Babette
First up! Contestant number 1, BRAINBOY HERO.

Brainboy Hero:
Haha, you know what they say; big brain, big… Oh my! mirthful indulgent laughter
I am a bit of an intellectual… you know, I read… Yes, books, that is, actual books.
I would say my literacy skills are at 100 mensapoints out of 3.14. Heh, that's py for you mongrels.

Nobleboy Hero:
Verily! Dost these peasant think they can beateth me in aye yonder competizion of attraction?
Nobleboy Hero:
I thinketh not, for I be the fairest in the land, my magic mirror told me so as I gazed upon it and uttered the words with my very own mouth.

Nobleboy Hero:
I am very much into the musical arts… it do be chiptune remasters of old Mozart, the bitcrush aesthetic is most pleasing to a nobles palette.

Babette:
Now, dear sister, which boy would you like to interact with first?
Heroboy:
What the fuck is going on? What happened to the hole?