You ever buy Ethereum?

*audience chuckles*

You spend all weekend reading whitepapers, learning about gas fees, and you're like:

"This is it. This is the future. We're going to flip Bitcoin any minute now!"

*audience bursts out laughing*

You click "Buy", you feel like a genius.
And then what happens?

Nothing.
It doesn't pump.
It just sits there, like an old man in a recliner.
Doesn't move. Doesn't blink. Just... hums quietly in your portfolio.

*audience howls in laughter*

I mean what is the deal with Ethereum gas fees, anyway?
I paid $38 to move $12.
That’s not a transaction — that’s a robbery with extra steps.

*audience howls in laughter*

I mean seriously, THIS is the future of finance?

"Sir I'll take 12 ugly monkey pictures to go please"

*Audience hoots and claps*