i got literally the perfect bf, top 1% cis people who is actually gay and actually sees me as his bf instead of a tomboy fantasy. but were both young adults and lately ive just been terrified that when shit statistically probably does hit the fan (only 77% of college relationships even last 1 year) im inevitably going to crash, go back to how mentally ill i was before, and kill myself

first relationship since i swore off relationships permanently thanks to a really shitty ex years ago, and im finally at a point where i can be open with someone again but i know if something breaks that ill be cooked