I can no longer tell if I’m feeling genuine dysphoria or just other depression feels anymore when I think about my body and how I’m still a man in the world. I remember old situation when I was still meeting trans people irl, and how they treated me. Softly sure but I feel genuine disgust at my self. Idk
I know my rogd tocd and agp/agamp are super imposing everything
If I had a genuine gamble soul or was trutrans or transitioned much earlier in life or felt comfortable as a human being I know things would have been ok but now I gotta be a faggot online just to get answers
I hate my therapist for asking “what I want from them” and be saying “what is true” and “to feel safe” and crap like that cause now o don’t know if they treat as a girl for their moneys sake or because it’s true.
Hate this ambiguity
Constantly between calmness and manic “mental suicide” and obsession