>>40030272
>I have a hard time believing that.
>My problem is that anyone who talks to me outside of brief exchanges seems to be a bully or devoted to a bully.
Those are your past experiences, after all. But my own lived experience suggest that other peeps exist too, hell, I exist at least! Finding sensible people can be hard.
>I've made some attempts.
That is good, a lot of this is, unfortunately, trial and error. And since you are stuck with online stuff for now that is doubly so. Where have you looked, generally speaking?
>probably because of not having much in common or much reason to interact outside of intentioned messages.
Do you generally hesitate to ping people if you feel you have nothing in particular to say?
>a place related to one of my biggest interests.
That sucks extra hard, of course.
>I don't quite follow what you mean by your last paragraph logistically speaking.
Like, if you worry whether it's you if something goes awry (it's not) you can have other people sanity check the exchange. Sometimes I have conversations end awfully and then I run the broad strokes by other people as a sanity check.
>>40036485
>im probably going to need professional help, but I don't want to do anything anymore.
>it probably wouldnt really help me. i dont think anything really can.
It's hard to know without trying. Of course it would likely only be supplemental to other things but I think it is worth a shot. I would love to see you find a way out of this pit. It is in the nature of your circumstance to believe there is no way out, cause.. if you had any evidence for a clear cut solution you would have already pursued it.