits me if I really put in the effort.

>>83065614
yea but even your career is fucked. you're missing out on a decade of experience that other people got you're permanently behind

>>83065785
post was kinda cool but then you decided to be a faggot and brag about living a better life than others

>>83065820
Nah, you misunderstand my intentions. What I'm saying is that life is hard and generally sucks for most people so don't beat yourself up too much. I view my life so far as a shitty failure and nothing like the success I wanted it to be, and yet most of my friends have it even worse. It puts things into perspective. By no means do I consider anything about my life brag-worthy. When I was young, I wanted to have a house and be married with kids by my mid-20s, like my parents. I'm a decade past that now, and it would be easy to beat myself up, but putting things into perspective makes me grateful for what I have and the fact that I'm alive and still have time to improve.

>>83065785
any advice for how you persevered and got back up after the setback after setback?

im in a similar boat, last relationship was real serious but blew up and now i'm at the age where the next one better count and i really do need to 'grow up' too but it's so easy to slip into depression spirals that just eat up weeks of time wallowing till something gets me back on track and become an adult without regressing back to depressed teenager again

>>83065404 (OP)
I'm 28 and going back to college for STEM early next year after working my way up labor jobs through my 20s getting skills plus certs. Currently in a trade union job. Wouldn't say too late unless you had major fuck ups like being in prison or having kids out of wedlock like the guys ive been around. Fortunately for me I'm pussy-repellent so didn't have problems with women. Even though I dropped out and did drugs in early 20s, being in abd out of traphouses and was homeless I got past all of that. Now got a car, apartment, tens of thousands saved up and all the video games I could want plus my college will be free on a full-ride scholarship. If you're talking about friends or relationships I'm the worst person to ask because I've been hated by most for as long as I can remember so I embraced it and didn't look back. But most things you can unfuck provided you have the energy to do so. I wouldn't gamble my hopes on other people if I were you, take the chance on yourself would be my advice. Anything to do with other people is outside of your control and not worth putting effort into, is my outlook. But maybe that's too much of a jaded view younger people don't want or need to hear, I am unc status aa the zoomers put it.

>>83065908
If you want me to be honest, I would probably be dead now if not for my family and my exes. I still get depressed often. I went to a psychologist a few times and then got a regular therapist that I still see, starting this year after the breakup. That's helped a lot. Also reading about neurology so I can try to figure out how to fix my faggot brain. I want to try to get a life coach sort of thing as well, but I haven't yet.

The one thing I've realized is that it's really important to find people who understand and relate to you, and who you can trust. That's probably the #1 thing that robots lack. It's really important to have a network. If you look at really successful "Chads" and richfags, what do they really have that robots don't? Networks, supportive families with a lot of friends who care about them, etc. If you don't have that, you get depressed. Just because humans are herd animals. It's stupid as shit, but that's how it is.

So I've been working on that - cultivating good relationships, inviting and accepting criticism, forming good habits/routines, and setting goals. If depression starts setting in, I can scale things back, but I still have to work on it at some level. Beating myself up is probably the biggest thing that hinders me, so I've been working on that and making a lot of progress. Now I can fail at something without calling myself a piece of shit and wanting to kill myself, so that's some good progress over the past 6 months or so.

>>83065404 (OP)
Too late to be a child prodigy, that door is never gonna open again, buuuut you can still do some cool things

>>83066300
those usually end in early death or absolutely tragic crashes that burn in front of everyone... so not really sure i'd want it if i had a genie grant me that as a wish

>>83066166
>Now I can fail at something without calling myself a piece of shit and wanting to kill myself
GOOD point. my last month has been rough and i lost 99% of my momentum, but i haven't been at KMS level of thoughts. My mind is actually pretty clear but there is an obvious trap holding me completely still and making forward progress immensely difficult. So the manifestation of depression has shifted quite a bit from previous episodes. It's good to remind ourselves that relative progress is still progress. It feels like a failure and my inner critic is winding up insults but somehow they never come out to my conscious mind.

i'd also prolly be an hero if not for family + exes who either helped lift me up, or the ones who compel me to live on simply to spite them that im still kickin. idk they were all pretty decent tho

keeping up friendships into adulthood definitely takes effort tho and i know i am just reaping what i sowed. i stopped making effort, and let friendships wither on the vine and it's VERY taxing to stay positive. I can muster it with my own imagination, but it's like a constant mana drain spell i have to spend on so i have very little leftover for productive things. i'm simply oom

>>83065404 (OP)
If you have solid family and financial support then maybe. I'm poor as shit and have no family at all so I'm probably dead within the next few years.