This post is directed towards both genders. Anyone is welcome to weigh in.
My perspective is essentially that hyper feminine society kind of forces men to react with hyper masculinity. And not in a childish “this will show them” sort of rebellious tantrum. But rather by necessity. The first fact that I have to grapple with is that modern women don’t need me in their lives. I have no utility like my grandpa used to have. That means that women essentially view me as a “value add” to their existing lives. I am desirable only to the extent that I entertain and excite. If I am boring, I’ll just be tossed out. Well my non threatening nerd personality is inherently boring and unexciting. So what can I do realistically? Well I think my best bet is to work out and get super fit and productive. I have to be hyper masculine because that’s what women tend to find exciting. What else can I do? If you add on to that the reality of hypergamy, in order to get noticed my personality also has to be super loud and assertive, bordering on performative.
But this has some downstream effects on my politics and my worldview. If I already have to work so hard to conform to your desires and demands in order to just get my basic human needs met, why on earth would I ever vote for more of the same? Perhaps the ballot box is the last place where I really have agency. And if I’ve already worked on myself thus far to become more masculine, why wouldn’t I want society to better reflect my existence?