>>39992954
Dumb blogpost because i am cursed with thoughts (also bump)
Feeling a lot of physical weakness/fatigue today.
Not sure if it's the overtime hitting me or HRT or diet. I should be by all rights in a surplus when I'm consuming like 2k+ a day but it sure doesn't feel that way.

I feel like I'm prone to overestimating how fast HRT is hitting me but at the same time I can literally see in gym pictures I'm not as big as I was 3 months ago and I am getting breast development. Idk if having previous cycles just made it hit faster this time or if it's cause im on a relatively high dose. Just wish it would smooth my skin out more.

My hair's growing in nicely, it's getting near my shoulders and I only really want it down to just below that.
Have a lot of anxiety about this upcoming army thing that I was too stupid to withdraw from until it's kinda too late to do without being a dick, ig I'll just tell the medical staff I'm on HRT and that'll DQ me, maybe ask if I have any path forward with that but honestly I've kind of lost interest (at least until im transitioned).
It feels really dumb to have some of the background I have while being a tranner, like I know intimately how hard I can push myself if I have to. Also like just weird unease creeping in because I rely on strength for work and it gave me (as a guy anyway) a high level of confidence because I always felt I could brute force problems in a pinch (from social to job related etc). Not sure how to carry myself, guess it's part of the proces