>>81798644
>that doesn't mean you can't look at things in an objective way.
im not sure that i can look at things objectively
i can tell that im nearly totally insane
>have you tried making amends with yourself?
i guess yes i have but i dont even know where "myself" is. there are thoughts within and even feelings, but there is no me. it's like looking for a forest and seeing trees. how can you escape yourself? to say objectively is to consider something outside of yourself, but i dont think i can really do that. my thoughts are constantly in flux and never consistent.
it would be much better to be happy than to hate yourself i think, yes. but can you really choose to not hate yourself? when there are impurities in chemistry, we try to discard them as waste and store them somewhere. to purify a soul can't you do the same? allow your inner thoughts to bear the pollution so your hate never leaves your body
>i hope they were not your parents. they do not sound like reasonable people.
it was my mom and my aunt.
>this is a choice, anon. a choice you are making. and this choice is what makes you different.
do you really think so? what's the difference between helping others because you feel compelled to and hurting others because you feel compelled to. how do we choose what we want to do? i have been pretty sincerely compelled to nihilism on the subject of choice or a will
>it seems like your mom did a good job beating your self esteem to a pulp. do you have any friends?
i dont have any friends in the real world, no. there are people that i talk to online though. i went to a synagogue for a bit but i couldnt pay the membership dues and was too humiliated to appear again without the money