Thread 12520121

have you ever experienced true desperation? I don't mean like "I'm so poor I feel like I'm gonna start to starve or go homeless soon" or "I need x so bad"
I mean utter desperation, a mortal threat that you feel is about to happen to you
and no matter who you talk to they're all clueless and don't care because it would inconvenience their lives yet you feel like whatever imminent threat there is is going to rend unspeakable things onto you

yeah during a manic episode

>>12520133
two same numbers!

>>12520121 (OP)
yes, my desperation was such that I hired a scammer.

>>12520121 (OP)
one time I looked at the sky when it was a totally clear blue sky with no clouds day except for a plane which was kinda lower than normal and I felt like at any moment it could fall on me

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>>12520133
how do I get through this
I don't know whether I've been suffering from epilepsy, partial strokes, panic attacks, or something else, but the doctor just thinks its panic attacks
but they dont get just how terrible it feels, to feel like something inside of you is going crazy, like its lighting up
I want to kill myself but I'm too afraid, afraid that its going to be like the seizure or panic attacks or strokes or whatever it is

>>12520145
is this the focal seizure guy

>>12520157
I dont know, maybe, I only post about this stuff when I'm drunk like this, I just feel so out of control of everything and the seizures feel so inevitable

>>12520167
take some carbamazepine and tell me how it feels

>>12520176
i asked the doctor to give me anti seizure meds and they just kept giving anti anxiety meds
buspirone works most of the time, hydroxine or something doesnt
but given that meds help, its probably not a stroke atleast
that and because i can still feel the right side of my face, even if it feels weirder during seizures

why did nobody reply to my post

>>12520181
oh yea the sky falling on me at any moment kinda feels like what i feel sometimes, like whatever i'm looking at is just kinda heading towards me despite remaining in place

>>12520183
macropsia
>>12520179
buy oxcarbazepine online and dont tell your doctor just keep this as our little secret

when i close my eyes everything starts feeling like its spinning
i drank too much
but atleast its not a seizure

>>12520193
>macropsia
sometimes i get the opposite too, like if I hold my phone up really close to my eyes it looks smaller than if i hold it slightly further away sometimes, or my closed fist will look somewhat dispraportionate
its soo weird because i can still clearly tell that its the size that it actually is, but something about it is just off

>>12520195
not specifically macropsia but those kind of visual oddities like things getting bigger or smaller or falling away or towards you can all come from a similar disturbance

>>12520197

also static patterns like pic rel hurt my eyes, definitely gets worse when i get these attacks to the point where the simple pattern of the keyboard on my phone feels weird to look at

>>12520200
well, more like when its repeated to a great degree like this
one example would be like looking at the bristles of a comb

thats kinda my whole life lole