I hired a team of experts, and after hundreds of focus groups, the results are finally in.

It turns out that 4chan is full of people who are needlessly over concerned with their anonymity

(It's not like they're anybody important, so what makes something anybody wants there information?)

these losers allow life to pass them by while they sit in a chair staring at an LED screen... But they're worried somebody's going to try to find out where they live?

....... So.. That means they wouldn't want to give out their address, so I couldn't possibly send them an actual hard copy plastic fan club membership card...

So instead of selling memberships to the fan club for $10 (which I intended on donating directly to animal rights groups)
I've decided please nice young fellows in the gaming chairs can actually EARN SOMETHING For the first time in their fucking lives

So instead of selling memberships for $10 a piece, I'm going to let them EARN A FREE MEMBERSHIP... by donating TWENTY DOLLARS to any charitable organization that helps animals

If they can show me they have sacrificed $20 to help animals, I will SUPPLY THEM A DIGITAL COPY OF AN OFFICIAL MEMBERSHIP CARD

And they can go to any FedEx office (formerly Kinkos) and have the membership card printed onto actual hard plastic... A keepsake... A collector's item... a cherished Oracle...

I don't care how much you might like log fag, because if you want to be considered a member of the OFFICIAL FANCLUB™ You've got to get approved by ME first.

(logfag is NOT affiliated with his official fan club. I won't even allow him to become a member)

So in the next few upcoming months, expect to be somewhat bothered by my fan club advertisements

because if I can get even ONE of you weirdos to pitch $20 towards helping innocent animals?

It will be worth it