I understand now that my d*d was traumatised in his own ways like me nd probly couldnt help how he was or at least he probly never wanted to end up that way with his kids jst like he used to tell me his d*d was like but its what happened I was too young to handle it or empathise i was jst scared. Ave never had good nerves. N ppl that get angry n shout a lot.I cant deal with. So i just crumbled.But thats just how life has turned out.Perhaps nxt year,who knows what can happen. Fr now i try my best with my stp dad.I appreciate everybody thats nice to me in life more than they could imagine am jst not good at how to let them know that.