Looking for the best way(s) to commit suicide while minimizing harm to others and ensuring my family doesn't know it was suicide. (I know that regardless me doing so will cause them a lot of pain, but preferably something seemingly random wouldn't hurt as much as knowing I did it purposefully)
>inb4 "don't do it, it gets better"
I have felt this way for years at this point, during which the thought of ending my own life has been present in my thoughts at least once every three days, and that was when life was going especially well.
It is genuinely unbearable to go on and if there is any way to end it without my family knowing or innocents being hurt physically or psychologically I would do anything to know if for no other reason than to be fully informed before I make a decision.
Currently after considering this question over for months the best I can come up with is hiring someone to stage a mugging gone wrong, that way they can alert the authorities so no one else has to be traumatized by the body and they wind up getting paid for doing it too; my parents also know I'm dead and don't have to deal with potentially not knowing for a while if I were to go missing instead.
If anyone has any better ideas please let me know, thanks in advance.