I'm real frightened right now. After decades of repressing my anger and hatred it's been leaking out constantly these past few weeks. Any moment alone I'll get these sudden overwhelming urges to break shit, hit myself, scream, the works. I still bottle it up just barely, but all my control methods are crumbling and I've started frequently clawing at my bare shoulders with my nails as some weird sorta-self-harm-but-not-really thing. It doesn't help. The catch? I'm a 28 year old fucking man. Actual teenager behaviour. I'm really anxious about what's gonna happen when it boils over and inevitably someone finds out. Is this how self-destruction works? Just keep coping anon, keep coping, it's for the money.