>>12484326 (OP)
it is not the thought patterns that concern me, those can be ignored when you're in the zen state
it is the fact that i know too much and that knowledge makes me unhappy whenever i remember them due to a lapse in concentration or a thing that reminds me of it
happiness is not something you pursue and need to earn, happiness is self regulated feel good chemical, kids will find joy in the most stupid things
only thing that separates us from them is our accumulated knowledge about the systems around us, the nature around us and of the very real mortality of our bodies and the slow march of time
to be happy would require one to be a master of ataraxia, in constant zen state, a fool or a very wealthy and creative individual who can figure out ways to keep the boredom at bay