>>12589600 (OP)
I'm losing my mind, every day I feel different, one day I will be manic and writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of demons ruling our world, stalking me, and how I'm not afraid because I know I'm in the right. Just to wake up the next day and reread it all and not know who even wrote it. Cannot associate with any of it. I look in mirror and don't know who I am even looking at, I look inside and it feels like my brain has been chopped up and smashed to dust and let blow away. I'll try not to blogpoast too hard but I'm genuinely losing my sense of self, it's hard to sleep because I hear things all night and have to tell myself to not get up and look for where it came from because I know it's not real. The next day I'll be telling someone it's from someone lurking in my house stalking me, I don't know who I am I don't know what I think. When I'm in a phase like this where I can sit down and recognize all this crazy stuff going on inside me is about the only time where I consider the possibility of the doctors being right, that I'm a fucking schizo and need to be on a pill, but I don't find enough care or effort to act on that and just stuff it down until I'm indulging in some different rabbit hole . That's how I am today, I hope u are having a good day. Thanks for asking, thanks for the opportunity to feel like I am being seen. I love you op, I'm scared
